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Steve Jobs: Why He Mattered & Why He Will Be Missed

2011-10-06T11:29:00.000-07:00

Steve Jobs, the innovator and leader of Apple died yesterday of pancreatic cancer. He was 56 years old. I, like many millions of people was saddened to learn about his passing. Although I never had met him in real life, I did know him through the gadgets he helped create and the impact it had on society itself. And what an impact he had. Mr. Jobs helped close the gap between technology and simplicity, allowing a fusion of the two that had never been done before, and will probably be never replicated again.

I've only owned one Apple product in my entire life, and that was an I-pod nano that I bought from Target in 2006. I only bought it because of the word-of-mouth that had been spreading of the I-pod and how this device will change the way you listen to music. And, truth be told, the first time I inserted those white headphones into the nano, and the headphones into my ears, I was blown away at the clarity and simplicity of listening to music. Compared to my old walk-man (yeah, I had one of those) or my portable CD player (Yeah, I had it to, didn't everybody in the 90's) I didn't have the problems of skipping or shuffling. And best of all, I didn't have to carry a cassette or CD album to listen to music. And with the nano, I had over 150 songs that I could carry in my pocket. It was genius.

When my brother was accepted into UC Davis, one of the first things that he did was invest into a lap-top computer. After all, that device is a necessity to a college student the same way that hikers need a compass. They both make life easier. And when I mean that my brother wanted to invest, I mean he wanted to spend over $1000 for a lap-top computer, when in fact you could spend half that on a PC. But no, my brother wanted a MAC. And he bought one, and as someone who's surfed the web on it, I gotta say that it's awesome. And two years later after buying it, my brother is still using his MAC without any problems internally. I should probably mention that I own a PC, and yeah it does the same things as a MAC, but the difference is that with the MAC you don't have to worry about viruses or hoping that the newest PC operating system will function properly.

The main reason that I wanted to use these examples of these electronic devices is because I wanted to illustrate the influence he had on me and my brother, along with millions of people. Mr Jobs was a pioneer; he wasn't a college graduate or a scientific genius, but what he did was reinvent the wheel, so to speak. He took ideas, gadgets, and technology and fused them to become a fabric of society. And for that, I salute Mr. Jobs. RIP Steve Jobs.

Addiction

2011-07-26T13:27:00.000-07:00

Amy Winehouse, a famous singer, who's voice was reminiscent of the old Mo-town days of Ella Fitzgerald, Diana Ross, and Sam Cooke recently died of a drug overdose. She was 27 yrs old. And when I found about her passing, I have to say that I wasn't that surprised, but yet I was saddened and shocked that a life so young and full of promise was wasted away by a disease that is hard to combat for the victim and the victims family and friends. The reason I say that is because I too suffer from the disease of addiction (albeit not heroin or cocaine addiction) but addiction to alcohol and mentally marijuana. I know what it's like to have a craving gnawing at your insides and soul, urging you to partake a little because of the instant gratification. I know what it's like to think that sobriety sucks because of the aspect of dealing with life not under the influence. I can sympathise with a person who just wants to "get high" because of the feeling they get. But, what I cannot understand is when people who don't suffer from this disease (and it is one, make no mistake) tell addicts that they are simply mentally weak with no will-power.

Have you ever seen the VH1 show called "Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew?" Well if not, let me give you the synopsis on what it's about. It entails celebrity's (sorry mostly C & D list actors and actresses going to rehab for their addiction problems) addressing problems that most of us in the real world could really resonate with. For instance, marital and family problems are a big ongoing discussion, and when the patients discuss these problems the truth is that there's an underlying problem that lead the addict to choose drugs and alcohol as a crutch rather than face the root of the problem. One patient, who's name is Jeff Conaway, was on the T.V. show called "Taxi" and was also in the film "Grease." Unfortunately, for Mr. Conaway, this was his limit of celebrity exposure, except for being on "Celebrity Rehab." And, if you've watched the show, you'll notice that the reason that Mr. Conaway went down the path of destruction was because of his childhood. And on one such episode, Mr. Conaway finally confessed the catalyst that has caused his dependence on drugs and alcohol : he was molested as a child. Now, I know that his coping mechanism of turning to dangerous substances was not the healthiest of choices (in fact hypocritical) But, I too have felt the pain of knowing someone had violated me and left a gaping empty hole. As a precaution for my safety and to use my right of privacy, I won't delve into my story, but rest assured, I can understand why addiction can be a "life saving" crutch. But unfortunately for Mr. Conaway and Ms. Winehouse, they could never control their demons and in the end the addiction won. I know that this won't happen to me.

I once heard that forgiveness is the hardest thing to conquer. I never understood that concept, until recently when I saw the special concerning kidnapped victim Jaycee Dugard. If you're wondering who she is, well she was kidnapped as a child and held as a prisoner and repeatedly raped by her molester, with whom she had a couple of kids. Suffice to say, she escaped and was reunited with her family. But when she talked about the notion of forgiveness on a special with Diane Sawyer, and how she needed to forgive in order to move her life forward, but NEVER FORGET, I was utterly impressed at her bravado. It was strength, courage, humility, and bit of empathy all combined in one. The reason I say that is because when Ms. Sawyer asked her about the children, knowing who the father is, and what that means, her response was: their still my children, they had nothing to with this. Wow! And yet she didn't turn to alcohol or drugs to cope with this horrific act. Now, there's someone who embodies on the true meaning of healing.

I am beginning the process of healing both my addictions and the root cause of their problems, with therapy and trying to stay sober ( the second is hard), but I know that I need to do this in order to move my life forward. And so far, it's been working with the support of family and friends. I just hope that people who suffer from addiction try and confront the root of their problems and squash it. Because once you do, the walls that kept you confined to your addiction are easier to brake down.

The Pirates: Celebrating mediocraity while it lasts

2011-07-20T11:38:00.000-07:00

It's been eighteen years since the Pittsburgh Pirates have had a winning season. And since that time, let's take a look at how the world has changed. First off, the last time the buccaneers made the playoffs, Bill Clinton was just about to be sworn in as our President taking the mantle from George Bush senior; Whitney Houston's hit movie called "The Bodyguard" was in theaters, along with a monumental soundtrack; the DUKE basketball team was embarking on another NCAA basketball championship; Bryant Gumbel was still an anchor at NBC's Today show; Dr. Dre was beginning to nurture a rap prodigy named Snoop Dogg, and the first Persian Gulf War was about to end. And, let's not forget that a certain ex baseball player with a penchant for taking steroids (except that he'll deny it to his grave) was traded to the defending World Series champion San Francisco Giants. Wow!

But, despite all the events that have transpired and left the Pirates out looking in, there's reason to be optimistic this year. The Pirates are five games above .500 hundred (for the first time....in a long, long time), and they are leading the N.L. Central. Who knew? After all, all the MLB analyst's had them in the cellar with either the Brewers or the Cardinals leading that division. So it must be sweet revenge for Pirates fans. (myself included) Yet I think that a big reason for them having a "winning season" is because of many factors involving management, the players, and the fans. For example, GM Neal Hunnington made a good decision in keeping outfielder Andrew Mccutchon instead of trading him, like they've always done in the past with their players. And, having a seasoned manager in Clint Hurdle helps in the rebuilding process. His presence and attitude in the dugout brings an aura of "we can do this and win" which was desperately needed for this ball-club.

However, it's the players that play this game, and this year it's the pitching staff that has solidified wins for them. Starting pitchers like Kevin Correa and Jeff Karstens are delivering wins, while closer Joel Hananahan has been crucial and outstanding in closing games. Yet, the backbone of any team are the fans. They are the one's buying the tickets, purchasing merchandise, supporting the team in Internet chat boards, and above all else never giving up hope that this year could be different...and it is.

The second half of the season may be just under way, but I have a feeling that this year the Pirates could make the playoffs, and that finally the city of Pittsburgh could stop cheering on the Steele rs and the Penguins. After all, I want a new tide to come in, and wash away the old. Go Buc's!!

Justice maybe blind, and sometimes that's not fair

2011-07-14T18:24:00.000-07:00

Someday I hope to be a parent and know the joy and satisfaction of what it means. I want to look into my newborns eyes and realize that this little tiny bundle of life is now my responsibility, and know that my purpose in life is so much bigger than I ever expected.

Unfortunately, some couple's have realized this dream--only to have it turn into a parent's worst nightmare, such is the case with an eight year old Brooklyn boy who was named Leiby, and was murdered and dismembered by a monster named Levi Aron. This little boy was just coming back from a day camp, and got lost when he approached this individual asking for directions to safely return home. The sad fact is that this was the kid's ill-fated mistake, and his woeful demise from this planet. This by the way, doesn't excuse Mr. Aron horrific action. Murder is murder, but to kill an innocent child is simply inexcusable, and in my opinion should be given a punishment of being put to death. I know that's ironic and hypocritical in a sense, but sometimes certain people don't see the blessing of being alive and take it for granted. And when they violate and smear this gift of life against an innocent child then the punishment should fit the crime.

But alas, sometimes the monsters and creeps that walk among us get away with their heinous crimes. Such is the case with the ending of the trial of Casey Anthony. If you haven't watched this trial, then I think you've been either hiding underneath a rock or simply don't/refuse to watch the news. This single mother was accused of murdering her two year old daughter named Caylee Anthony, way back in 2008, but was recently found innocent of all charges. When I found about this verdict, I was astonished at how blind a jury could be and thought of the verdict when the OJ Simpson was read. I guess it pays to have a great defense team--even though it cost's a fortune, but it is you're life on the line though. But getting back as to why Casey Anthony was and is (I think and along with many people the prime suspect) she lied to police about her daughter's disappearance, partied with her friends while her daughter was missing, and then was found to have an unusual foul odor emitting from the trunk of her car. Police and forensics experts have said it to resemble the smell of decaying human flesh. Need I say more.

Now, I know that I'm not person who could be a judge, jury, and executioner at the same time, but I do hope that society takes into consideration the innocent lives lost--at such a young age, and realize that certain members of the human race (if you wanna call them that) deserve a punishment worthy of the crime they committed. After all, the science of physics has taught us: for every action that takes place, there is a reaction; and our's as a society should be that people need to be accountable for the deeds they do.

Comic Book Movies: Some are better, and some simply suck

2011-06-29T19:27:00.000-07:00

It seems like comic book movies are all the rage in Hollywood, and why not, they already have an established fan base (way to go nerds, be proud spending you're teen years playing D&D in some body's basement); they are proven money makers, except for a few clunkers (I'm talking to you Ghost Rider....what were you thinking casting Nicholas Cage?); they almost always guarantee a sequel or two, and they always have a hot smoking female counterpart to the hero, albeit intelligence is not always guaranteed. I'm looking at you Uma Thurman in "Batman & Robin" You're Poison Ivy is as smart as a person dropping an anchor on land thinking we'll be safe.

A couple of days ago, I watched the newest comic book movie called "Green Lantern" and boy was I disappointed worse than when The Miami Heat lost in the 2011 NBA Finals. By the way, I'm not a Heat fan, I root for the Spurs. But, getting back to why the comparison is appropriate; like the Heat before the season started, this movie was being tauted as the next "Spider-Man" during the winter season, with trailers being shown as to why this movie is gonna kick ass. Unfortunately, or fortunately the trailers were the best part of the movie. It was all talk and gimmick, without the substantive entertainment that successful comic book movies have. Take note all movie studios and sport franchises, never inflate your commodity as the "next big thing" unless your prepared to take the heat (no pun in ted-ed) or bask in the glory because you were right.

Now, getting back to why "The Green Lantern" was a flop and should rightfully win the Razzie (their awards are handed out to the best/worst film picture of the year, a dubious honor no director wants) The film starts out with Ryan Reynolds portraying a character named Hal Jordan, who is a famous test pilot for an airline company in cahoots with the defense department; they want to guarantee a contract that would make them the exclusive partner in building future military air-crafts. But, there's catch, Hal has to lose to the robot air-crafts in order to show that human test pilots are no match for computer generated piloting. As you can probably guess, Mr. Jordan's ego won't allow him to lose such a match. Oh, I should mention that his partner is also the love interest in the film portrayed by the actress named Blake Lively. By the way, if your reading this and have no idea who this actress is, don't be alarmed ( I didn't either, I had to Goggle her IMDB) she's famous for being on a show called "Gossip Girl" and by her acting in this film, honestly she should stick to the small screen. The reason I say this is because her character/acting want to come off with a sense of: respect me. But the message I got was: please go back to acting school, or fire your the agent that "promised" you would nail this part.

I could go on and on why this movie is terrible, but in all honestly you the movie go-er should be the judge whether you like it or not. After all, one person's trash is another person's treasure, and who am I to dictate what you should or should not watch. But, if you're gonna watch this film, don't blame me, but rather blame yourself for paying full price, when you could have paid matinee just like I did. After all, those three or four dollars could be used for something useful, like alcohol to be drunk before to numb the disappointment at watching such an abysmal film.

Fame & The Baggage It Brings

2011-06-12T14:12:00.000-07:00

What is about celebrities and politicians that make them think that they are immune to public criticism or that they think that they can hide between a monitor when their in front of a computer and on the Internet? Really, could someone answer me this question?

The main reason that I bring up this topic is because recently in the news, an up an coming politician (specifically a democrat) from New York named Anthony Wiener (yes go ahead and laugh, I did) sent some graphic text pictures via Twitter to a woman who wasn't his wife and unfortunately the public got hold of it, and know he's being pressured from his own party to resign. The sadder and more pathetic part is that this politician had a promising future ahead of him, and from what I've read about him, he wanted to run for mayor of NYC. Wow, how the mighty have fallen. But the sadder fact is that while he was sending pictures of his anatomy, his wife was pregnant with their first child.

Yet, this not the first case, nor will it be the last of a politician believing that his stature and power somehow make them immune to standards of decency and moral behavior. About a month ago, former governor of the state of California Arnold S. (last name is too hard to type) revealed that he had fathered a child with the nanny that took care of his own children. And the worst part about this cover-up was that he had kept this a secret for close to a decade. His own wife Maria Shriver (she's a family member of the famous political family known as the Kennedy's) had confronted him about her suspicions surrounding his close relationship with the nanny. I guess Arnold was terminated instead of being the terminator. But, in all seriousness, how could someone run for political office with the mantra of "family values" and be able to do such vile and disgusting things to their own family. Somehow, I think that the power they were able to wield lead them to believe that they were above morals, but in the end, they got what they deserved. But sadly enough, no one wins in this situation. Everyone loses, some more than others.

Yet politicians are not the only ones who think they are immune to saying or doing such repugnant actions. In fact, celebrities are probably the one's who first thought they were above morality. The reason I bring this up is because recently the famous 30 Rock comedian known as Tracy Morgan went on a hate filled rant against gays and lesbians in a stand-up show in Tennessee. I don't want to repeat what he said against gays & lesbians, but suffice to say, it was pretty much hate filled speech that was unnecessary and uncalled for. One would think that a person who works in and lives in Hollywood ( a gay friendly community) would be able to edit themselves in order to keep a thriving career going, but surprisingly or not so, this is not the case. But the sadder fact is that after these rants came to light, Mr. Morgan immediately issued an apology saying he was tremendously saddened by his antics and meant no harm to the gay and lesbian community. Now, I'm not gay or married, but I would think that if you meant no harm to a certain community or you're wife, then you wouldn't have said or done these asinine things in the first place. But then again, I'm not one of these people, just an observer. I just think that there really sorry because they got caught.

Nobody's perfect in this world, and we all have faults, I understand that. And the expectations of believing that a certain persona or that their stature in life makes them a perfect person is wholly unreasonable. But, what we can hope is that people are honest with themselves and with the public who adores them. If nothing else, the thing that we can learn from these people's mistakes is that we should never put them on a god like stature, but we should never be oblivious to the actions they do.

P90X: Why it's Awesome

2011-06-08T11:45:00.000-07:00

Recently, I've made a significant change in my life. And what may you ask is that change? Well, it's me trying the workout regimen known as P90X. If you're reading this, then you've probably seen the infomercials, where people rant and rave about how they transformed their body (they have before and after shots next to them) and what a great program it is. And the crazy part is that they are not wrong about these claims. Yes, I'll admit it, I was skeptical when I heard "normal people" talk about how great this exercise routine is, but soon enough I tried it, and now absolutely love it.

I should probably mention about P90X itself and what it entails. To start off with, it consists of twelve workout routines, all of which are designed to work different parts of the body. For example, they have two exercise routines that emphasize stretching; they are yoga and obviously stretching. The other ten are separated into two categories which are: strength training and cardiovascular training. Strength training videos usually consist of doing a lot of push-ups and pull-ups, and believe me there are a lot variations of them. Personally, I hate/love doing military push-ups and wide length pull-ups. I would describe them, but after reading this blog, you'll probably want to goggle what those are instead, and who am I to deny you such pleasure. The main purpose of these regimens is to build a lot of muscle strength.

Anyways, getting back to what cardiovascular training consists of; it's a lot running in place and throwing punches and kicks. The main purpose of this exercise routine is to get your heart racing and lungs pumping which induce quite a bit of sweat compared with the strength training. But the main reason that you are doing different routines for the body, and why this exercise regimen has been so successful is because it all culminates into something called "muscle confusion" which confuses the body into not allowing itself into getting into a plateau. And yes, this actually works.

The first day of trying out this routine, which happened to be in mid-March, was quite overwhelming. I remember that the routine happened to be called "Core synergistic" and it was overwhelming and exhausting, and honestly I don't know how I managed to finish it. Yet I did. But soon enough the pain and anguish, went away....not entirely, but it was starting to be replaced with adrenaline and endorphin. And yes, little muscles started to form, were muscles had never been before. If your wondering what muscles I'm writing about....it's the biceps and triceps. Unfortunately, mine have always been as defined as Popeye's girl named Olive Oil. Which means stringy and weak-----but this is no longer the case.

But besides the fact of getting into the best shape I've ever been in my life, the thing that this awesome exercise regimen has done is instilled a mental toughness in my life that I knew I had, but was never able to harness. Somehow doing these exercises day in and day out has taught me that having mental toughness will overcome any obstacle in life. It's taught me that if you can do one more pull-up or push-up, and I do, then you can overcome anything in life no matter how hard it hurts. And for that, I'm very grateful.

Charlie Sheen: Entertainer & Bad Parent

2011-03-02T12:28:00.000-08:00

Recently, the famous party-boy actor Charlie Sheen has been in the news a lot. And when I mean a lot, I mean that he's getting more publicity than the ongoing political feud between Democrats & Republicans in Washington and the turmoil going on in the Middle East. Come on news media outlets, where's your priority at? I know more about Mr. Sheen's drug addictions and love of porn actresses, than I do about the Libyan situation. I guess celebrity meltdowns take precedence over Mohmar Ghadifi. Who knew?

But the real question is: Why is Charlie Sheen on a media blitz? Well, perhaps it's because he's recently "claimed" that he's conquered his addiction demons, all while living like a "rock star from Mars." (his words) Just a couple of days ago, Mr. Sheen gave an interview to NBC's Jeff Rosen, were he said, "AA is for fools. The people who attend those meetings are defeated from the start and they are losers. I'm not a loser, I'm a winner." Then Mr. Rosen asked Mr. Sheen "Are you clean right now?" Mr. Sheen's response then was, "Duh! Look at me!" After that answer, my immediate reaction was: Really? Are you sure about that? Nevertheless, Mr. Sheen stood by his claim and the interview went on, where Charlie talked about his two "goddesses" (they're former porn stars who double as nannies for his twin sons, and live with him) and how they help bring in balance to his chaotic world. Wow! If having women who's previous job was to have sex on camera brings serenity to Mr. Sheen's world, while looking after your offspring, I wonder if Mr. Sheen has thought of having a pimp be his son's role models.

Now, I'm not a parent, but I would assume that having women who utter phrases such as: "Fuck my pussy! Yeah, I like a big cock! And get facials (not talking spa's here people)--all on camera are not exactly the best suited people to raise children. I don't know about you, but I don't want my sons or daughters (if I had any) to have their first words be: ass and tits. Call me old fashioned, but I think that the first words out of a child should be: mom and dad.

Unfortunately for Mr. Sheen, a judge took notice on his "parenting skills" and had his children taken away by child protective services. And I think this is a good thing. Perhaps this will be the catalyst that lets Charlie realize that having women who were in the world's oldest profession are not cut out to be the next Mary Poppins. But, with Mr. Sheen's track record, this is a fat chance.

I just hope that Charlie Sheen starts to get his act together and stop living like the guys from the television show called "Entourage." Yeah, it was cool to snort coke lines off a hot Las Vegas stripper---when you're in your early twenties. Doing it when your about to reach the age of fifty is sad and lame. Come on, grow up already. If not for you, then do it for your kids.

Artificial Intelligence: Robots and what they mean

2011-02-17T11:33:00.000-08:00

Over the last few days, the television show called Jeopardy had a competition which pitted two human contestants against a super computer created by IBM called Watson. The idea was to see if man could beat machine at answering questions, but more importantly it was to advance the idea that artificial intelligence is becoming a reality.

Now, I'm not against using robots and technology to advance humanity in sectors such as medicine or law, but I am skeptical of robots replacing humans---as humans. I don't want James Cameron's Terminator movie series to become a reality. Sure, what Watson did was amazing, defeating it's opponents easily, dismantling the humans best efforts. And IBM engineers should be proud of their accomplishments, but as this technology advances (at great speed) the main question that should be asked is: Are humans going to become obsolete?

It was just twelve years ago that another super computer beat chess grand champion Garry Kospov, stunning humans, who never thought that artificial intelligence could surpass them. Fast forward a whole decade later, and now were at the cusp of being replaced by them. That's scary!

Technology maybe great, what with advances in engineering being made in leaps and bounces, but the "human spirit" is something that makes us different from machines and I hope that scientists understand this and don't attempt to replicate it. Robots were meant to serve us as humans; they're not meant to surpass us.

John Lennon: His Impact

2010-12-08T14:55:00.000-08:00

Today marks the 30th anniversary of John Lennon's death. And even though I was barely 11 months old when this tragic event occurred, I'm still amazed at how his life and music touched so many lives worldwide.

As I was growing up, my mom and dad frequently put on Beatles records and told me stories on how this band influenced them to believe in themselves, while also giving them the permission to rock out. My mom in particular told me about seeing the Beatles on the Ed Sullivan Show in 1963 and screaming like a little girl who just scraped her knee. She said, "The first time I saw Paul Mcartney & John Lennon sing together, I felt my knees shake and thought I was in love." Upon hearing that, I was a little creep ed out, considering I think of my mom as only loving my dad-her husband. But I guess everyone has their "teen idol(s) at some point. Yet I can understand her infatuation with these two male figures. Particularly John Lennon.

Years later, as I was working at a music store called "The Wherehouse" (remember them, before they went out of business....due to on-line music distribution) I recall selling the "Beatles #1 record" as if it were a rare commodity, that sold at a Christie's auction in Manhattan, NY. The people buying this record were of all ages, ranging from teeny boppers (who liked N'SYNC ...once again....remember them) to the up-start hipster movement consisting mainly of college students, too, the baby boomers of my parents generation reliving their youth. And, as I sold each album, I was impressed that a band, who has been broken up for at least twenty years could bring generations together with the music they created.

I suppose John Lennon was right when he wrote the lyric, "all you need is love" because love and it's radiance is what keeps humanity moving and keeps generations in-tuned toward each other. Otherwise, how would you explain how his life left an impact on so many people. With that said, RIP John Lennon......as Elton John said, "You were a candle blowing in the wind." God Bless.

Wikileaks: My Take On It

2010-12-02T11:04:00.000-08:00

I'm a firm believer in the first amendment's right of freedom of speech. That being said, I also acknowledge that certain information labeled as "classified" should be kept under wraps. So when Wikileaks founder Julian Assange exposed the United States dirty laundry for the world to see, I was appalled and yet proud. Does that make any sense? If not, allow me to explain.

When the first "cables" containing secret discussions among diplomats from different nations was released, the first thought that ran through my head was the backlash the United States was going to endure. After all, most of the information released had the United States interest first and foremost, and then the welfare of the nation the diplomats were discussing. According to a column in TIME magazine, one cable that was brought to light, was the discussion of Iran's nuclear program and how it poised a severe threat to the security of The Middle East. The discussion was between Secretary Of State Hilary Clinton and King Abdulla of Saudi Arabia and his majesty was quoted as saying this, "Please, please cut off the head of the snake." The problem was that the public was lead to believe that Saudia Arabia was a neutral country wanting to not interfere in other nations affairs. But this leaked cable showcased quite the opposite. As of now, Saudia Arabia is trying to clean up it's dirty little secret and is blaming the U.S. and Wikileaks for the debacle. And yet we still haven't solved Iran's nuclear ambition.

Another cable that surfaced was the ongoing military effort in Afghanistan. According to a column in TIME magazine (again), the United States military was critical of Britain's readiness to secure the province of Helmand. And, too add insult to injury, Afghan President Harmid Karzia agreed with the U.S. that the British were unprepared to fight this war. In fact, President Karzia criticzed the British army, saying, "American Marines are better fighters......those Brits are nothing but weaklings." Can we say ouch? And the more dismal fact is that these leaked cables have strained the relationship between England and the United States even more, and with former president George W. Bush and former prime minister Tony Blair out of the picture, it looks like Washington D.C. and London have some issues to deal with. Good luck Obama and newly elected prime minster David Cameron.

As a journalist, I admire Julian Assange's crusade to bring information that was kept in the dark too the light for the public to digest. But as it's occurring, I'm starting to have second thoughts. Perhaps it's better that these documents were kept under wraps because we wouldn't have these "trust issues" that are taking place throughout the world. The United States military wouldn't be so paranoid about the consequences of their involvement in other nations affairs. And the United States wouldn't be looking at the possibility of trying Mr. Assange under the espionage act. Nevertheless, the leaked cabled did happen, and are continuing too happen. I just hope that the credibility of the United States in foreign affairs hasn't diminished. After all, it would suck to visit a U.S. embassy in any of the mentioned leaks.

Why Sarah Palin Should Not Be President

2010-11-23T17:55:00.000-08:00

Sarah Palin is not qualified, not even remotely qualified to be president of The United States Of America. Sure, she maybe a magnet to the mass media--what with her constant "Don't cha....know ......and I'm a hockey mom...with lipstick. "- Alaskan euphonium's, but if I wanted someone to spout these "words of wisdom" we should just elect fictional movie character Marge Gunderson from the movie "Fargo." Think about it, Frances McDormand.

And yet, the American public (specifically the gullible Tea Party members) perceive her as the phoenix that will rise out of the ashes and lead the Republicans too the White House. Jeez, are you kidding me? This woman couldn't even lead her own state as governor, and yet she wants too be the first female commander-in-chief. Sorry, but the only place where you could play a madam president is on the show called 24----wait that was cancelled, just like you should be, Mrs. Palin.

One example of Mrs. Palin's gaffes is her lack of knowledge in history and geography. On a recent visit to Glenn Beck's radio show, she was asked to comment on the escalating drama unfolding in the Korean peninsula. Mrs. Palin then said, and I quote,"We should fully support our North Korean allies." Upon uttering that idiotic comment, Glenn Beck quickly told Mrs. Palin that our allies are in South Korea and that North Korea was our enemy. Seriously, I'm not lying when I type this. And yet, this is only one of a handful of gaffes that Mrs. Palin has said. I don't know about you, but when I vote for a president, I expect him/her too at least be knowledgeable in world affairs.

But the irony is that, as her total incompetence of being a world leader increases, so does her popularity. What gives? When did we start rewarding the most unqualified people jobs, for which they should be excluded from---forever? Oh right, we did that ten years ago. Now, we have Bush's memoir called "Decision Points" to be thankful for. Way to go American public.

I just hope that if Sarah Palin does decide to run for the presidency, the public is smart enough to eliminate her right from the get go. But if ABC's television show called "Dancing With The Stars" is any indication--we might be seeing a female Palin for a long time. Fingers crossed, we don't.

The Year 2010

2010-11-20T11:07:00.000-08:00

The year 2010 is almost done, and I'd like to take some time and remember some of the stories of the past year.

The first story that struck me was the earthquake that hit the island nation of Haiti on Jan 12th. I remember waking up and turning on the television seeing hundreds, no, thousands of people wandering the streets of Port-Au-Prince, Haiti, looking ravaged and hopeless. The faces on these people were heart wrenching, seeing tears stream down their faces, while others just sat on the broken rubble looking at dead decomposing bodies rotting away. It was as if the apocalypse had just steam rolled into this country and decimated everything around it. And, the sadder fact was that this nation was already the poorest one in the western hemisphere. Fortunately, the world took notice and immediately went into rescue mode, sending in humanitarian aid, along with fresh water and medicine. But a lot still needs to be done. And, having cholera being spread around doesn't help in any way, but let's hope that the future starts to look better.

The next story that stood out to me was the oil spill that occurred off the Louisiana coast. And, who was the responsible party for this ecological disaster? Why, British Petroleum of course. While drilling deep, deep, underwater, they happened to hit a gas line that lead to the eruption of thousands upon thousands of crude oil being spilled into the gulf. All the while, leading the public to believe that this was nothing to fear. What a crock of shit!! It turns out, that this severe calamity was the worst ecological disaster in American History--even worse than the 1989 spill of the Exxon Valdez, and that's saying a lot. But, what's even worse, is that the former CEO of BP, Tony Hayward, dismissed this as something that comes with this business. Are you fucking kidding me? No, no, spilling ketchup on yourself while devouring a hot dog is usual. Or slurring your words slightly while inebriated is normal..........spilling half a tanker's worth of crude oil in a place known for world class seafood cuisine is not normal. In fact, you should be put in prison.....but that's just my opinion. Let's just hope that the gulf recovers and that soon enough.....the public can enjoy seafood as it did before.

The last story, that stood out too me, was the one involving the Chilean miners trapped underground for close to two months. At first, this story didn't get a lot of recognition, considering that mining disasters occur quite frequently. (This is a sad, but truthful part of this dangerous industry.) But what stood out, was that all of the miners happened to be in a safe location underground, and were adjusting to their "new" surroundings. In fact, one miner was keeping up with his exercise regimen, by running laps in the dark, or wearing a miner's helmet to see in the dark. That's hard-core!! Nevertheless, these miners kept there hope up, and soon enough were rescued by their government. And were heralded as "heroes" all throughout the world. I suppose that the term "hero" could be attributed to them, but in my opinion their not heroes. I think that the term "hero" is the embodiment of one who sacrifices his/her life for the betterment of others........and this the Chilean miners did not do. I'm sorry if I sound like a dick for typing this......but that's how I feel. Still, I admire their tenacity to stick together and come out safely.

I don't know what 2011 will bring upon us, but if it's anything like the previous year.....I know it will be informative, entertaining and hopefully enlightening.

Politics & Journalists

2010-11-08T11:17:00.000-08:00

It's been about a week since the mid-term elections took place, and the Republicans trounced all over the Democrats, taking hold of the House of Representatives, thereby changing the landscape throughout our nation---just not in California. No, instead my beloved state stood it's ground and declared itself a blue state full of liberal agenda, despite it's enormous problems--that keep on mounting.

And, you may ask, how liberal and progressive is California, when compared to the rest of the nation? Well, on this years ballot measures, California had proposition 19, which would have legalized marijuana (up to an ounce....for personal use) and made pot a taxable commodity. And, remember that California was the first state too pass medical marijuana, way back in 1996. Progressive enough for you? But, alas the voters of the "Golden State" decided that legalizing marijuana was not in the cards and it ultimately failed. However, I have a feeling that sooner rather than later, Willie Nelson's "medicine" will soon be legalized.

Yet, what stood out to me wasn't the crazy tea-party fanatics screaming, "Obama's a Socialist!!" Seriously, tea-party members......if you're gonna call the president a socialist, then learn the definition of the word first, before using it. I already knew you were crazy.......but using a word in an correct manner, makes you look like an ignorant dumb-ass. Nope, it was the brazen acts of journalists that stood out. Now, I know that journalists are supposed to remain impartial and avoid any signs of bias........but as any intelligent person who watches the news knows: this is hardly the case. For instance, MSNBC is a network known for it's liberal agendas and fully supporting Obama, in whatever he encounters. And who is the ring-leader leading the charge? Why, it's Keith Olberman, formerly of ESPN. Seriously, he was a sports anchor before he became a political commentator. But recently, Mr. Olberman got into some trouble for donating money to candidates (democrats obviously) and was suspended from MSNBC. The alleged reason was that as a journalist, it may come off across as being bias and trying to persuade voters. Really? Have you seen, "Countdown with Keith Olberman?" That guy wears his liberal heart on his sleeve and let's it be known, and he's being suspended for donating money to causes he believes in. So, let me get this straight, you can endorse a candidate, let your beliefs be publicly known........but you can't donate money because this taints the political process. What a crock of shit!! Luckily, MSNBC saw the errors of there ways and will put Mr. Olberman back on the air as soon as tomorrow.

Although we've become a nation that is polarized in every aspect of the word, from our fast food choices,( McDonald's vs Burger King) too our views on climate change (FYI Republicans...........global warming is REAL!!),we still value journalists opinions. The fact that they report on politicians, doesn't mean that they don't have opinions and/or feelings on certain issues. Take for example FOX news. They are a conservative television network with a right-wing agenda, and they make no bones about it. Their anchors, such as Bill O'Rielly or Glenn Beck fully support republican agenda, such as repealing Obama's health care bill-that recently passed. And they've given money to the candidates too hopefully make that happen. Does that make them bias? Hell yes, it does!! Does it make right? That's debate able. My opinion....nope. But, that's what's great about living in this country: I can exercise my right to voice my opinion. And so should journalists; the public shouldn't be so surprised and judge-mental when a person (whose job is to report) voices their opinion. The only mistake that Keith Olberman and journalists like him made-----not reading the fine print on the contract they signed with the company.

Baseball: Why I like It

2010-10-22T14:17:00.000-07:00

I love the sport of baseball. As a youngster, I used to play in little league and really enjoyed it, despite the fact that I was never good enough to be a pitcher. Instead, I was always designated to the right field. And although every position is important in baseball-when it comes to little league, being assigned to the outfield, in particular right field, was a nice way of saying, "Sorry, you're not good enough for the infield.......but we still have to play you." Thanks coach.

But as I got older, my interest in this sport started to diminish and I started taking interest in other activities. For example, I took up running and was soon hooked. I liked the freedom that it gave me, and I was losing weight a lot faster, than when I was playing baseball. But, not that it really mattered-I've always been thin. It also didn't help when the strike happened in 1994; I'm pretty sure that this put a sour taste in a lot of baseball fans. You can include my dad in that group.

Yet, I never fully abandoned my interest in baseball. Especially when the Oakland A's were becoming the hottest team in baseball during the early years of the 2000's. That's what we should call this past decade, right? During this time, GM ( general manager ) Billy Beane was becoming the template that all other GM's wanted to emulate. Mr. Beane's philosophy was simple: let's go after young talented players, bring them up through the farming system, release them into the big leagues for a while, then let them become free agents. And the crazy thing is that it worked-it just never gave us A's fan the ultimate prize: A World Series title. However, it did catch the attention of Hollywood, where a movie starring Brad Pitt & Jonah Hill is being filmed based on this premise. It's called "Moneyball." And, you can be sure that I'll be in line waiting to see it.

On a closing note, although my A's are not going to be participating in the "fall classic, I'm still happy that the other team from the bay area- The Giants will be. And even though famed pitcher Barry Zito will not be in the starting rotation ( he was an Oakland Athletic, before becoming a Giant) I'm glad that all his hard work will hopefully culminate in a championship. As for the opponent, that being the Rangers, I've got three words for you........fear the beard. If you're a Giants fan you'll know what I'm talking about.

My Hometown: Salinas, CA

2010-10-14T11:38:00.000-07:00

As a teenager I always loathed my hometown of Salinas, CA. I always imagined myself leaving this putrid hell-hole for some other place, that didn't have constant gang warfare, high rates of illiteracy, and no night-life. Doing bong rips at your friends house, and then talking about how that Asian girl (really digs me) doesn't count as entertainment.

But as I've gotten older, I've had a change of heart to my city. Sure, the same traits that made me dislike this city in the first place are still there: such as shootings, lack of entertainment, and eating out at your local Denny's or In&Out Burger. Hey, everyone likes a good old-fashioned grand slam breakfast or a double-double at some point-except vegetarians and vegans.What's wrong with them? Bacon tastes good. But seriously, I've learned to appreciate Salinas and it's citizens as hardworking and all around decent folks. For instance, I used to be cynical of the idea of residing in Salinas my whole life. I vowed I would never live in this village after high school. Well, look where I am now. I guess I failed on that promise. Yet, I take comfort in knowing I'm not the only one who has stayed in his hometown throughout his life.

My high school x-country coach named Mr. Green went to North High, then went to college (graduating) and lives in Salinas. One day, I asked him why he choose to reside in the town he grew up in. He said, "I like it here in Salinas. Sure, it's small and not a big night life, but it's home." After hearing that, I started having a change of heart. I began to think of Salinas not as a burden, but as a blessing-in disguise of course. I know that Salinas will never become the metropolis that is San Jose or San Francisco to the north, or Los Angeles & San Diego to the south, but I hope that it starts to transform itself as a beacon of entertainment than what it already is. I have my fingers crossed.

The hype surrounding the "Social Network"

2010-09-30T13:50:00.000-07:00

In a couple of hours, I'm about to watch the new movie titled, "The Social Network." And the best part about it, is that it's free and a private screening. Sweet!! Thanks a lot David.

Now normally, I wouldn't blog about watching a movie, but this film is different. Different how, you may ask? Well first off, the basis of this movie revolves around the creation of the fourth most trafficked web site on the Internet. Facebook. And you may mask, well why do I care about Facebook? Because Facebook is so ingrained in your digital lifestyle; it's where you go to check in on your status, meet friends, post comments, and play games such as Farmville-if your into that. Um...dork. I'll admit I do all of them, except play games. Seriously, I don't play.

But the hype surrounding this film is and unparalleled. Everywhere I go, people are talking about this film, and when I log onto Facebook, people are posting comments about it. This may come off as arrogant, self-effacing, and downright unscrupulous, but we (the public) love it and can't get enough of it. And so does Mark Zuckerberg.

I think that the whole reason people are becoming so intrigued by this movie, is because, it's that movie that defines a whole generation. For example, John Hughes films were the template on what it was like to feel awkward, ostracized, and lonely. Look at the, "Breakfast Club, Pretty In Pink, & Sixteen Candles." And it also made Molly Ringwald a famous red-headed household name. I think the same feelings are going to be reciprocated again, only told through the creation of a social outlet. Plus, I think Jesse Eisenberg is gonna become a household name.

I hope after viewing it, I will really enjoy it, and I think I will. Look for my comments on where else, but of course Facebook.

My Club Experience In San Jose

2010-09-21T16:00:00.000-07:00

A couple of days ago I went to a club in San Jose with my friends, Josiah, Joel, Joel (there were two), Jorge, and some other people's names I either forgot, or didn't catch in the first place. There was also an abundance of ladies also, and I remember three of them. The first was named Klarrisa and she's Josiah's girlfriend. She was actually the main reason we were all gathered in the first place. It was her birthday and we were all celebrating it. The second girl was named Brenda, and she's the first Joel's "lady"; whatever that means. She's best friends with Klarrisa and Joel is Josiah's twin brother. Are we confused yet? The last girl I knew was named Laurell and she's friends with both Klarrisa and Brenda. I met Laurell before, and I would like to get to know her better. And, this was not a sexual innuendo.

Having introduced the characters, we all met up at Safeway, where a "party van" was going to chauffeur us to the club in San Jose. The truth of the matter was that the party van looked like a special needs child mini man. When I first glanced at it, I could only think of the Goonies and when Chunk comes out and says, "HEY YOU GUYS!!!" But I wasn't going to complain, considering this van allowed the privilege of drinking while on board.

The van itself was painted black with tinted windows and blinds covering them. Inside, there was a stripper pole centered in the middle, with red strobe lights moving in a clockwise position. Black linoleum seats were aligned against the walls of the van. You could almost sense being in a hip-hop video. All that was missing was the billows of marijuana smoke wafting through the air. And believe me, I wanted that too happen. But one of the passengers on board was adamant in keeping the party van, not look like it just came back from a Cypress Hill concert. Somewhere in the world Snoop Dogg is shaking his head in disbelief.

As we were on our way to the club, I started noticing how everybody was breaking out their choice of drinks. Beer was the overwhelming favorite, with the famous Mexican brew known as "Tecate" being quenched down, but other poisons were being gulped. For instance, I saw that tequila was also being slurped. The good tequila, by the way-Patron, to be exact. Not that Jose Quervo shit, you're friend in college passed off as "Excellent! It's got the worm and all !!" I on the other-hand, chose to stick with vodka. It seems like I bond with this liqueur, and sometimes ponder if there's a little bit of Russian in me for liking it so much. As I finished downing my drink, while exhaling the fumes from my mouth, I started noticing a couple of ladies shaking their money-makers. Now, the party was getting started. And believe me, these ladies were all looking very, very, sexy; what with wearing tight fitting mini skirts leaving little to the imagination. But hey, I'm not arguing.

An hour later, we arrived at some parking lot located close to the club. Our driver told us, "I'll be here, just chilling. Call me on my cell phone once your ready to leave." We then obliged and started filing out of the van. By the time, we had all exited the vehicle, it looked like a circus had come into town-only full of hot, young, vivacious, people ready to storm in. After about ten minutes of being checked in by the bouncer, it was my turn, and I suddenly started feeling very nervous. Maybe, it was the alcohol in me, or maybe it was the thought of being denied entrance, but something felt very odd. Luckily, the bouncer simply glanced at me, then my ID, then nodded his head in approval. The velvet ropes were then lifted.

I honestly cannot remember the name of the club, but I do recall it having three tiers. The first tier was the dance floor, where the DJ's have their equipment set up. The second tier also had a dance floor, slightly a bit smaller, but this was where the main bar was set up. I saw many young thirsty individuals come up here and order a drink. I can only assume that these people were hoping that the "courage juice" would help ease the tension. I mean, isn't that the whole purpose of drinking? The last tier was filled with observation decks, meant to relax. There weren't a lot of people occupying this area when we arrived, but I assume that this would populated once "last call" was being shouted. Meanwhile, my friends had all gone there separate ways, while I was left alone wandering the club. I tried searching for Laurell, but I got discouraged after about ten minutes. All I saw was dark outlines of her body figure, next to countless others, and figured that this was an aimless goose chase. I then decided to leave the club. But, this was a big mistake.

After exiting the club, while thoroughly intoxicated, and angry/humiliated, I wondered why such "bad luck" happens to me. Perhaps, it was because I'm such a nice guy.....who puts other people's feelings and considerations first. Or, maybe it was because I just didn't "pull the trigger" with Laurell, and tell her up-front how I feel. Either way, it's futile fighting it. But in the end, I was alone on the streets of downtown San Jose, and it sucked. Oh, and by the way, I didn't have a cell phone......because it got lost in the club. Sorry I didn't mention that. But that wasn't the most miserable part of the experience of leaving the club. It was getting stopped by the police, not once, but twice for "suspicious behavior." And the worst part about it was when one of the cops told me, "What you doing here Jagger? You and your kind are not welcome here!! Get the fuck out before I do something, understand?" Upon, hearing that I was really applaud, but more importantly glad to be gone.

Suffice to say, my crew all came back from the club, but it was a different atmosphere than when we departed Salinas......at least for me. While other people were tossing back drinks, all I was doing was staring out the window, wondering "Why me?" I know this seems selfish, considering it was Klarrisa's night out, but this is how I felt.

I just hope that if there's a next time....I'm invited, but I will understand if there's a resounding no. Still, I'll always have the credibility of having a cop tell me "Fuck You." That's gotta stand for something, right?

An Ode To My Dog Rusty

2010-09-06T13:40:00.000-07:00

I was a senior in high school when my parents received Rusty (our beloved golden retriever) as a gift from our neighbors. We weren't looking to have a pet, but due to circumstances involving infighting amongst our neighbor's pets, we took him in, or better said we adopted him.

At first I was hesitant to bond with this animal, considering I hadn't been around dogs that much. I didn't know whether he would growl at me, bite me, or do a combo of the two. After all, my experience with domesticated animals was winning a goldfish at a carnival and then having it die a day later. But as luck would have it, Rusty liked me (not nearly as much as my mom though) and we've bonded over the years.

A couple of years ago, I went camping with my father and brother, and we brought along Rusty as companionship, and to let the fur-ball run around in nature. We camped along some lake ( I forgot the name) and decided that Rusty could use a "cool down" after hiking all day. But the problem was that Rusty would not enter the lake without us going in first or tempting him by throwing in some tennis balls into the lake. My brother, father, and I looked at each other and then at the lake, and then came to the conclusion that throwing some tennis balls would be easier. Besides, that lake was freezing, and Rusty has thick fur. My father was the first to throw a tennis ball, and he tosses it barely beyond the shore. Rusty then immediately goes after it and retrieves it without breaking a dog sweat. It's my brother's turn next, and he throws it a little farther than our dad, but too no avail is it a problem for Rusty. He simply doggy paddles out there, puts it into his mouth and swims back too shore. But then it's my turn, and I want to make Rusty "work for his tennis ball" so I chuck it as far as I can, extending my arm like a major league center-fielder and throw the ball way past the shore. I want to say that I threw the ball past the lake and into another lake, but the reality is that it landed in the middle of the lake. Which, by the way is far enough for a dog to retrieve. Upon doing this asinine move, Rusty takes off and is determined to collect his ball, but then I sense my brother's and father's eyes gazing at me with furious anger. "What the hell, Pablo?" was what my brother was saying. "Goddammit Pablo!!" was what my father was uttering, while contemplating swimming out there to save him. Meanwhile, I was feeling very stupid for tossing the ball that far, and observing Rusty doggy paddling to shore with the tennis ball in his snout. Luckily he made it back safe and secure, but once he did, he collapsed with a resounding thud. Suffice to say, I'm no longer allowed to throw balls into bodies of water, when Rusty is around.

But unfortunately Rusty doesn't have the energy or stamina to do such a task. You see Rusty is very sick and dying. In the past couple of days, he's had three or four seizures, foamed at the mouth ( ala Cujo style), been disorientated, and has severe arthritis in his hind legs. When I watch him move, I feel very melancholy knowing that this is the same dog, who only years ago, ran with such vigor in his body loving life. Only know, he's sedentary with death lingering at every moment. During the day, I hear him whimpering while looking at his water dish, which is only inches away from his mouth, and I sigh in disbelief. I then move the water to help quench his thirst, and I know he appreciates it. But as I help him in his condition, I sense that when he looks at me, he's saying: I'm sorry. Why me? I love you.

My family has been trying to alleviate his condition with constant visits to the vet, along with pumping his canine body with medicine, but we know this is temporary, and that sooner rather than later, his time will expire. And yet, I along with my family don't/want to comprehend living life without Rusty. He's brought so much joy into our lives, especially my mom's. The way he looks at her, is the same stare that a baby looks at a mother. It just Read's: I LOVE YOU!!

I just hope that Rusty realizes how much he's loved in the Kutter house-hold, and that when he goes toward the light, the pain and anguish he's been experiencing will all go away. God bless you Rusty, and all the memories you've brought us. This barks for you.

World Cup: Referees & Why They're Wrong

2010-06-27T16:27:00.000-07:00

This World Cup has been filled with emotions ranging from utter jubilant fervor, (USA's Landon Donovan scoring the winning goal against Algeria in extra time)to, embarrassment and disarray; France losing twice and blaming the coach, too "shock" as when Switzerland beat odds on favorite Spain. But the one bad thing that has been "staining" the competition has been the horrendous calling by the referees. Seriously, FIFA needs to consider implementing instant replay.

As I was watching the match up between my beloved Mexican squadron face off against "rival" Argentina, I had a good feeling that this could be the time that Mexico triumphs, sending Argentina back to Beunos Aires. But that feeling was trampled on when Argentina was rewarded with a goal, that clearly should not have been one. Anyone who watched on television could clearly see that Argentina striker Carlos Tevez was offsides. But did that stop the officials from doing the right thing, and taking it back? Nope, instead the referees let it stand, leaving Mexico dumb founded along with the rest of the world. Needless to say, this "bitch slap" to Mexico left them drained, fatigued, and ultimately losers to Argentina. (again)

Yet the idiotic judgements from these referees did not start off with the Mexico/Argentina game, oh no, there were other games in which "a severe lapse of judgment" took place. One example was the earlier match up, that pitted England against Germany. England's Matthew Upson hit the cross bar and when it fell down, it crossed the line that leads into the net. Once again, if you saw it on television, you would know that it was a goal period. But did the officials award England for an earned goal? Of course not, instead they ruled that it didn't count. I'm starting to think that maybe these officials had not read the rulebook or had actual refereeing experience. It's as if they saw the Will Ferrel soccer comedy titled "Kicking & Screaming" and thought: "Hey, I could do that."

And even though my two teams have been eliminated (2014 is gonna be the year USA & MEXICO), by worthy opponents, who let's face it, played better soccer. Good luck Argentina & Ghana as you move on. The need to have better refereeing or better said "fair refereeing" is crucial if soccer is going to keep it's integrity. That said, I look forward to watching other games and their outcomes.

My Brother's Graduation: Wish, I Was There.

2010-06-11T18:55:00.000-07:00

Right now I feel like the biggest disappointment to my family; it was my younger brother's graduation ceremony from U.C. Davis and I missed it on account of sleeping in. And, the worst part about it, is that, I kept bragging to people how I was going to watch it and cheer my brother on. God I feel like a total hypocrite, or better said, I feel like a republican.

Now, I'm not trying to make excuses for being a total lethargic individual, mixed with the broken promises of an after school special, but I did have class last night, and I was too tired to drive when I got out. And, yes you read right, I'm trying to finish out and receive my B.A. I would appreciate it if you left the snark, snide,and sarcastic remarks, about my younger brother finishing out before me to a bare minimum. I deserve them, but please take pity. Try, and think of me as former president Jimmy Carter's brother, Billy Carter. Sure, he was a drunk and an embarrassment to many, but goddamn: he was entertaining.

Yet despite my asinine attempt at jocularity writing, regarding this event ( actually, let's call it a milestone) I simply know that what I did, or better said didn't do, was inexcusable. I made a promise to myself and others, that I would attend my brother's graduation from a prestigious university, and I FUCKING FAILED to show up. It's not so much the handing off of the degree, from the university acknowledging your great achievement, that internally saddens me; it's the after pictures taken with the graduate holding the degree, while someone is grabbing their shoulder that makes me feel melancholy. And, I missed it on my own kin.

I just hope that my brother can forgive me, for being a "less than perfect big brother" and realizes that despite, my deplorable behavior, I'm still proud of what you did, even if I wasn't there in flesh and blood to witness it.

An ode to soccer & kids.

2010-06-10T13:23:00.000-07:00

Today is my last day working as an after school teacher, and I want to give a sincere thank you to my coworkers. I really appreciated everyone of you and what you did. But more importantly, I want to express my gratitude to the children-your thoughts and writing (sometimes not so good) helped me see a different side of myself, which helped me become a better writer.

Of the many writing topics, that I gave my students to write about, the sport of soccer was the most popular. On a side note, most boys picked soccer. When it came to girls, they tended to write about teen singers. It was a toss up between Justin Bieber, Miley Cyrus, & The Jonas Brothers. Anyways, I was intrigued why the sport of soccer was so popular among the youth. These kids love soccer the same way Texas loves high school football. If there not playing soccer, you can mostly figure their talking about soccer, and the famous European players. Messi, Kaka, Rooney, and yes even Mr. Posh himself David Beckham are revered and admired. By the way, if you don't know who Messi is-he's from Argentina, and arguably the world's best player right now. Kaka is from Brazil and is the second best player in the world. They're like the Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal of professional soccer. Or at least, that's how I understand it.

When I sat down with a student and asked him to write about soccer, most of the time his writing consisted of a couple of simple sentences. And, I corrected them, but I really wanted to know why this sport meant so much to the student, despite the lack of written communication. So then I asked the student to tell me about soccer. One student told me about his awesome adventure visiting the famous TECOS stadium in Guadalajara, Mexico. He said he was surrounded by thousands of people all chanting. Another student told me about his desire to win a soccer championship for Alisal high school-once he attends. On another side note, the Alisal high school Trojans have already won a championship. While another student told me that he likes the simplicity of it. All you need are a round ball and an open space. Oh, and legs also. Yes definitely legs.

After hearing about the many reasons soccer is admired by my former students, I started too think about the upcoming World Cup, and wondered what it meant for them. A majority of my students are of Mexican descent, and would rightfully root for the Mexican national team, but would they root for team America? I asked this, and a resounding majority, said, and I quote: "Mexico is going to win!! USA sucks!!"I just laughed after I heard that.

Now that we are mere hours away from the opening ceremonies of the 2010 FIFA World Cup, I have a better understanding of why this game means so much too many. It truly is the "World's Game." And good luck team Mexico against home country South Africa, in the opening game. USA good luck against England.

Facebook: Family, Friends. Foes?

2010-06-07T18:46:00.000-07:00

Lately, the uber-popular social networking site known as Facebook, has been getting a lot of notoriety, both good and bad. Good in the sense that their partnership with such conglomerates, such as Walmart, Safeway, and even Apple, has boosted their revenue through advertising. I wonder if the AMC television show called "Mad Men" had something to do with it. Or, if Facebook CEO Marc Zuckerberg uses the alias "Don Draper." Sadly, I will never know. But bad in the sense that Facebook's policy regarding privacy issues is being questioned as legit, and does it intrude on our personal lives way too much ?

As a concerned citizen of the United States of America/paranoid individual, I took it upon myself to see how other people felt about Facebook. Did they like it or not ? If so, why or why not? Why did you choose to be a member of Facebook ? And, lastly, but more importantly: Why haven't you accepted my friendship request? It's not like I have leprosy, chicken pox, or swine flu. We don't even chat face to face. Nevertheless, I was determined to find out people's opinions about Facebook.

As soon as I posted the question of Why Facebook? I immediately got replies. The first was from a "friend." (I want to clarify that quotation remarks are not insulting....they're just easier to distinguish pertinent information.) Anyways, his name was Dan L. (you can guess his last name) and he said that he joined Facebook, because an old co-worker suggested he do so. Without trepidation he did so, and now he's a full fledged Facebook member who's gained a plethora of world views. The second person who commented on my Facebook post was from a member, named Thom, who shared my last name, which so happens to be Kutter. The best last name ever created in my opinion. And, like Dan, before him he joined Facebook to have an "enlightening" experience. I was beginning to think that Facebook might be a link to some awesome porn website, but no such luck occurred.

But soon enough, other responses started to come in, such as "it allows me to connect to friends and family in different locations." said a friend named Hopie. It's a real name. Another woman named Veronica, said, " I like Facebook a lot. I've reacquainted myself with old friends, whom I met during my college years in Chile." Shellie, another friend said, "I joined, because I was being peer pressured from my family." After I read that comment, I began too think if the "South Park" episode was really mocking it or stating an ugly reality: Facebook feeds off YOU!! My brother named Daniel then said, "It's necessary while your in college."

But the number one reason people joined Facebook, was to jump ship, from the doomed "Titanic" known as Myspace. Yes, before Facebook came along and "connected" us; there was Myspace, who gave us our very first "friend" named Tom. The best part was that you didn't even have to "request" him. And, you could customize your profile, while showing off your "TOP EIGHT" friends. Aw, the memories. Fast forward six years later, and most people (except for teeny boppers) now view Myspace with the same contempt of BP, just not as hateful. "Myspace is boring and for losers." said, my cousin named Gaby. Shanel Jackson said, "Mypace is boring. Plus I've found a lot of friends on Facebook." Carmen Lockhart said, "Myspace causes too much drama. Plus, Facebook is way better." After reading these comments about Myspace, I was beginning to think of Myspace as the cesspool of the Internet. When you "log in" you better double bag your circuit wire, if you know what I mean. Which reminds me, I desperately need too delete my account.

So after my journalistic endeavor to find out about people's viewpoints about Facebook; what have I learned? Well I learned that Facebook is a great way to express opinions and share memories, and that most people will sacrifice a little bit of privacy, if it means connecting to other people. But more importantly it's the place to be at, when your trash talking about Myspace. If anybody knows if "Tom" from Myspace is on Facebook, please friend request him. After all he did "befriend" you without hesitation.

Teaching Judaism, while being a gentile: It's Not Easy

2010-05-26T20:06:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I just completed my very first power point presentation, and it was about Jewish culture. I should probably mention that I'm not Jewish at all, and please forgive me Rabbi Jeremy for being a gentile "teaching your faith." I promise that one day, I will visit a synagogue on Friday prayer.....can't say when, but it will happen-one day.

Honestly, the reason that I chose this culture/faith is because I've always been fascinated by them. I loved reading and studying there ancient history, beginning with the exodus from Egypt, all the way to modern times. By the way, this religion/lifestyle has been persecuted throughout history, more than the whip lashes that Jesus received, while carrying the cross. After typing that statement, I know that I'm gonna receive a lot of "hate mail." Take it easy Sarah Palin lovers.

After doing research on the Jewish culture, a couple of hours ago, I know I'm freaking lazy. (Which really consisted of goggling articles on the Internet and then downloading pictures of Jewish ceremonies and food.......thank you Wikepedia), I started to make a power point. But I had help also. My friend, whom I'll call "Adam" to protect his animosity, and stick with the Jewish motif, was more than willing to help me. He suggested that I write texts to go along with the pictures. After hearing this advice; I heeded it, and soon enough completed a power point worthy of Hebrew school, provided the Hebrew school was located on Easter Island, with no comprehension of Judaism in the first place. Nevertheless, I was done, and had to present on what I learned about Judaism.

As soon as I arrived on campus the presentations had begun, and my G-D, were they good. The first couple were about terrorism and as I was watching them, I felt like I was being given the synopsis on an episode of 24. I expected Jack Bauer to jump out and greet the class, and give a lesson like Smokey the Bear, only substituting "Only you can prevent forest fires with......Only you can prevent terrorism." After I viewed it, I vowed I would report any stolen picnic baskets, and would never allow a bearded man to light a match near his face.

Soon enough my time came, too present, and I'll admit it, I was as nervous as when a freshman enters high school. "Will they like it? How will they react? When is this going to be over........Do they know I'm a procrastinator?" It turns out that when I presented, I did an "excellent job." I covered all the basic concepts of Judaism and their holidays, and surprisingly my fellow classmates told me they had learned something that they had not known before. I don't know if that was a cynical comment, but I'll take it as positive reinforcement. Either way, I was just glad to be done.

I just hope that if I tackle Buddishm as a topic, that it won't involve such inner turmoil.

Adventures at Costco: Who knew ?

2010-05-16T15:22:00.000-07:00

I just got back from Costco and bought a package of Kirkland Vitamin Water. Now, I know that I've already blogged about this place and how awesome it is, but the main reason that I want to write about it, is the adventure I had observing customers and how they treat each other.

As I'm about to enter this warehouse,( where one can buy everything from five gallons of mayonnaise to a 24 pack of Starbucks Frappacino, and whatever else your heart desires, in bulk of course), I then open up my wallet and show the nice lady, my membership. She's guarding the front end of the store; the same way a bouncer watches a strip club. I appreciate this. After showing her my mug shot I walk on into the store and start to feel like a member of an exclusive club. But my feeling of empowerment is soon trampled on (literally) when throngs upon throngs of people pass me by.

As I'm passing by the electronic area, I notice a toddler crawling around by himself for about twenty seconds, before some teenage girl scooped him like an ice cream cone. Now, I'm no parent, but it seems like letting your kid crawl around on a dirty floor, with strangers, and not to mention heavy items that could possibly crush you instantly, perhaps is not the most responsible action to take. I'll be sure to check PARENTING magazine and ask their opinion about it. Needlessly to say, the parents of the toddler just glanced him over, the same way that people inspect fruit and vegetables at the produce section. It looks good, it's fine.

After viewing the this debacle, I made my way through the beverage aisle, but was sidetracked by how many people were leaving a certain "taste table." You see, not only is Costco good for your wallet, but it's also a great place to sample items. This weeks delectable entry was popcorn chicken, and who doesn't love the taste of it? But it seemed like the people of Salinas had never even sampled it, by the line formed at the table. There must have been a line of forty people; all waiting to sample a morsel of white chicken coated in flour and fried. I'll be honest, the smell of it, made me want to get a piece, but I decided that I didn't want to stand in line. I just felt bad for that one Costco worker. She definitely needed some backup.

Shaking my head in disbelief, while I'm pushing my cart away, and once again towards the beverage aisle, I saw another table promoting an item. Only this time, the "merchandise" was not edible. In fact it was TIDE detergent, and the lady standing behind the table, wearing her hair-net and all, was none too enthusiastic to show how great TIDE works. And, honestly I don't blame her, but how about a little demonstration to showcase how great TIDE gets out stains. Is that asking a bit too much? I mean, all you need is a bowl with cold water, TIDE, and jeans with a grass stain. Think of it as imparting laundry knowledge. After strolling past this table, I had finally reached the beverage aisle and put my purchase into my cart.

Securing my acquirement, that I had come here for in the first place, I made my way to the cashiers station. The lines were very long, extending well past the pharmaceutical portion, and into the clothing area. "Shit" was my first reaction, but soon I located a line that wasn't too long filled with people, or people lugging around a lot items. I felt like Goldilocks when she choose the medium bed. Just right, or so I thought.

Unfortunately, the people in line before me, were a couple of annoying, obese women, who resembled the addicts on the television show Intervention. Oh, and they also had a toddler by the way. One woman, who was wearing glasses and had a tattoo of a sunset, or so I think, on her left shoulder, reeked of dirty diapers and Marlboro cigarettes. Meanwhile her counterpart who was covered in tattoos, kept commenting on how many "hot guys are here." I just thought to myself, I pity the fool that sleeps with you or has already. But then the real signs of how bad these parents started to show. You see, the toddler began by whining and pulling the sleeve(s), or should I say "fat" off the woman in glasses. She did not like this, and then in a fit of rage turned to to her associate/partner and said, "The fucks the matter with this kid? What the fuck does he want? Should I take him to the fucking bathroom? " The other woman just said, "Yes, you fucking should." And, so the woman with glasses ( bad parent by the way) took the child to the bathroom. I just stood there shell-shocked, thinking am I in an episode of Maury Povich or COPS? Five minutes later, the woman with glasses and her toddler return, and pay for their purchases, but not before getting into an altercation with the cashier, involving buying Costco pizzas. Apparently, the woman covered in tattoos had called in earlier, ordering a couple of pizzas, and she expected them to be ready by the time the two of them had finished shopping. Go figure. Suffice to say, this whole ordeal was settled and, I hope that toddler turns out "normal." I then payed for my item and walked out content.

After having the experience I had today at Costco, I don't know whether to recommend a membership to someone, or to discourage one, but either way, getting/eating free samples is awesome and could be entertaining.

Going Undercover

2010-04-29T20:45:00.000-07:00

This weekend, I'm thinking about getting a pedicure or a manicure. No, I'm not gay (not that there's anything wrong with that) if that's what your thinking, but I want to know what the big hoopla is about-surrounding yourself with old ladies touching your fingernails and toenails, without them gagging and making them look fabulous. I can't believe I just used that adjective. I watch the Bravo network way too much.

The reason I want to experience what women take as a "necessity" is because I want the familiarity that other people in the beauty industry know. The sheer excitement of what it is going on in a salon or beauty parlor and feel like the most important client must be awesome. Perhaps, it could be attributed to the fact that my ex-girlfriend was a hairstylist/make-up artist. But, in the end, I'm desperate for attention, so this is the perfect avenue. I also want that hangnail removed. But besides that, I want to know the relationship between client and owner. Is it symbiotic? Or is it mutual? Or is platonic with the "friends with benefits" aspect. Something tells me it's a culmination of the three above.

I just hope that the beauty/stylists working in the salon won't ridicule me for being a white boy....or worse an undercover "white boy" journalist without a college degree.

Marriage: The good, the bad, and Larry King

2010-04-25T13:10:00.000-07:00

The idea of getting hitched really frightens me. It shouldn't considering my parents were all ready married by the time they were thirty. And that a lot of my peers are married or close to it. But it does. I value my freedom and the notion of having to share my belongings, which you could lose if your marriage dissolves and ends up in a messy divorce scares me.

Nonetheless, society tells us that marriage is good for us. It provides security, confidence, stability, and the perception that your a productive member of your community. Now, I will not try and dispute these assumptions or perhaps better said benefits, but I have one question to ask: if marriage is so great, then why do we have a fifty percent divorce rate? Why would people get married if there's a chance that their marriage will end up annulled or divorced, within the first years of the marriage? Did they feel pressured to join in union? Or did they think that they were ready to be husband and wife, when in fact they weren't? Or did love make them blind to the hardships of marriage life?

Yesterday I read that the king of marriages, Larry King, was going to get divorced for a whopping seventh time. Yes you read right, seven. I would think that after one maybe two marriages going kaput, that your view on marriage would be very cynical, but not for the man in suspenders. He kept trying and was more persistent than a rejected American Idol contestant. You gotta admire that tenacity, despite how delusional his thought process is and he's definitely not a quitter. If and when Mr. King decides to walk down the aisle with wife number eight, I just hope that this one works out this time, but with his track record, that's a fat chance.

I'm not anti-marriage by any means and if two people want to share a life together in good times and bad, I fully support it. I just don't know if it's in my future. Perhaps it is or perhaps it isn't, but I'm ready to find out.

Texting: Why I Disdain It

2010-03-22T19:33:00.000-07:00

I'm one of the few people in this world who doesn't text and is proud to admit it. Now I know what your probably thinking, but Pablo; why would you subjugate yourself to such mockery and ridicule, when texting has become as accepted and widespread as giving the thumbs up to signify you like something? Well, because in my opinion texting defeats the purpose of using a cell phone in the first place. Wasn't the phone invented with the idea of communicating with other people using your own voice? I really doubt that we had deaf people in mind when the cell phone became a staple to the masses. If so, ring tones would have been a really cruel joke.

Yet despite my stance on being one of the few people in the industrialized world, who is adamant on sticking to his principles, I still get "the rolled eyes look" when I tell people I don't text. As if this is a crime against humanity. I personally think that not using toilet paper seat covers at a public bathroom is a far worse crime. After typing this, I really hope that someone is not texting, while sitting on a public toilet, without a seat cover. But I wouldn't be surprised.

But the fact of the matter is that texting is accepted and almost a necessity; the same way that getting paged and faxed at was in the 1990's. You know what I'm talking about people born in the 1970's and early 1980's. Don't deny it.

Maybe I'm being cynical at the notion of adapting to the ever-changing technology way of communicating, but as a person who improves little kids writing habit's, I sincerely believe that it does more harm than good. Having someone who writes Where U At, or R U Okay, when they cannot even write the correct grammatical form, not only signifies their lack of intelligence, but it also makes the United States Of America look like the laughing stock of the educated world. But then again, texting about what the Kardashian girls are up to doesn't require the correct grammar of Shakespeare.

Health Care Reform

2010-03-21T15:44:00.000-07:00

I don't have health insurance. In fact I haven't had health insurance since I was twenty four years old. And I'm thirty years old now and I can't remember the last time I visited the doctor and truth be told I don't want to. Even for a routine check-up. Why? Well because I cannot afford to pay the hospital bill, not to mention the prescription drugs, should the doctor recommend I need some. If I needed medical attention, I would rather suffer at home and try and remedy it myself, than visit a hospital, who more than likely would throw me out on the street because of lacking insurance. It's a vicious cycle isn't it.

But I have hope that with today's monumental health care reform bill, that I and so many millions of Americans can visit the doctor without having the fear of bankruptcy looming over one's head. I want President Obama to sign this order into law for the main reason that health care should be a fundamental right to all Americans and not just a privilege to a select few. It's not fair that people should choose whether or not to visit the doctor for an undisclosed reason and "pray" that they could afford the co-payment, provided they have insurance in the first place. This is immoral and is the anti-thesis to what our four fathers said in the Constitution: "Life, liberty, and justice for all."

I can only hope that the Democrats can muster up the strength to overcome the Republican agenda of vetoing this bill to it's grave. But from what I've seen on C-SPAN about it, I'm pretty confident it will pass. As the old "Metallica" song is titled please be "The Hero Of The Day."

Teen Idols: Every Generation Has One

2010-02-24T09:41:00.000-08:00

A couple of weeks ago I joined the social networking site called Twitter, for two reasons: one being that I was curious as to what it was about and two I'm desperate for attention. And so far I've been really impressed. I've tweeted many dumb quotes and have garnered over one hundred followers, while at the same time following some of my favorite celebrities. By the way I'm a big fan of Danny DeVito's tweets. The troll foot is awesome; you'll understand if you have seen the show It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia. But one thing that has been irritating me is the massive attention a guy named Justin Bieber has been getting. Who is this schmuck and why are girls going gaga over him? So I decided to do some investigating to find out just who this person was.

It turns out that this person is a teenage heartthrob who sings and dances. I've just never heard of his songs and don't really care to either. There probably about liking girls and wanting to take them out and eat frozen yogurt. Who knows? But regardless of my disdain; he's certainly popular and could give Clay Aiken a run for the money. He's like the Justin Timberlake of my era, only without the crappy boy-band. And boy does this guy make girls faint, scream, and cry as much if not more than the Jonas Brothers. He's also giving the magazine Tiger Beat good sales, along with school merchandise IE....binders, notebooks, backpacks, and lunch boxes. Personally I would find it kind of disturbing to see his mug shot, while I'm reaching for my tapioca pudding.

Yet I can sort of understand the whole fascination with teen idols. When I was young my favorite teen idol was Alysa Milano. Albeit she wasn't a singer but rather an actress, but I loved her and many times pictured her as my girlfriend. I had her plastered over my school binders (we called them Trapper Keepers) and always tuned in to see what would happen on the TV show Who's The Boss? I was so jealous of Tony Danza. But as I started getting older the alluring fame of her that once took hold, started waining and I wasn't that interested anymore. Yes I thought she was pretty, still is, but my enthusiasm to cut out pictures of her and tape them on my walls or desk had disappeared.

Perhaps I'm being to critical of today's teen idols and I should just let them have their fifteen minutes of fame. And I will, but you'll never catch me buying a Justin Bieber song off I-tunes.

Dog Shows: Pretentious Or Entertaining?

2010-02-21T16:04:00.000-08:00

Lately I've noticed a lot of attention that's geared toward dog shows and I'm wondering if the human owners want the notoriety more than their furry companion. If so, that's a weird way to attain your fifteen minutes of fame.

Now I have nothing against people parading their dog(s) around trying to get noticed. Heck I would probably do it too, if I had a cute cuddly dog to call my own. In fact I'd be at a dog park right now trying to score with some ladies. Admit it single gentleman, you've tried it. But what I do have a problem with is people hiring stylists, hairdressers, and even agents getting their pooch ready for the red carpet. Come on!! I love dogs as any red-blooded American, but I wouldn't spend that money to have a canine look like he was attending the Academy Awards. Remember that this is an animal that walks on all fours, licks it's own genitals and sniffs other dog's rectums. No human does that, except for Brendan Fraser's character in Encino Man. And he was a cave-man.

But regardless of what I think, owners of these dogs still try bizarre tactics to try and convince the public that their pooch is best in show. They put the dog into the best training school, feed him/her the best food possible such as caviar and steak (what's wrong with Alpo?), and have makeovers done. Makeovers? Really? I doubt that you could make your little shitzu look like a Hollywood starlet and if so, it would probably resemble Courtney Love or Amy Winehouse.

I just hope that the participants of the next dog shows realize that your dog is probably thinking how humiliating it is to parade around having pompous judges critique your walk and fur. It would be more entertaining if one of the dog's went ape shit Ala Cujo style and bit one of the judges in the buttocks. Now that I would watch.

Tiger Woods: His Apology & What It Meant

2010-02-19T11:47:00.000-08:00

I just finished watching the Tiger Woods press conference, where he apologized to all the people he had hurt. Which probably encompassed the entire world, and as I was watching it, I couldn't help but feel it was fabricated sprinkled with genuine remorse. I know that reads like a contradiction, but allow me to elaborate.

As Mr. Woods came out, or as I like to refer to him as : John Daly's prodigy minus the alcoholic problem, he stood at the podium with a solemn look on his face. As he should have, I mean if he came out with a Cheshire cat grin, people would have been mortified. The public would have crucified him worse than former South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford and former presidential nominee John Edwards. And besides he probably has had that face every time he banged one of his mistresses. Instead he did the right thing by looking at the people; he purposely invited and started admitting his sex addiction. Then the golfing great tried to explain his behavior by rationalizing that he was above morality and ethics, because of who he was and what he had done. What? Let me get this straight, your habitual cheating on your wife, crashing your car on Thanksgiving into a tree, losing major sponsors, and going into seclusion could all be attributed to your ego? You're brazen, but delusional Mr. Woods. But as the speech went on I started to sense that Tiger was being very earnest about salvaging his marriage and career. He spoke about how his wife Elin told him that apologizing to her would not change anything, but his actions over time would be the scale that judges him. I guess the old pro-verb of "actions speak louder than words." is true.

Everyone deserves a second chance at redeeming themselves and those that they hurt or wronged. After all America is a very forgiving country and we love nothing more than seeing somebody rise from the ashes like a phoenix. Look at Mel Gibson, Robert Downey Jr, Bill Clinton and Mike Tyson. Actually I should put an asterisk next to the last one. America still has that bad aftertaste when the champ bit Evander Holyfield's ear. There's something about cannibalism that we don't like. My suggestion to Tiger is to concentrate on saving your marriage first and foremost, and then win some major golf tournaments. By doing this you will start erasing your deplorable behavior and go back to what made you famous in the first place. Trust me, the public wants to see an aplomb Tiger Woods again.

Womens Sports: Most Are Cool

2010-02-10T18:45:00.000-08:00

I first and foremost don't want to sound like I'm an anti-feminist person, but the fact of the matter is that I can't stand some women's sports. In particular: Women's Basketball. Something tells me that after typing that statement, I'm gonna receive a lot of "hate mail" from women's groups. God help me.

There are many reason's why I don't like women's basketball, but the number one reason that stands out is that it's boring to watch compared to a men's basketball game. Have you ever seen a WNBA game before? It's like watching people play "Hot Potato " only in different directions. Enough already, would somebody please make a shot or hell even dunk. On second thought, seeing a woman dunk would probably make me question my man-hood. Yet even after typing all this negativity about a women's sport, I'm still a big fan of other women's sports, even if you don't believe me.

Women's tennis is absolutely fantastic to watch. Perhaps it's because I used to play (still do *sometimes) or maybe it's because I like seeing those tennis girls in those skirts. Please come back Anna Kornakova, Martina Hingis, and Jennifer Capriatiti and don't stop wearing them Venus and Serena Williams. But nonetheless, these female athletes are entertaining to watch on television. There fore-hands, back-hands, serves, and aces are amazing to watch. And I know that if I got the chance to play them in person, they would surely kick my ass. No doubt about it.

The same goes for women's baseball AKA softball and volleyball. I wouldn't want to face an 80 mph fastball from a domineering softball pitcher. With my luck I probably would get hit where the sun doesn't shine, or worse strike out. And I wouldn't like to try to block a spike from the number one ranked NCAA Division 1 women's volleyball team. I think my wrist(s) would break.

I just hope that the people who read this don't, chastise me as a chauvinistic pig, who hates women's basketball, because I don't. But you'll never catch me at an LA Sparks game. Sorry Lisa Leslie.

Super Bowl Sunday:The Best Excuse To Eat, Drink, & Be Merry

2010-02-06T16:14:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is the Super Bowl and although I'm not a huge football fan, I will be watching it. The two teams vying for the Vince Lombardi trophy are the Indianapolis Colts and the New Orleans Saints. And if you must know who I'm rooting for, then I'll tell you: It's the Saints. The reason is because I think that this city needs a pick-me-up after sustaining so much negativity the past few years. Beside's, can you imagine how much celebrating will be going down there, once Mardi Gra comes around? Insane!!

Now I know that the main focus will be on the game itself, but in my opinion the real festivities will be the food and drinks served at Super Bowl parties nationwide. Nachos, buffalo wings, chips w/salsa, and of course the main staple pizza all washed down with cold beer is truly a food lover's paradise; not to mention great business for the gyms awaiting patrons to shed those "extra" calories. And I plan on being one of the millions of people gorging themselves out to the point gluttony. Better stack up on Tums, and Pepto-Bismol.

But the party only gets better with the commercials they showcase during the big game. I love seeing the newest advertising methods the fine folks at E-trade and Frito-Lay use to lure me to buy their merchandise. Who hasn't gone ape-shit at a vending machine, for not dropping your bag of chips, or thought how clever: a talking baby giving me advice on the stock market. But I must divulge, I have not actually bought stocks before. Nevertheless I wonder what this years commercials will bring?

I just hope that after I eat, I will be able to fit into some of my pant's the next day. It would be embarrassing to ask if I could borrow Jared's fat pants.

Valentine's Day: Love It Or Hate It

2010-02-04T18:33:00.000-08:00

Ah romance. To some, it may conj our up good memories of being in love with your significant other, while others view it with contempt and disdain. I personally view it as both.

Of all my years on planet earth, one thing that I have not done is celebrate Valentine's Day with a female partner whom I'm in a relationship with. Not because I couldn't find one, but rather because I chose to be alone. I never felt the need to express my "love or devotion" because some greeting card company along with the mass media told me to. I never understood why we should be forced to buy a box of chocolates, a dozen roses, and expensive jewelry to express how we feel about the person we hold dearly to our heart. Isn't it enough to just say, "I love you! By the way, I'm broke. Remember the holidays?" Yet the American caprice dictates, if you truly love the person your with you will treat them as the queen ( or king to others) as the royalty you believe they are. And if you don't, then how can you claim to love them. This is utter-bullshit and needs to stop.

Although it may seem like, I'm anti Valentine's Day in reality I'm not. Deep down I envy and hunger for that sentimentally that so many people show to each other. Maybe it's because I've always been alone, or maybe it's because I wanted that pretty girl in elementary school to give me a Sweet-tart candy that says: I like you. Who knows? But the fact of the matter is that, I have a soft spot for couples and the affection they show to each other.

With Valentine's day approaching this year, I vow not be jealous, envious, or mad at couples celebrating their love, but will rejoice in the fact that the economy is booming thanks to florists, chocolate makers, and Victoria's Secret.

Public Transportation: Affordable On The Wallet, Easy On The Enviroment & Scenic To The Rider

2010-01-07T12:30:00.000-08:00

Lately I have been taking public transportation not as a choice, but rather as a necessity. My car was recently reposed for undisclosed reasons and unfortunately I cannot walk everywhere. Although technically I could, I would just have to plan hours in advance for everything.

At first I was hesitant and skeptical about getting on a bus full of different strangers, but I soon realized that I had no other options, other than having my parents chauffeur me around. And that was out of the question. My first step on boarding the local public transportation (MST short for Monterrey-Salinas Transit) was to check out their fares and destinations online. So I did and to my surprise the prices were very reasonable and the destinations went pretty much everywhere that Monterrey County encompassed. Hmm....I thought, this is turning out better than I thought possible. The second thing I thought about was where did I want to go first. Should it be around Salinas, Marina, Carmel or Monterrey? I chose Monterrey because of it's location and that I wanted to watch a movie, plus it was the only theater playing the movie.

After locating the closest bus stop location (within walking distance from my house online), I chose one next to a BIG 5 sporting goods store. I left my house and started walking over there, with my I-pod, sunglasses, wallet, gum and flask. You know the essentials in life. As I was walking and listening to the band Snow Patrol, I suddenly felt a sensation of liberation; that was both scared and grateful. I was scared in the sense that I knew I was going to a place without private transportation. After all, if I missed the last bus leaving Monterrey, I was up shit-creek without a paddle; I didn't bring enough money for a taxi, let alone to book a room at a hotel. But, I was grateful for being "forced" to find other modes of transportation. I then took out my flask and took a big swig of the courage juice and immediately smiled.

Five minutes later the bus had arrived, and off I was to Monterrey. The ride over there took some time, but it was nice to be a passenger for a change, instead of the driver. I also liked being inebriated while admiring the scenery that is the city of Marina, while gazing over at the homeless man talking to himself in the back of the bus. I think he was schizophrenic, but no matter. The other passengers on board comprised of a mom of three young children, carrying her groceries from Save-Mart, an elderly man walking with a cane, and two youths holding onto their skateboards. If we weren't headed in different directions, we would have looked like we were all headed to community college.

About an hour later the bus had finally pulled into the Monterrey Transit Station and I unloaded feeling really good. This was not because I had been drinking if you may know, but because I knew I hadn't left a carbon footprint and gone "green" so to speak. To celebrate this momentous occasion, I went to the bathroom retrieved out my flask and took a big gulp that would have made an alcoholic Russian blush. After doing this, I was on my way to the cinema to watch the movie NINE.

By the time I had reached the theater, I was really tired and all I wanted was an energy drink to pep me up. Preferably sugar free Red-Bull. Luckily the movie theater sold some and I bought one, although I knew I was being swindled. But I didn't care. When the movie ended (wait till DVD) I was ready to get back home. I then walked to the bus station, got on and was headed toward to Salinas, CA. When I got home I felt a sense of relief and accomplishment come over me. Here I was, taking public transportation and actually proud of it. Who knew?

I never thought I would take public transportation, but alas here I am and actually enjoyed it. Heck I might even buy a bus pass.

New Year's Eve: Reflection On The Good, Bad, & Ugly

2010-01-02T21:47:00.000-08:00

The first point I want to make with this blog is that I intent ended to write it the day after. The problem was that I drank to much and had a major hangover. (Vodka mixed with white wine is never a good combo kids.) Please stick with Martinelle's apple cider as an alternative substitute.

As I was hanging out with my my family and friends, I started to realize that this decade let alone this year was very perplexing. The reason I say this (actually type this) is because this year/decade brought about many changes in how we communicate ( Myspace, Facebook, Twitter, & E-mail) and yet we still wanted our privacy in tact. We wanted to share and post comment's about people's daily activities (still do), but at the same time were hesitant to disclose our most personal secrets. It was as if the social networking scene became high school: all gossip without any substance; like cotton candy, seems like a lot but after digesting it it's empty calories.

If mass communicating wasn't enough, this decade also encompassed the iconic movie slogan "Greed is good" from Wall Street. Everyone was trying to get a piece of the American pie (figuratively speaking) and it seemed like it didn't matter who you hurt in the chase. Whether it was Enron lying and inflating their stock prices, or Bernie Madoff also doing the same thing in a ponzi scheme. Or everyday average homeowners refinancing their houses to get extra money out; this decade saw society surround itself with the notion that as long as I get mine it's okay. And yet this mantra was ironically our downfall. We wanted to have our cake and eat it to.

The last thing this decade brought about was America' vulnerability. The United States saw itself as a the ultimate powerhouse, yet underestimated it's enemies. It failed to see how it's narcissistic attitude ostracised so many foreigners and lead to the worst terrorist attack on American soil: September 11th 2001. And yet we didn't learn from this disastrous fiasco. Instead of changing our perception and being humble and not so egotistical, we blamed other people. Believe me when I say and type I'm pro- American, but we need to recognize our faults.

I want to end this blog on the note that hopefully we all learn from this and move forward as better citizens and better people. Hopefully something good can come from a decade of disaster.

Consequences Of My Life

2009-12-24T15:42:00.000-08:00

As I type up this blog, I feel very bad and almost to the point of suicidal. I'm about to turn thirty and I have nothing to show for it. I've destroyed my life along with friendships, jobs, opportunities, and just about everything that is good in life. And yet I continue on this destructive path. What is wrong with me ?

About an hour ago I got into a fist fight with my slightly taller brother. Damn you God, for making me only 5'11 and my brother 6'4. As we were going at each other like an over matched Roman gladiator fight, I realized that I was the only one to blame for this quarrel. I was the one who antagonized this fight. The reason was because I overheard my brother talking to my parents about kicking me out on the streets. When I heard this, I felt betrayed by own kin and yet deep down I knew that he was right. I don't appreciate what I have in life, but in fact take it for granted. If people knew the things I have done to my family, I would have been crucified worse than Jesus.

Which is why I want to change, but the dilemma is where do I start and how. Unlike most normal people I cannot comprehend how to act civil. I have a fuse of tolerance equivalent to Garfield brushing away lasagna. Good luck. Instead I want to tolerate people and their comments like Pamela Anderson on her acting skills. Sure, she's bad, but at least she's trying.

I wouldn't be surprised if forgiveness is not in my future, but bum-fighting over a semen stained blank is. And yet I'm not mad. I deserve it. I've been nothing but a pain in the ass for many years in the people who tolerate me the most and still I abuse it. God-damn I'm a fucking douche bag. I'm surprised I haven't been stabbed yet. But, (I know it's hypocrisy) I hope that future generations learn from my path and never step in it. There's no future in fighting your mom over TIDE detergent when your thirty and living at home.

Singing: Everyone Does It; Some Are Just Better

2009-12-21T17:21:00.000-08:00

Okay I'll admit, I sometimes sing in the shower and picture myself as a grandiose performer having millions of fans calling out my name preferably while crying. And if their female also throwing there undergarments at me like just like a Tom Jones show in Vegas. But I also know, that the reality of this becoming a lucrative and successful career is like the Chicago Cubs winning a World Series. Hey, it could happen, but chances are that it won't.

The stemming of this phenomena comes from many sources, mainly Star Search which evolved into American Idol. I believe that if Ed McMahon were with us today, he would be insulted that a host would not want or need a sidekick. *Note to American Idol : Brian Dunkelman was a fine sidekick to Ryan Sea crest and sure he sometimes seemed to encompass the attitude of Eeyore in Winnie the Pooh, but you trying be equal to some guy who always had a better sign off then you. "Sea crest out!" Who can compete with that? Now thanks to you FOX, Mr. Dunkelman has been reduced to shed his image (literally) on Vh1's Celebrity Fit Club. Now, I know what you're gonna ask. He was a celebrity? And, my answer is yes, yes he was. Good Job Rupert Murdoch.

When I first heard Kelly Clarkson's hit single "Since You've Been Gone" in 2005, I instantly knew that this song was going to be a smash and I was right. Everybody you knew was singing along to this tune and wailing their hair while doing it. In fact it didn't matter if you had hair or not. Bald people just belted out the tune to ersatz for the lack of follicular features. But, with the successes of this song, disparagement soon came along. There were covers being made and most of them really bad. I'm talking to YOUTUBE. Thanks to you, now millions of people can post there horrific renditions of a good song. Along with the illusion that everybody could be a stupendous singer. It didn't matter if you were on a hit singing television show, but it sure did help.

Now it seems like every television network has their version of a singing show, contest, or promoting musicians. Whether it's NBC's The Sing Off, ABC's ads for it's music lounge, CBS's failed musical "Viva Laughlin." Anyone remember that show? Your lucky Hugh Jackman that you get a pass on this and your agent. When will the madness end?

I wish that most people would come to the realization that your aspirations of becoming the next Mariah Carey, Beyonce, or Mary J Blige is like winning the lottery and getting struck by lightning in the same day. Fat chance. But, deep down I know that people will still cling to to this pipe dream like an orphan hoping to be adopted by Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt. Sorry Pax and Zahara beat you to the punch. At least, I can take comfort in knowing that Simon Cowell dashed the dreams of wannabe singers nationwide.

Questioning Humanity

2009-11-29T17:51:00.000-08:00

I've always believed that deep down humanity is good at it's core, but recently I'm starting to have doubts. I know that everyday there are murders, arson's, mass suicides, horrific traffic accidents, but lately these tragic occurrences have been making headlines more often than should be allowed. Are we losing our moral compass? Is humanity becoming so unmerciful that we lost reason, compassion, and love? These are questions that have been stewing in my brain for awhile now. And, right now I need evidence that is good to prove me otherwise.

Earlier in the day I read online that my hometown of Salinas, CA just tied last years homicide number. Twenty five lives taken away and the year is not over. I'm tired of reading in the newspapers about another family who has to deal with the traumatic loss of knowing their loved one was taking away by a bullet. I can only imagine what these people's heart must be feeling. Looking over at the dinner table and seeing the empty chair knowing it won't be occupied anymore, must be an atrocious feeling. Yet, the violence continues. When will people realize that retaliation only begets more blood spilled and another funeral to attend?

One would think that on Thanksgiving people would rejoice and embrace each other, but alas this is not the case. In Jupiter, Florida a mentally challenged man stormed into a house and started shooting his relatives. He fatally shot his aunt, twin sisters (one was pregnant with her first child) and his six year old niece. The six year old niece was asleep when her innocent life was taken away. My first reaction was utter disgust and sadness. This family's life has just been shattered and normalcy is something that they will never attain again. My prayers go out to them and I hope they find some sort of comfort during Christmas.

Law enforcement officials are supposed to make the news for apprehending the criminal(s); not be the news, but today near Seattle, Washington they were just that. While four policemen were meeting at a coffee shop discussing cases they needed to solve, a crazed gunman stormed in and shot them dead execution style. The four officers didn't even have time to fire back. I can only assume that brothers of the badge nationwide must be feeling tremendous loss. I believe these constabulary officials did not die in vain, but left the earth knowing they served to protect.

I hope that I start to read or see in the news good stories of people helping each other instead of killing each other. But I know that's far fetched. To the people who read this blog, I hope that you take the time to embrace your loved ones, neighbors, and strangers. You never know when your time is up and it's never too late to say: I LOVE YOU.

Useless Products

2009-11-28T16:49:00.000-08:00

It seems like everywhere I go, I'm bombarded by products that are impracticable, ridiculous or a combination of the two. Just yesterday, I was inside Target where I noticed a device that trims your nose hairs and can double as a thermometer. Can we say gross? Who would buy such a repugnant device? Actually scratch that question. I know who would, and it would consist of backward ass yokels, who still believe the earth is flat and using an electric blanket to cook a Thanksgiving turkey is practical. Sure it is. Maybe for Easter you could cook that ham over the engine of your 1980 Delorian. That fluid dripping down on your pig meat is just marinated motor oil. Nothing harmful.

I can't even go rent a DVD at Blockbuster without seeing some apparatus that serves no functional purpose other than being mocked. And, what's worse is that some of the employees actually try and talk you into buying this merchandise. What is it you ask? Why it's the Snuggie of course. This hideous piece of clothing (if you call it that) is just a blanket with sleeves. It looks like what a Jedi in the Star Wars films would wear or Father Junipero Serra was wearing while trying to convert the Indians. Take your pick.

If the late Billy Mays was here with us and asked to promote these items, I think he would pick being six feet under rather than saying, "Whenever I feel a fever is coming on, I grab my snuggie!!" That's saying a lot considering this dude promoted everything from fix-o-dent liquid; for your car dents, to Oxi Clean for those damn stains that won't come out. Red wine, sharpie pens, grass and even dog shit don't stand a chance against Oxi Clean. But, his greatest publicized endorsement was for Mighty Putty. This asinine miracle substance was created with the intention of fixing broken glasses, holes in your tile wall and that darn toilet seat you cracked while going number two. As if putty can remedy all these household problems. I might as well pop some Big League chew gum and then use it. It would be cheaper and tastier.

I hope that people who read this blog, don't go out and buy any of these items for loved ones. It would suck on Christmas Day, to unwrap your gifts and look that you received your very own snuggie accompanied by mighty putty. Saying, "God, what I always wanted. This sure beats getting that LED TV", with a smile would be painstaking. If you did, I hope the person who gave it to you, also left you the receipt.

Am I A Role Model ?

2009-11-25T16:05:00.000-08:00

What constitutes a role model? Perhaps it's someone who doesn't ask bums if they have change for a dollar or somebody who returns library books on time. Or, maybe it's someone who received their bachelors degree in a timely manner and doesn't yell at the television when he gets the jeopardy question wrong. If this is the case, then I'm none of the above.

Last night as I was sleeping, I had a dream in which I was giving a pep talk to adolescents about being a good person, and I couldn't help but feel like a hypocrite. What have I done that is good besides make people laugh? I haven't given money to Bono's One foundation, or helped refugees flee dictatorships, or even given proceeds from my salad dressings like the late Paul Newman. Hell, I don't even take responsibility when I let out a silent but deadly fart. I simply point to the person next to me. Which is why I'm considering turning a new leaf. I want to be the person that sacrifices their money and time to help those less fortunate. I think I want to be George Clooney. Nah.

My family has reassured me time and time again, that despite my deplorable behavior and antics there is a role model residing in me. They point out that I help little kids write better, have donated used clothing to a homeless shelter, and given blood. Yet, I cannot shake this feeling that I could do so much more. I want to personify the teachings of Jesus, Muhammad, Gandhi and even Sally Struthers. Actually scratch the last one; she cries way to much. Jeez, I'm starting to sound like I want to be God. Maybe I do, but that's another blog.

Maybe I've watched the movie Role Models to many times, but deep down I want people to say, "Pablo was a good person and a pillar of the community." It sure beats hearing, "What a douche bag, and Why did it smell like rotten eggs every time he walked away?"

Black Friday: Heaven For Shoppers & Hell For Retail Workers

2009-11-23T15:56:00.000-08:00

If it's three o'clock in the morning, chances are that I'm either asleep, watching shows on Hulu, or raiding the fridge looking for some string cheese. But, one thing that I'm not doing is taking a shower and getting ready to go shopping. Yet a majority of the U.S. population is doing this. What's wrong with these people? And, don't tell me it's insomnia.

I used to work in the retail industry and dreaded Black Friday. To me it was the equivalent of going to visit the relatives you hated. It was something you had to do, but while your there, you hope each person catches leprosy or in today's age swine flu. Having to say, "Hi, how are you doing ? Can, I help you find anything?" at five a.m. is not only cruel and unusual punishment in my opinion; it makes me wonder if getting caned is really all that bad.

Despite my contempt for these shoppers looking for great deals on flat-screen televisions, digital camcorders, and Ed Hardy t-shirts; I have to admit the savings do add up. Personally, I could do without the Ed Hardy shirts. Note, to all you thirty or forty somethings rocking these tee's; it makes you look ridiculous and compete with the NBC peacock for best outfit. Not cool.

With Black Friday looming very closely, I am grateful that I don't have to participate as either a worker and shopper. After all waking up and resembling that old Mervny's commercial of standing in front of the window saying "Open, Open" is not only absurd, but can perceive you as insane. Trust me, the retail workers are thinking that.

Costco, I Love This Place !!

2009-11-22T16:23:00.000-08:00

I may never need a gallon of mayonnaise, two pounds of cream cheese, three liters of vinegar, or four dozen eggs at the same time, but if I did, I sure as hell would want to be prepared. And, where would I go to satisfy such a behemoth order? Why, Costco of course. I just realized that the previous sentence, I wrote started to sound like the Christmas song, "The Twelve Day's Of Christmas." This was not an intention, by the way.

The feeling you immediately get when you enter this haven, is like you've stumbled upon a treasure or the equivalent of finding loose change underneath your sofa. Where have you been all my life? As you walk the aisles gazing at the items, and contemplating....Hmm, I drink one Vitamin water a day, perhaps it would be cheaper to buy the twenty four pack. And, it is. Next, your wondering if buying a two pound bag of tortilla chips, along with the gallon canister of nacho cheese sauce would save you money in the long run. After all, one can never have enough nachos, while watching sporting events. Speaking of which, I wonder how much I could save by buying jalapenos in bulk?

As you finish wandering the store and picking up all the essentials, your first reaction is perplexing. Do I really need three bottles of relish, a vessel of Quaker State motor oil, two racks of ribs, and a twenty four pack of Newcastle beer? Yes, Yes you do. How else would you survive that Yosemite camping trip, you have been planning all year long. Think of the money, your saving in the long run.

God bless the person who brought Costco to the masses. Who knew that buying in bulk, would not only satisfy a person's wallet, appetite, and "coolness" factor? After all, where else could you go to sample the newest trend in quiches.

Walking At Night in Salinas, CA: Brave But Stupid

2009-11-20T18:42:00.000-08:00

I just got home after walking to Blockbuster to rent a DVD. I rented the Goods and look forward to watching it, after I finish typing up this blog. You're probably wondering why, I walked at night in a city that has a higher homicide rate for it's population than San Francisco or Seattle, and the reasons are that I was extremely buzzed and "courageous." Albeit the second reason, probably had a lot to do with first.

As I was walking listening to my IPod Shuffle (I know I'm not cool like you IPhone users) and swaying side to side, I started thinking about this Twilight: New Moon craze. With the movie being released in theaters today, would I encounter crazy, rabid fans cheering on Team Edward or Team Jacob. Or worse, would I get shot at for picking Team "I don't give a flying fuck." Luckily, I didn't experience any of the three and was safe on my journey.

Before I reached my destination, I entered The Northridge Mall. I only did this to warm up. Just because I was inebriated while walking, doesn't mean I don't feel gelid. Eskimos may live in a tundra climate, but that doesn't mean they sleep naked in their igloos. If they did, talk about "blue balls" for the males. When I finished trekking thru the mall I finally arrived at Blockbuster.
After picking out my movie, I started on my peregrination home. As I was walking carrying this DVD, I was stopped by bums asking me for loose change. I said, "No." They then replied with, "Okay." But were soon following me. I felt scared and then started running. Nothing gets the blood pumping, like being pursued by vagrant's. I think I just invented a new motive in the fight against weight loss, despite it's danger factor. When I finally arrived home after fleeing these rovers; I felt good that I had exercised, saved the environment by not emitting carbons, but most of all that I wasn't a body outlined in chalk.

Despite my near possible mugging or worse, I would probably do it again. After all somebody has to stand up and it's an exciting way to burn calories.

Diet Trends & Tips: When Will People Learn?

2009-11-19T18:34:00.000-08:00

With the upcoming holiday season rapidly approaching, people are scrambling about to find or figure out the newest and latest diet to shed those unwanted pounds. Where are you Richard Simmons, and your sweating to the Oldies VHS tapes?

I've never subscribed or bought into any of these diet trends. Why? Because all they promise is false advertising along with illusions of attaining a flat sexy stomach. How many people do you know that can live off eating bacon and pork rinds for a month straight, without needing Fiber lax to ease their constipation and gout? If you do, I bet they don't look like David Beck ham advertising Gucci banana hammocks on a billboard. By the way, I'm not gay. Just a fan of popular culture. Yet this fascination, with buying into the latest diet trend is more appealing than females purchasing UGG boots. What gives?

Just yesterday at my job, I overheard a female co-worker say, "I'm thinking about trying the "liquid fruit diet" to lose weight." Isn't that just called a fruit smoothie or am I out of the loop? Despite the inclination for overweight people to acquire the "perfect physical physique"; they need to be well informed that what it takes is: hard work, dedication, perseverance, and persistence. Not lies, that tell them they will lose pounds by eating a rack of lamb or just drinking coffee like an Olsen twin. Exposing your ribcage, while your alive, for all to gaze at is not attractive, but in fact something Ripley's Believe It- Or- Not would be interested in. Not good.

I hope that the many people who struggle with weight loss realize that, the way to shed those pounds is thru sweat, and eating a balanced diet. After all, Jared the spokesperson for Subway didn't put up his former, "Asia" size pants for nothing.

Soap Opera's and Telenovelas: Only You Can Save These Dreadful Shows

2009-11-17T18:53:00.000-08:00

There's a crisis in television land going on both in the United States and in Mexico. What is it you ask? It's the sinking ratings in daytime television viewership. The classic American program General Hospital and it's Mexican counterpart Mas Sabe El Diablo (The Devil Knows More) need your help more than a Biggest Loser contestant.

One would think that with the American recession laying off people faster than a failed CW television show (The Beautiful Life), people would use viewing the boob tube as escapism. But, instead the unemployed are out job searching; which is ironic considering that landing a good paying job is the equivalent of winning the lottery. Few and far between. Mexico's economy is suffering as well. Sales in Marinela pastries have been down and this leads to job losses, which in turn leads to more people getting the pink slip. What do we do with all the Gansitos?

Sales revenue in commercials both in the USA and in Mexico has been dismal, as less and less people watch daytime television. Who will pay the salaries of such distinguished thespians as: Maurice Bernard, Anthony Geary, Steve Burton, and Susan Lucci. By the way, I don't know who these performers are, I just Googled soap opera actors to use names in this blog. The famous Mexican telenovelas star's, such as Reynaldo Gianeccini, Lino Martoni, and Manolo Cardona also need your support. Pesos, after all don't fall from the sky. And, yes once again, I Googled. I wish invented that search engine.

But there's hope for this dying medium. Fear not stay at home moms, the unemployed, and late night Denny server's. Soap operas are luring big time Hollywood actors. James Franco of Spider Man fame and Pineapple Express has signed on for an extended guest appearance on General Hospital. Personally, I think it's entertainment suicide. And, in Mexico the famous commercial model Carla Abellena signed on to play a damsel in distress in a telenovela. Please don't ask me who she is.

In conclusion, please watch these awful shows, and keep the dream alive for the people who desperately want to win a daytime Emmy.

Car Repairs: There's A Reason We Pay The Grease Monkey's.

2009-11-15T14:55:00.000-08:00

When I woke up, I had a craving for a McDonald's Mcgriddle. I know that this greasy, poisonous, and fattening so-called sustenance for food would not be good for my health, but I didn't care. That whole-wheat muffin staring me in the face could suck it. Along with the Total cereal that had been aging in the bottom shelf. So I decided I would go to Mickey D's and buy it. But, there was a problem when I got into my car and turned the engine on. It wouldn't start.

I wondered what the problem could be and opened the hood to look at the engine. I only did this because I figure this is what people normally do to diagnose mechanical problems. The truth is that I have as much engine expertise as Rush Limbaugh being an NFL owner. Which is none. In spite of my uneducated problem of how to fix a car conundrum, I somehow figured out that the car battery was the source of my dilemma. Something tells me that I will never achieve my dream at working at Oil Can Henry's. Well, maybe I will, but if I do, I know that I will be handing out the USA TODAY newspapers as people wait to get their oil changed.

I then told my dad about the car query and he said, "Come on Let's go to Firestone." I then said, "All right." After we jumped started my car, we arrived at Firestone and my dad bought a new car battery. The sales manager tried coercing us into having his crew install the battery, but we decided that having ourselves do it, would not only be cheaper but give us some father/son bonding time. It turns out that this bonding time is the exact opposite from what you picture in a Norman Rockwell painting. It's more like Sanford & Son, with my dad referring to me as "Hey Dummy."

An hour later we finally installed the new car battery and got it running. Despite my dad criticizing me on my lack of car knowledge, I would still do it again. Maybe, I should learn more about how cars operate and perhaps this would keen my interest in AUTO ZONE and diminish my mockery of Nascar. Perhaps.

Around The Holidays, Everyone Needs Money

2009-11-14T17:39:00.000-08:00

I may have two pretty awesome jobs, but I could still use some more money. As does everybody else. This has lead me to consider getting a third job, yet I don't know if I could handle working seven days a week. I mean after all; when would I sleep, write in this blog, exercise, and last but certainly not least "release tension."

After contemplating this agonizing quandary for many days, I came to the conclusion that maybe I could donate some liquid life. I am healthy, ridiculously good looking, very funny, and far more intelligent than balloon boy's parents. There should be law that you cannot name a child after bird parts, types of fabric, and any type of food. I pray that I will not hear on the radio, or watch on television, or read on the Internet; the full name: Talon Cotton Cracker. But, alas I probably will. Regardless of the unfortunate parenting skills of the Colorado crazies, I feel that any woman would be lucky to be the incubator of future little "Pablo's."

I've been scouring the search engines for the nearest sperm bank within my residency, and to my surprise the nearest one is in Berkeley, CA. I find it ironic that the closest place to make an infertile couple achieve their dreams of fulfilling a family is where protests were held, marijuana is sacred, and abortions are considered a necessity. What's next, singing " We Are The World" and hoping that the Arctic stops melting and Lou Dobbs doesn't hate illegal immigrants. Fat chance.

Despite my apprehension at donating my love nectar to a place that is notorious for loving President Obama. I'll admit I do too; he's better than the former. At least this dude can read, write, and speak proficiently in English. I still want to make a couple attain the realization of seeing a little human be their own. Even if it has ears that stick out like Dumbo.

Perhaps this week, I will fill out the the application process and see where it goes from there. After all getting paid to look at porn and rub one out, sure beats (no pun in tented) dressing in a sandwich board and spinning a Little Caesar's pizza sign.

Thanksgiving: The Day Gluttony Is Not A Sin But A Virtue.

2009-11-07T14:35:00.000-08:00

Normally I try to eat balanced meals and not to overindulge myself, but come every Thanks giving; I eat like Micheal Phelps training in an Olympic year. The only difference is that the seven thousand calories, I just ingested are in hibernation turning into the equivalent of whale blubber, while Mr. "Eight Gold Medals in A Single Olympics" is using it as fuel for the six hours of swimming he will do in a single practice. Showoff.

Thanksgiving at the patriarch of the Kutter household is eventful to say the least. The morning is hectic with the echoes of my mom and dad arguing who should use the blender first and what kind of salad dressing tastes better as both as a dressing and appetizer dipper. Since I was up, I suggested they use Blue Cheese. This sauce adds flavor to any salad and is great as a dipper against fresh carrots. My parents then looked at me and then at each other and agreed. The next dilemma was whether one pumpkin pie was sufficient enough, or should they get another. My mom then comes to the conclusion that one is enough considering, that only the nucleus of our family will eat it. After putting the turkey in the oven and letting that beautiful bird roast in it's juices; we get ready to watch the Detroit Lions lose against whichever football team they play against. Do the Lions like being associated with losing on "turkey day" the same way that Charlie Brown is identified with never being able to kick that football? I will never know.

A couple of hours later the the turkey is cooked and all the sides are prepared for a bountiful Thanksgiving. With all this food in abundance, I feel very fortunate knowing that my stomach will be having a gastronomical orgasm. Yet, I cannot shake this nagging voice inside me that knows that millions of homeless people will have hunger pains tonight and many more will starve to death. Despite my soul searching, I cannot let this diminish my appetite. After all this bird died to satisfy the cravings of individuals, and to make delicious midnight turkey sandwiches to stoned out people.

When I'm finished gorging out, I drag myself to a couch to lay down like a walrus and let the digestion take it's effect. Hearing your stomach churn and knowing that what I just ate in calorie intake could have fed two small Ethiopian children does not make feel any better, in fact it makes me feel like fat bastard from Austin Powers 2. Damn you Mike Myers.

Perhaps this Thanksgiving, I will not use my stomach as an empty abyss to satisfy "my cravings" but instead utilize it as a means to help those less fortunate for me.

Halloween: Freaks, Weirdos, & Outcasts Unite

2009-10-11T13:13:00.000-07:00

I've never really been a big fan of Halloween. Sure, when I was younger I used to like going door-to-door saying, "Trick or Treat," but as I got older I couldn't do this anymore. It comes off across as creepy and almost stalker like. What was I supposed to do? So, instead I just stayed home and passed out candy. I was now the one commenting on little kid's costumes and passing out candy. The roles had been reversed.

After many years of doing this I decided things needed to change. I was not content on staying home when their was parties to attend too. But, there was a catch: I didn't like dressing up in a costume. I always feel ridiculous putting on clothing that makes me look like I should be in the circus or Pee Wee's playhouse. Nevertheless I obliged by the rules. My next dilemma was what I should dress up as; should I be a vampire, ghost, ninja, used car salesman, or Bullwinkle. I chose none of the above and went as Willy Wonka. Gene Wilder to be exact. The Johnny Depp version came off as pedophile in the making. I didn't want people getting the impression that I was going to be on To Catch A Predator.

So, I found a purple blazer (woman's to be exact) and wore that. Don't judge me. On this day your allowed to put on anything you want. I made a big Mad Hatter's hat, but instead it came out looking like the hat, the lead singer of the Four Non Blonde's used to wear. What happened to that band and Soul Asylum? To complete my ensemble all I needed was a cane, and luckily my grandfather had left his here. I was set. Well not exactly, I didn't have an Oompa Loompa as my sidekick. Where's Wee Man when you need him? And, I didn't have enough time to check on Craigslist to see if any little people would like to sing, "Oompa Loompa doompadee doo I've got another puzzle for you. Oompa Loompa doompadah dee If you are wise you'll listen to me." That would have been awesome.

After I got dressed, I looked at myself in the mirror and was thinking man; you could totally sell chocolate bars for a living. I then got into my car and headed off to the party. While I was driving I was thinking, please don't trip over this cane. I was also thinking, maybe I should have dressed up as a pirate. Wearing an eye patch would have been cool and probably have gotten me a lot of sympathy. But, finding a parrot and saying Arr..... would have taken to much work and I'm lazy.

Ten minutes later I arrived at the party and was astonished at the remarks, I heard from people. I was like the belle of the ball, only a male instead. That didn't come out right. I heard, "Wow, cool costume. Did you make that? Totally awesome you came as Willy Wonka." I said, "Hell yeah I made it." But, alas all good things must come to an end. And, soon enough like Cinderella I had to disappear. I was getting tired and wanted to put on regular clothes, while I watched old Nick at Night reruns.

I have yet to decide what I'll be for Halloween this year, but I'm thinking of going as Bernie Madoff. Fingers crossed, I don't kicked out and have a lawsuit pending.

Paris Hilton: Now, What Exactly Is She Famous For?

2009-10-10T16:34:00.000-07:00

I love a good celebrity sex tape. I've seen the Pamela Anderson & Tommy Lee tape many times. Who knew a white rocker could give big black men a run for the money in the "hung" department? So when Paris Hilton's sex tape came out (no pun in tented) involving former flame Rick Solomon; I was more than excited to see how an heiress does the "forbidden dance." The title alone was hook, line, and sinker for me. One night in Paris. Genius. Boy, was I disappointed. It's like watching the Blair Witch Project only a dumb blond in her bra is controlling the camera. Boo!!

After viewing this train wreck of an "erotic pleasure;" I thought that this would be the last I would hear of this rich bitch. Instead this tape made her more famous than Phil Spector's hair during his murder trial. Who knew? Soon enough network television came a calling, wanting Paris Hilton to star in some kind of reality show. And thus, The Simple Life was born. But, of course it was on FOX because that network has no shame. That network would put Stevie Wonder in a hit the pinata contest, and document a little person's desire to be an Olympic hurdler if they could. To aide Ms. Hilton in her adventures, they added her best friend forever (in actually it was best friend for the moment) Nichole Richie. This show only lasted a couple of seasons. Thank God.

But oh no, Paris Hilton was not going to be thrown away like a dirty diaper. She was determined to make a name for herself in Tinsel Town. After all if Rodney Dangerfield could be known for coming up with a saying; "I get no respect." This should have been Paris Hilton's motto. The hotel heiress could also invent a catch phrase the masses would eat up. What was it? Her famous phrase was (drum roll please) "That's hot." Are you serious? This is how your going to judge everything in life. By deciding if it's hot. What if your talking about an igloo or Mr. Freeze from Batman? Or what if it's just room temperature?

Sooner than later the Paris backlash began. The media along with myself was fed up with a "celebrity" hogging all the spotlight. You can only call something hot long enough, before people tell you to shut the fuck up. Instead say what normal people call something astounding: "That's cool. Or, Wow." My how the rich and powerful have fallen. With Paris's ego and career taking a nose dive worse than Hugh Grant's "encounter" with a Jane Doe prostitute; where was a rich hotel beneficiary supposed to land? Why a famous Carl's Jr commercial promoting the new six dollar burger of course. If Brad Pitt dressed as a chicken to promote Pollo Loco could rise like a phoenix, then certainly having the chick from The Simple Life promoting a signature sandwich would help. Right? Nope, instead this made her seem like more of a slut and question her sanity. After this fiasco she retreated the spotlight. Wise choice.

I don't know what Paris Hilton's talent is. But, I do know that acting, being a spokesperson for a national fast food chain, or coming up with a catchphrase is not one of them. If Paris Hilton is reading this, how about you use your wealth to become a producer on a feature film. You would get all the credit and save us the agony of having to hear you speak.

Garage Sales: Why do people purchase used crap?

2009-10-09T16:50:00.000-07:00

About once every three months my mom has a garage sale. I understand the need for it; to get rid of the clutter around the house that collects dust, and maybe make a profit of it. But, what I don't understand is why people purchase it. I guess the old proverb of one man's trash is another man's treasure holds true.

When my mom does set-up her garage sale; the usual trinkets of old clothes, shoes, lamps, rusted furniture, and brass candle stick holders are being sold. For the most part this crap is rarely sold, but sometimes she sells used shoes. Personally, I find it disgusting buying other people's used footwear. How do you know, you haven't also bought the athlete's foot it came with? Or worse, gang green. If I were to buy used Puma's, Nike's, or pumps (which I wouldn't), I would ask if they can throw in some tough ac tin Tanactin. But occasionally there happens to be some "valuable" commodity such as a refrigerator that still works. This item is always the first one bought up.

For the most part the "customers" who shop my mom's garage sale's are poor and destitute. They are dressed in ragged clothes and always want to haggle on everything. As if getting twenty five cent's knocked off from a corroded lamp, along with used Levi jeans, makes you an expert in negotiating. The asking price for everything was a dollar. But, my mom always gives in. Sold, for a whopping seventy five cents. Oh, and be safe plugging that lamp in. Have a good day. She probably does this because she has a good, kind heart, but personally I think it's because she wants to get rid of this junk.

Perhaps, when I have a house of my own, I will understand the necessity of a garage sale. But until then I will contemplate why Goodwill doesn't feel threatened.

The Ladies of the View: Grade A Cougars!!

2009-10-08T12:55:00.000-07:00

I've always been attracted to older women. There's something about their outlook on life that is appealing to me. The way that they speak of the good old days is fascinating to me. I want to know what it felt like to attend college during the Vietnam War. Or, maybe I just like them because I could probably get a good discount when I eat at the Sizzler. Who knows?

When I watch the View ( yes I like that show) I always smile and wonder what it would be like to bang these ladies. I think that would be quite an accomplishment. First I would start off with Whoppey. Her dreadlocks would be a jungle of exotic beauty. I picture myself pumping away and thinking man, I hope I'm better than Ted Danson or Frank Langella. Because if not my ego would take a big hit. I would also be wondering if banging a nun is call for excommunication. Next would be Joy Behar. In order to woo her, I would probably have to like Woody Allen movies a lot. And I don't. But after, I lied about how much Annie Hall is one of the greatest films of all time. She would be mine. But for some reason after doing it with her, I think she would offer me Oval tine. Sherri Shepard would be awesome and would probably involve watching a lot of Denzel Washington films. Saying, "KING KONG HAS GOT NOTHING ON ME" would be weird to say the least. Lastly Elizabeth Hasselback would be cool, but I picture that after we do it she would want to cuddle. And then talk about how great and courageous Sarah Palin is. Really? Oh, and she would also probably ask if I'm into scrap booking and knitting. My reply would be nope; writing, drinking, and cow tipping is what I'm all about.

But the ultimate trophy cougar of the View is former co-host Meredith Viera. Why is she with a cripple? If I got to bang her, I would definitely light a cigarette afterwards and I don't even smoke. I would probably ask her, why her legs are not sponsored by Nair. Have you seen them? They are spectacular and could probably give Tina Turner's legs a run for the money.

I know this will never happen, but I can dream. Hopefully one day I will be famous enough to be a guest and tell them how hot they are. Fingers crossed that they don't start wearing dentures when that day happens.

Hate and Love: Hating takes a lot of Energy, While Love is Effortless

2009-09-30T21:20:00.001-07:00

For a long time, I was bitter at the world. I resented it and everything it had to encompass. The reason was because of my turmoil as a youth. Being ridiculed and tormented changes one outlook on the world. It went from ray's of sunshine; to dark, dreary, ominous clouds. But now, all I choose to feel is like rain in the Amazon Jungle. A necessity and exotic entity, but still living with the realities that life has to offer.

Life is unfair and that should be the first life lesson every newborn should know and learn. I only argue this because it's the truth. I think it's more cruel to lead a child, thinking that a maid serving you, everything on a silver platter; with a pot-luck of choices to pick from, is a rite of passage. That's delusional and cruel in my opinion. But, alas I'm a victim and hypocrite of my own advise. My parents spoiled me for a long time and I felt like it was my "right" to be selfish, needy, and insensitive to everyone around me. I viewed the world as my oyster and I was going to shuck it. No matter the cost or damage, I did to the very people who loved me the most. And, I paid the price.

I alienated and ostracized a lot of people. No longer did people want to hang out with me and my demands. My selfish acts were growing tiresome and childish. My parents were beginning to harbor contempt at me, and I believe from time to time, were wondering at what they had created. But, they never failed to overlook my faults and see the goodness that lay in me. Thank you Mom & Dad for sticking with me. I decided that changes needed to be made. Instead of thinking of me, myself, and I; I would think of her, him, and they.

This new approach has been working for me, for some time now. It has garnered me friendships, along with a better relationship with my parents. If you have a chip on your shoulder all the time, you are losing out on life. Ditch it and live life; with the idea that your here to bring joy, laughter, intelligence, but most of all love to others. It's never too late.

Fiesta Foods: It Has Everything

2009-09-29T16:37:00.000-07:00

Earlier today I went to change in my recyclables. There weren't that many, but I figured I could use the loose change to buy some chips; which I did.

As I'm driving to my usual spot, I started thinking about the Olympics. I don't know why I was thinking about this, but maybe it had to do with President Obama's planned visit to Denmark, Copenhagen to plead to have the 2016 Summer Games in his hometown of Chicago. Personally, I think having the Olympics back in the United States twenty years later after the 1996 Atlanta Games seems fitting. But that's for the IOC to decide, not me. After I had this thought, I then started thinking why Elmer Fudd and Yosemite Sam do not team up to catch that rascally rabbit? And, why is Wily Coyote is so hell bent on catching that damn roadrunner? Let it go already. I need to stop thinking so much about Saturday morning cartoons. To stop random thoughts going throughout my head, I inserted a CD from the band EVE 6. (Anyone remember them? They had a huge hit in 1998 called "Inside Out" and that's the last the public heard them.)

Ten minutes later I arrive at the recycling location, but drat it's closed. This is unusual because the old man who takes my aluminum cans, plastic bottles, and glass wine bottles is always here. Instead there's a cardboard sign marked with black lettering saying: Sorry closed today. Try Fiesta Foods down the way. I was a little irritated at having to drive to another place, but I needed to get rid of these items and get paid for it. I get in my car and head off.

Driving over to Fiesta Foods was a hassle because traffic was congested with the pre-school children getting out from the local elementary lyceum . A crossing guard kept stopping all the cars at once, and only letting one car go at a time. Needlessly to say it took me about half an hour to get to a location which was only three minutes away from the previous recycling place. But finally I arrived. I parked my car and took my valuables, separating each one in a different bin. The man who was working there kept talking on his cell phone and didn't pay attention to me, or the other patron who was there. I found it kind of rude, but let it go. After inspecting everything I offered he gave me a receipt worth a whopping $1.20. He told me to go cash it at Fiesta Foods.

I then started walking to Fiesta Foods and entered. I had never been inside here and was astonished at everything they had to offer. Oh sure, it had the usual supermarket fanfare, but the amenities they offered was what really stood out. There was a restaurant/juice bar/deli counter to the right of me upon entering. Along with that, in the front was a desk that sold insurance. Frank Lopez insurance was the name of the business and there was a single, old lady being helped by assume Frank himself. Seriously, you could buy home, auto, and life insurance as your shopping for tortillas. Speaking of which, there was also a specific tortilla section where you could buy freshly made one's. I'm not kidding. If they offered to do tune-ups or oil changes on your car, then this place would literally be a one stop shop.

As my mind is trying to grapple with all the services this establishment offers, I remembered why I was here: to cash in this receipt. Suddenly a cashier points to me and says, "Ready?" I nodded my head and smiled. I walk over and she asks me, "How, are you doing today?" I say, "Good, how about yourself?" She says, "Fine, thanks for asking." I then said, "Wow you have everything. I've never been here before. It's like a Mexican Costco." She then laughs and says, "Thanks, come back again," and hands me the $1.20. I then leave with a big smile on my face.

I'm really glad I went to this place and would tell anyone who wants to buy either fresh tortillas or need insurance to shop at Fiesta Foods. Wal-Mart and Costco watch out because you have competition with excellent customer service.

National Parks: Truly Awe Inspring

2009-09-28T21:31:00.000-07:00

This week is the premier of the new Ken Burn's documentary film about the National Park system. I have only seen bits and clips of it, but the cinematography is galvanizing to say the least. Wide angle shots of the Grand Canyon, along with overhead shots of Crater Lake located in Oregon make me realize how grandiose and powerful nature is.

I have been very fortunate to have seen the above named National Parks. There is nothing like standing above a cliff and peering out into the great wide chasm; that is the Grand Canyon and marveling at it's scenery. Looking below it, and seeing the Colorado river cut across it makes you feel incredible and will probably bring a sensation of vertigo at the same time. It's amazing to see.

I saw Crater Lake many years ago, but still remember how spectacular this body of water is. It's huge and is surrounded by a lush forest. The people who make nature postcard pictures, have wet dreams about this place. No offense Grand Canyon, your awesome too. But, what makes this place so special and serene is the fact that it's one of deepest freshwater lakes in the world. The middle of the lake measures close to a mile deep. Most of the lakes I've been to have bottoms which are visible to the naked eye, but not this one.

If you have not visited a National Park, I encourage you to do so. The sheer sight of seeing something that nature created for you to stare at is something wonderful, and brings humility to yourself. It makes you realize how special life is and appreciate it even more.

The Simpsons

2009-09-27T20:43:00.000-07:00

I just finished watching the 20th season premier of the Simpson's. Twenty years on the air; holy shit that's amazing. If that's not testimony to how good and relevant this show is, then I don't know what is. And, what's even more astounding is the fact that it's fucking animation. Sorry for cursing, but all the prime-time networks could learn something about this show and it's on FOX.

I've come to the conclusion that FOX creates genius programming: 24, Simpson's, That 70's Show, Arrested Development, House, and X-Files. (Anyone remember that show?) Or, god-awful putrid, gut-wrenching, horrendous programing such as: Man vs Beast, The Princes of Malibu, Skin, Back To You, Hole in The Wall, and Fastlane. (That show sucked ASS!!) But, why has a show about a yellow drawn family become such an entity in pop culture? The reason is because of the writing and criticism surrounding the world we live in. They incorporate humor in ways that allow all age groups to join in. This TV show shunned away the stereotype that this is an adults only program. In fact the writers want family's to gather together and enjoy this with one another. That takes talent and is not easy. Very few program's have the capability to do this. The only other one I can think of is ER and that was a drama. Although bit's of humor was thrown in there.

Despite that some of the Simpson's seasons have been less than spectacular; this does not diminish their great contribution to the pantheon of television. Without them, we wouldn't use D'oh as a form of frustration, or say "Worst"... followed with whatever criticism we had, and thinking that prank calling a local tavern asking is: Seymour Butt's there? It is hilarious and I've thought about doing it.

I know that this ground-breaking television show about a dysfunctional family and their quirky neighbors will end sooner than later, but it will be a sad event. No other TV program has had the audacity and tenacity to tackle issues that were controversial from: illegal immigration, to gay marriage, religion vs evolution, and finally pot smoking with such humor and candor. This show pointed out the hypocrisies, ironies, and tactics that society used to generate for and against support for these issues, all while remaining impartial. Very rarely have television programs been able to do this effectively. And, I doubt any other program will be able to do it with the brilliance of the Simpson's. Until then, I will be devoted and watch each new episode with the giddiness of a ten year old. As Mr. Burn's would say, Excellent.

Boxing: I'm Jealous I Can't Punch People Like That

2009-09-26T19:34:00.000-07:00

As I'm writing this blog entry right now; I'm watching the rerun of the Floyd Mayweather and Juan Manuel Marquez fight on HBO. Even though I already know the outcome of the fight, I still want to see Mayweather beat the crap out of Marquez. And so far Mayweather is doing an excellent job at winning this fight.

In my younger days I used to get picked on a lot. I was tormented for being a dork who wore coke bottle glasses along with high water pants. There were many times were a wedgie or noogie was performed on me. I tried very hard to not show that it bothered me, but inside it really did. In my mind I was angry at myself for not being able to stand up to these bully's; I was sad at myself for allowing them to torment me, and I was somehow determined to try and make it stop. I thought about confronting them, but then I thought about the repercussions; the bully's would just laugh at me. Scratch that idea. The second idea I thought about was to just let them pick on me, and hope they would get tired. That idea went in one ear and out the other, because I would never gain any respect. My next thought was to use my humor to scorn them, but came to the conclusion that these idiots would be to stupid to understand that they are being insulted. My last deliberation was ludicrous and it involved taking boxing lessons. Seriously, this crossed my mind.

I pictured my self as a lean,mean,revenge-taking, bad ass machine. My nickname would have been, " El Gabacho con lentes." My punches would have been fast and swift. A hurricane of fists of fury hitting the bully's in the face. No longer would I be the victim of unannounced wedgies or have my lunch money taken in extortion; no I would stand up and be victorious. But this plan did not become a reality. I wanted to tell my parents about my desire to take boxing lessons, but then knew they would never allow this. Especially my mom who was very protective of her little boy. I have yet to meet a mother who wishes her son could learn how take a beating, and at the same time inflict one. I'm sure they do exist, but their probably the mothers of the bully's. After a while the bully's stopped picking on me and I was relieved, but inside I still wanted to know what it felt like to knock someone out.

Maybe in the near future I will taking boxing lessons just for fun. After all it could come in handy. And it would be cool to hear, "Eye of the Tiger" as I'm hitting the speed bag.

Gambling at Cache Creek Casino

2009-09-24T14:37:00.000-07:00

Yesterday my brother and I went gambling at an Indian casino. It's called Cache Creek and it's located on the outskirts of Woodland, CA. My brother suggested we go over there to try and win some money. Isn't that the whole purpose of gambling? At first I was reluctant to go because I had no money in the first place, but my brother coaxed me into going and off we went.

As were driving to this place I start filming the surrounding areas using my camcorder. I haven't used this device for a while due to it being broken. But a couple of days ago my brother fixed it and now it works. It turns out that the DVD recording part has a malfunction, but the part that uses a little micro chip still operates. This is good news. I only filmed about three minutes worth, because the little chip doesn't have that much juice left in it, and I can't afford a new one right now. After I was done I put away my camcorder and then started asking questions to my brother about this casino. I asked, "Have you been here before? If so what game have you played before? How much is the min um bet? And, What am I supposed to do? Because I don't have any money right now." He glanced at me and smiled. Then he turned his head towards the road and said, "Yes, I have been here before and it's awesome. Were gonna play a game called Casino War. Trust me it's easy money. In this game the min um bet is five dollars, but you need to gamble big in order to win big. And, don't worry man I got you covered. I'll lend you twenty dollars. I know you will pay me back later today." He then turned up the volume on the CD player and started singing along to Bink 182 and Lit.

Thirty five minutes later we arrive at our destination. We park my car and then get out. I start staring at this place and can't help wonder how isolated it is. This building is the only one for about ten miles in each direction: North, South, East & West. I guess it makes sense, because it would be hard for thieves to get away, if they were brazen enough to try and steal from a casino. As my brother and I are walking towards the front doors; I notice a big banner saying: WIN $999 EVERY HOUR!! I smile and I'm intrigued. We then open the doors and I'm in a whole new world to me.

There are bright lights everywhere. From the neon signs hanging above the rafters, to the bright lights illuminating all along the slot machines, and the restaurant insignias. In here everything wants to be noticed and being coy is unheard of. I also notice the pungent smell of cigarettes. Being in a casino I would except this, but nonetheless it starts to give me a headache. But I don't complain because I'm here to have fun and hopefully walk out with some money. My brother then says to me, "I need to go to the bathroom first." I nod my head and follow him in there. I needed to piss also. After were done, we head out on the floor looking for a game to play. I let my brother lead the way considering he was the expert and I was a novice at this. As were walking around I notice a lot of senior citizens. Every other table of black jack or slot machine we passed was full of geriatrics gambling away their social security, 401K, or both I assume. I was smiling upon seeing this. If this is how these people want to end their soon-to-be short lived lives then let them. After all, in this economy everything is a crap-shoot. Might as well go out hopefully winning big and leave something to the grandchildren. My brother then spots Casino War and says, "Let's go win some money!!"

We walk over and sit down. An Asian lady is our dealer and we smile. This game is exactly like war the card game; the only difference is that you have money riding on your bet. My brother then reaches into his pocket and hands the dealer a hundred dollars. She takes it and then inspects it. Handing over counterfeit money in a casino is a serious felony. It's like giving a key to an inmate in prison. You just don't do it. She scans it and comes to the conclusion it's legit. I wipe my forehead and then proceed to sit down. The dealer then hands my brother five dollar chips totaling one hundred dollars. He then hands me twenty dollars and says, "Here, bet with me. Trust me you will win." I look over at him and half-smile. My brother is one amazing sibling. The devotion he shows to me is something, I will never take for granted. I take the twenty dollars and hand them over to the dealer, and she gives me four casino chips.

As were about to lay down our bets, two other patrons join us at the table. One was an old Philippine lady and the other was a young Latino; who looked a lot like Daddy Yankee. (Remember him if you do?) They sat down and the dealer asked everybody, "Ready now?" The four of us looked at her and smiled. We placed our bets and since I only had four chips, I had to bet low. The other three bet four or five chips at one time. The dealer then hands out the cards, and suffice to say we all were winners. I was so excited. After about betting for ten minutes straight I had accumulated a little over one hundred sixty dollars. I was stoked. My brother had accumulated over three hundred dollars, but alas all good things must come to an end.

We should have walked out and cashed in our chips, but we deiced to push our luck as far as we can. This was a mistake for me, but not so much for my brother. I kept gambling away my one hundred sixty dollars I had made and lost fifty five dollars of it. I ended up with one hundred five. Actually eighty five dollars, after I paid my brother for loaning me twenty dollars. My brother on the other hand had only lost twenty dollars worth, but decided to cash in his winnings. He had won close to three hundred dollars. We then asked the dealer to change our chips and she obliged. After my brother payed her a tip, we walked over to the the change center.

I was so excited to walk away with with eighty five dollars and my brother was aroused at winning close to three hundred dollars. I said to my brother,"This was fun. Let's go now." He smiled and said, "Okay." But then the gambling bug bit him again and struck me also.

We walked over to the Casino War table again and tested our luck. This was not a good idea because I ended up losing all of the money I had gained. Ironically my brother was a having a hot streak winning over three hundred twenty dollars using thirty dollars of his previous winnings, but losing it all because his greed got in the way.(Note to self quit while your ahead.) I was devastated at this and wanted to vomit and cry, but didn't. My brother on the other hand took it in stride. He at least had walked out with over two hundred dollars in winnings. I was happy for him. We then walked out of the casino and headed back to his apartment. After saying my goodbyes I headed back to Salinas, CA and felt depressed at losing this money, but happy for experiencing this.

The next time I gamble hopefully, I will know when to quit while your ahead. Greed can be a tempting vice and will ruin you, if you cannot control it. But it's still very fun.

Florida: The Sunshine State Where Bizzare, Heinous, & Nefarious Crimes Occur

2009-09-21T17:10:00.000-07:00

I have never been to Florida and I don't think I'm missing out on anything. Despite having white sandy beaches, a tropical climate and gorgeous women dressed in little or no clothing; the deplorable crimes keep me away. It seems like every week I read about a vile violent crime occurring there.

I know that violence occurs everywhere in the world, but in Florida, repugnant crimes are the norm. Just yesterday I read online about the grisly murders of a wife and her five kids. They were hacked to pieces, with their limbs scattered throughout the house. The week before that, I read about a murder picking up hitchhikers along the road and slitting their throats, and then tossing the bodies into canals or ditches. Those are just the murder cases. Pedophilia also runs rampant among gator country. A couple of weeks ago I read about a father raping and impregnating his own ten year old daughter. Reading that made my stomach churn. I also read a story about another father pimping out his teenage daughter to support his drug addiction. What the hell is going on in this state? But despite all these abomination's being done by the scum of the earth; there is hope in one man: John Walsh.

The catalyst of his relentless pursuit of justice tragically occurred with the murder and decapitation of his own son named Adam in Florida. He would have been just a couple years older than me. Mr. Walsh's grief, agony, torment, and tremendous loss spurred a fire to bring criminals the justice they deserve. No longer were murders, rapists, child molesters, and any other degenerates allowed to maltreat innocent victims. Justice was about to reign on them and give "peace of mind" to the victims families. America's Most Wanted was born and knew it's purpose: to catch, incarcerate, and prosecute criminals. To date over a thousand criminals have been apprehended and hopefully a thousand more will also be behind bars.

Maybe Florida is not all doom and gloom, but until I start reading about positive things; this state contributes I will still stay away. Besides I can visit Hawaii to see beautiful women in bikinis and drink cocktails with little umbrella's inside.

The Emmy's

2009-09-19T20:31:00.000-07:00

This Sunday the Emmy's air. I probably will be watching to see who the winners are, but more than likely I will be switching channels or surfing the web. Probably doing both.

I usually don't watch this ceremony because I usually feel this is a cheap knock off from the Oscars.But lately I've had a change of heart. Lately I've been writing what, I could consider could be a funny, humorous, episode of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. And believe me it's not easy. Writer's block is real. It's not fake like mono. Come on the kissing disease. Watching what other writers consider is drollery is dreading. If there is one group that loathes seeing each other before a major event it's comedy writers. In my opinion there is no greater sin then stealing another comedians material. But unfortunately it does happen, without the public taking any notice. Take for example Carlos Mencia. That out-of-worker lowlife takes all of his material from George Lopez. Serves him right. Not cool at all. But I guess justice has been served for that hack; now that Mr. Mencia is jobless. Sucks to be you.

I hope that the best written shows come out on top during the telecast. And although I know that the acting is what drives a show to become either: a hit or a flop. It's the writing that determines whether every television show or film becomes a reality.

Cougars: Hopefully One Day I'm Their Prey

2009-09-16T22:42:00.000-07:00

I know that I'm almost thirty, but my handsome, rugged looks would indicate not a day over twenty four. Seriously, I've been told I look like Johnny Depp or Jim Carrey, and not Dumb & Dumber Jim Carrey. With these compliments in hand, I've thought about attaining the rare creature known as the "cougar."

My dilemma lies in where do I look for this,"endangered species?" Clubs could be an option, but I have a hard time picturing a single attractive lady in her thirties being there. Instead, I picture her at Save-Mart. She is looking at the best deal on frozen shrimp, and debating whether she should buy a Merlot or Pinot Noir. Personally, I would pick Merlot. It's good and doesn't have the"pompous attitude" that comes with saying you like Pinot Noir. To me, it seems like you have seen the film Sideways way to much. She then picks her after dinner dessert. Ice cream of course and heads to the front counter. I then would make my move by standing next in line to her. I picture myself browsing the magazines and hopefully making eye contact with her. We do and she smiles at me. I smile back and then would comment on her flavor of ice cream. I would also say, "That shrimp is my favorite food and I make a mean shrimp scampi. Bobby Flay has got nothing on me." Hopefully this would be a good ice breaker to not come off across as threatening or creepy. She laughs and then gives me her name. I say my name back and then would ask what she does for a living. She says I do so and so. I would smile back nodding and then say,"Well, I just remembered I have some more items to look for." Hopefully this would be the moment where she says, "Wait, let me give you my phone number. It was nice talking to you. Bye." Jackpot baby. She hands me a note with her digits and waves goodbye and gives me the call me signal using her hands. Oh I will.

I know that the chances of this scenario playing out in real life are slim to none, but nonetheless I would like to be prepared. After all we always prepare for earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, and swearing on network television. These are infrequent experiences, but they do happen. Maybe someday, I might meet a hot cougar while shopping for broccoli.

Fall & Winter: Seasons That Bring Contemplative Diorama's

2009-09-15T19:48:00.000-07:00

The year is three fourths done. Only three more months until the year 2010 approaches and the cycle begins again. Where does the time go? As fall is about to take it's position; I'm starting to examine who I am, what I stand for, and where do I go?

Most of my peers have finished their higher education criteria. Some are going onto graduate school to pursue degrees; that will help them in creative writing for screenplays. While one is hoping to become a famous playwright on Broadway, and a couple are hoping to move up on the totem pole of the health care industry. Upon hearing all the good news that everyone is hoping to come into realization; I can't help but feel a sense of melancholy coming over me. I know that I'm intelligent with a sense of humor any person would envy, but why do I feel sad on the inside? I was thinking maybe it could be jealousy, but it wasn't that. No it's because I feel inadequate around anybody who has achieved something marvelous. I haven't graduated college yet and I'm approaching thirty. Who am I ?

My friends along with my family are always trying to cheer up my mood and I appreciate their concern, but I feel like I have no identity or purpose in this life sometimes. I have no grandeur tales of visiting the Sahara or Europe. I haven't found a cure for cancer or written a column that is published nationally. Hell I'm not even married. My highlight is being nominated homecoming king for the winter ball circa spring 1998. By the way I didn't even win.

Despite all this retrospection, I know what I stand for. Humility, fairness, humor, and most of all love for one another is what I hope people will remember me bye. I want my casket to say,"Beloved son, friend, mentor, lover, and awesome blogger!!" I don't want my funeral to be a total saddened occasion, but a "fun" event where people are laughing reminiscing about the times they had with the great Pablo Kutter. Not, that I hope death is knocking on my door, but rather planning ahead for the unforeseen future.

Where I go, I don't know? I eventually want to go to back to school and attain my elusive degree. Sooner than later. Find a steady job, where I could find my love. Marry her and then start a family with offspring running around. The rat race as cliche as it sounds, is something I really want to be a participant of. I think having the titles of: employee, husband, but most of all father is what dreams are made of.

Love: I'd like to think that when you meet your significant other it's forever.

2009-09-15T15:48:00.000-07:00

Yesterday Patrick Swayze died. Upon hearing and reading this I was really saddened. His courageous fight with pancreatic cancer should remind, all of us what it truly means to be a warrior till the end. He lived life to the fullest and may his soul live in peace for all of eternity in a better place.

Earlier I was online searching his biography and found all the films and television shows he had made. From the miniseries North & South to his big break, as Johnny Castle opposite Jennifer Grey in Dirty Dancing.What happened to her? He illuminated the screen. I know that Dirty Dancing is a total chick flick, but it's one my guilty pleasures. After the success of Dirty Dancing his ultimate break came in the film Ghost. Call me bias, but I think this movie is the most heart-wrenching, beautiful love-story ever told. I always shed a tear when I watch this movie. His portrayal of Sam Wheat makes you cheer him on from the first scene. The love and devotion he shows to Demi More's character of Molly would make Shakespeare cry. I must also give out recognition to Whoopi Goldberg. She did after all win the best supporting actress Oscar. Good job.

Besides the tremendous acting and very emotional storyline; there are two key scenes that bring out the nucleus of tenderness, affection and undying benevolence that we all long for. First up is the scene where Molly is sitting alone at her pottery wheel. She can't come to grips with losing her love and thus is unable to finish her craft. She starts crying, but suddenly the ghost of Sam Wheat appears. The ghost looks at her with eyes that scream, "I'm hear my love. I've always been here." The ghost positions itself right behind Molly and she senses his presence. Her hands are suddenly able to finish her pottery craft while the Righteous Brothers song "Unchained Melody" starts playing. Simply Beautiful. The second scene is the last one, where Sam Wheat is on his way to heaven. His radiant spirit is glowing and he turns to Molly and says, "I love you Molly. I've always loved you. It's amazing. The love you have, you take it with you. " He walks away and the movie ends. If you don't shed a tear after seeing this, then I don't think you have a soul inside of you.

I hope that Patrick Swayze's real wife Lisa is able to cope with the tremendous loss she just had. I believe in my heart of hearts, he loved her from the moment they met until his last breath. I can only hope that when I meet the right woman for me; I'm able to experience, feel, and show the same paramour Patrick showed to his wife and the world.

Narcissism, Arrogance, & Stupidity: Kanye West has all three.

2009-09-14T15:26:00.000-07:00

Last night I watched the MTV Video Music Awards. Now, I know what your thinking: why were you watching MTV? Yes in my past blogs, I have scorned this network for repugnant programming, but my curiosity got the best of me. Besides I had earlier watched my two programs which was True Blood season two finale and another new episode of Entourage.

When the show began it was a very somber mood. Madonna walked on stage dressed very conservatively. She was wearing a nice dress and her hair was held up. Remember this is Madonna were talking about; she once dressed having cone shaped breasts and a latex body suit which she considered "wholesome." She was there to talk about her former friend: Michael Jackson. She talked about the memories they shared and how he changed the landscape of music forever, blazing a path that every musician at some point always follows. The genre doesn't matter. And despite his erratic behavior sometimes, Michael Jackson will and always be the King of Pop; his legacy will be preserved for all of eternity. The crowd then stands up and applause's.

After Madonna walked off stage, a moment of silence was observed. Then Russel Brand, a British comedian walked on stage. He was the master of ceremonies for tonight's celebration. He started telling jokes about his home country saying that not all British people have bad teeth. Just most of them. He then lambasted the media for claiming that Lady Ga Ga was a hermaphrodite. Who cares if she is or isn't was his point. He also wanted to have sex her and he admitted it live. The crowd laughed at this and Lady Ga Ga blushed. After Russel's monologue ended, it was time for the first award to be presented. Best female video.

Shakira was the presenter along with Taylor Lautner. From Twilight fame. He plays Jacob. Shakira and Taylor announce the nominees which were: Kelly Clarkson, Beyonce, Pink, Katy Perry, Taylor Swift, and Britney Spears. I assumed that Beyonce would win, but then came the saying of, "and the winner is Taylor Swift." I was stunned and happy for her at the same time. The camera's then point to an astounded Taylor Swift. Her mouth wide open; probably with a thought of Oh My God, really. She walked on stage and was greeted with a hug from Shakira who gave the microphone to her. Taylor Lautner also hugged her. Taylor Swift was beginning to say her acknowledgements, when who of all people should steal her thunder. The egomaniac, tirade hating, narcissistic: Kanye West. He grabs her microphone and says to the audience, "Congratulations Taylor, but Beyonce made one of the best videos ever. She should have won. They got it wrong." He then hands the microphone back to Taylor Swift, but it's to late because they need to cut to commercials. I think he was drunk and forgot that this is televised. Millions of people are witnessing your stupidity right now. I can't believe what I just saw. I always knew that Kanye West was a loose cannon, but to take the limelight away from a newbie on winning her very first VMA was seriously reprehensible. I can only imagine what his publicist is thinking. Probably the thought of getting a loaded gun and playing Russian Roulette, and "hopefully winning." No amount of spinning this story will excuse his behavior. I will never buy any of Kanye West's music anymore and I don't think I'm the only one.

After this debacle the show still had to go on. Other awards were presented and there were amazing performances. Muse was brilliant along with Jay-Z featuring Alicia Keys. But, the highlight of the evening was the presentation of Video Of The Year. I forgot the nominees, but I know that Beyonce won. This classy lady walks on stage and accepts her award. She begins her speech saying, "When I won my first VMA with Destiny's Child, I was seventeen. And so I would like for Taylor Swift to come on stage and finish her speech." Upon hearing this the crowd starts clapping immensely. I was thinking that Beyonce is really a good person for doing this. I wish there more people like her and less like Kanye West. Taylor Swift comes on stage to a roaring audience and gives her speech. After she finishes both ladies walk off stage, with the audience still clapping.

Twenty minutes later the show ends and I assume all the celebrities all went to the after parties. I can only hope that Kanye West was shunned from all of them. His obnoxious, unpalatable, and detestable act demonstrates why people have contempt for him. Grow up already man. Kanye West if your reading this, you still have a chance at redemption, but you need to make serious changes in your life.

Moving Day For Friends Of Mine

2009-09-12T19:27:00.000-07:00

Today was a big day for a couple of friends of mine. There names were David and his girlfriend named Bernadette. They had found an apartment in San Jose, CA which fit their budget, lifestyle, and commute to school/work. The only problem was that they needed helping hands to move all their belongings. That's where I came in. They asked me and my brother and we obliged.

David arrived at 10:00 a.m. sharp. He looked ready to move wearing shorts, a Nerve Agents t-shirt, a Giants baseball cap, and Skeechers shoes. My brother was also dressed ready to help move. He was wearing a Beatles t-shirt, old jeans, and Converse tennis shoes. I, on the other hand was the odd man out. I looked like I was hitting a night club instead. I was wearing a nice button down shirt with dark blue jeans, and nice shoes. I should have dressed better for the occasion. Oh well. We get into David's van and head off to Bernadette's mom's house.

Bernadette was also dressed ready for moving. Wearing shorts, a pull-over sweatshirt, and Puma tennis shoes she greets us with a smile. Apparently, I was the only one who didn't get the memo on how to dress for occasions, or I have bad judgement. Bernadette then points to the items we need to load up. They consisted of medium sized boxes holding personal items, plastic bins containing books, and DVDs. There was also two bags with kitchen utensils and spices. If you forget your salt and pepper, along with the paprika then your committing a grave sin in my opinion. As we finish putting the items in the van, an orange Garfield looking cat jumps inside and refuses to leave. This cat thinks that he's coming along for the ride and hisses every time we tell it to get out. After about a minute telling this feline to get out, it jumps out and scatters away. Finally. David shuts the back door and asks me, "Ready ?" I say,"Yes I am." And we head off, with Bernadette and my brother following along.

David and I first made a pit stop at a gas station for obvious reasons. David also bought a "new" Pepsi bottle; which I guess was a new formula because it was made with real sugar, instead of the corn syrup they usually sweeten it with. He says, "It tastes better, but nothing mind-bending." I nod my head like a preschool er and say,"That's cool." I rarely drink soda. Not because it tastes awful, but because I prefer water, juice or beer better. We then leave the gas station and get on the freeway headed to his new place. As David is driving we start talking about different bands and the impacts they made on other bands. We agree that the Beatles are the catalyst that launched people to join bands and make music. David then says, "I saw Paul McCartney perform live." I'm so jealous upon hearing this. "Really, Did he perform Yesterday?", was my reply. "No, but he did sing Hey Jude and hearing 15,000 people sing along to it was something special. Very, Very cool." David says. I then comment about the NASA space station. I ask, "Do you think astronauts up there have sex? Because, I think it would be awesome and weird without gravity holding us down. And what if you pulled out? Floating love nectar would be so unorthodox to say the least. Not to mention maybe damage the controls." David laughs at this and says, "Probably they have, although I don't know for sure." Forty five minutes later we arrive at his new location.

We get out of his van and stretch our legs. Being in a cramped van loaded with items makes you realize how important, and necessary it is to stretch your limbs. I feel bad for paraplegics, but then again they have lost that feeling anyway. David then says," We have to wait for Bernadette, because she has the key to the apartment." I say, "No problem." Five minutes later Bernadette and my brother arrive. David retrieves the key from Bernadette and we proceed to unload the items from his van. As I walk into his and Bernadette's new digs, I notice how quaint this place is. I think that this place would be cool to have a few close friends over and have DVD night, or game night served with cocktails. I tell my brother this and he agrees. We finish unloading, but David says, "I have to pick up my dad from Morgan Hill and then load the furniture locked in a storage unit using the U-Haul van I rented." The three of us nod our head and David takes off.

As the three of us are waiting David's call; inside Bernadette's new residency, we start talking about the unemployment rate. I say, "I wouldn't be surprised if it reaches double digits by the end of year." Even though I hate living back at home with my parents, I understand that I'm not the only one in in the United States of America who has to do this. Fingers crossed that sooner than later I will be independent again. The subject then changes to astrology. I say, "I don't believe in it entirely, but I don't think it's a coincidence on the analyse of the signs. I take it with a grain of salt." I'm a Capricorn and we tend to be stubborn headed and choosy when looking out for our significant other. Geminis, which my brother is tend to go with the flow and like to please everyone around them if they can, and Aries which Bernadette says she is tend to be opinionated and talkative. Bernadette's cell phone then rings and it's David. He asks us to meet him at the storage unit place.

Ten minutes later we arrive at the storage place. The location of this establishment is bizarre. It's underneath a highway overpass next to a 7-Eleven. I think to myself that this location would be perfect for serial killers to perform their heinous acts without getting caught. Not that I'm one of them by the way. David greets us with a smile along with his dad named Mark. His dad is awesome and has always encouraged us to do what makes us happy. He's also pretty funny. We load the furniture into the U-Haul and take off back to the apartment.

David and I were the first to arrive back at his place. He was driving the U-Haul vehicle and we proceed to unload his furniture. First up was his mattress, along with the bed frame that came along with it. Next, was a couple chest drawers that were no big deal. But then came the big task: his couch. Oh man I was dreading this moment. As were beginning to unload this mammoth sitting surface, my brother along with David's dad pulls up and parks. They ask if they can help and we say, no we got it but guiding us along would be greatly appreciated. Mark is the coach telling us when and where to move this couch to enter the doorway, and with his words of wisdom we finally enter the apartment and put this beast down. I sit down immediately and want water. Bernadette then arrives and is ecstatic to see her place looking like a home. After finishing unloading everything from the U-Haul, David says "I'm hungry. Is anybody else? I was thinking about getting pizza to celebrate." Sounds good to us, and we all head off to Round Table pizza. David orders a large combo pizza and we devour it like hungry coyotes. All the while, were talking about different topics: from Scientology, (cult religion in my opinion), to why Arnold is a horrible governor, and how Mel Gibson is an Anti-Semitic drunk. By the way the taste of excellent pizza after a hard days work is orgasmic in my opinion. We finish our delicious meal and head back to David's and Bernadette's swanky apartment.

When we arrive, David and his dad instantaneously start working on his bed along with his kitchen table. Meanwhile my brother and I were lying down and relaxing. Bernadette was rummaging in her boxes. After about a half an hour David and his dad finish, and tells us where done. Thank god I think. Bernadette says, "Thank you Pablo and Daniel. I'm going to stay here tonight and finish up unpacking." My brother says, "Don't sweat it. We liked to help. It was our pleasure." My sentiments exactly. We say bye to Bernadette and get back into the cars and head off.

Before we could head back to Salinas, CA, David needed to drop off the U-Haul van he rented. But first was filling it with gas because that's part of the contract deal. David fills it it up and then heads over to the U-Haul station, and drops it off. His dad and my brother were waiting for us and we pile into his van. Let me say first that David's van does not have back seats because of the necessity to pile moving items in it. I understand this, but it's a hazard not to mention could result in a huge fine by the police. David's dad and I were in the back looking like we were being smuggled into the states, holding onto the seat belt straps like they were life preserver's. David was driving with my brother riding shot gun, when David says, "There's a cop behind us." Upon hearing this David's dad and I slide down to the ground laying down like a couple of corpses. I didn't know whether I was excited, terrified or both at this moment. The cop drives away and were in the clear. Soon enough we arrive back in Salinas CA. My brother and I getting dropped off saying bye to David and his dad.

I had an awesome experience helping my friend and his girlfriend move into their new mailing address, but part of me is sad knowing that another one of my peers has left the nest, while I'm still living in the garage my parents renovated.

Competitive Eating

2009-09-11T15:00:00.000-07:00

I've never been a a competitive eater and I think that's a gaping hole in my resume. Sure I've collected sensor tags from JCPenny's, sold Madonna tickets to gay guys from Ticketmaster, delivered Mountain Mike's pizza to stoned out hippies, served Olive Garden pasta dishes to whiny customers, told patrons where the closest bathroom was inside Marshall's, unloaded heavy packages from a 110 degree Fed-Ex truck, and made lattes for thirsty Triple AAA clients. But I have never tried to eat as many jalapeno poppers as I can in under a minute. I knew something was missing.

This has lead me to believe that the way to earn respect in this world is by gorging your stomach with huge amounts of food, while being timed and cheered on. These "athletes" have the stamina, will-power, and endurance that make would make any Olympian envious. They prepare, study and sweat during the competition. Granted it's probably meat sweats and heartburn, but they are still chasing the dream. I'm surprised that Tums, Alka-Seltzer, and Pepto-Bismol aren't sponsoring these events.

Every Fourth of July on Conney Island, New York, they hold a hot dog eating contest. The best of the best in competitive eating come to test their skills against one another, and expand their waistline. I can only imagine what their mental strategy is. Should I just shovel hot dog after hot dog, or should I take big bites with little rests in between? The dilemma they face is unrelenting. God Bless these Hero's. Right now my favorite competitive eater is a man named Joey Chestnut. His stomach is a fortified dungeon that devours any hot dog, that dare come near it's presence. He takes those wieners down-and-out faster than a Republican sex scandal. I think he's the reigning champ, but I'm not quite sure. If he is, let's hope he keeps the crown of Frankfurt eating conqueror.

I rather enjoy watching these people eat themselves silly, but the only thing I want to see change are the food items. How about they try things like Subway Sandwiches, or Hot Pockets.

Bloody Mary & The Ouija Board: Games I Refuse to Play

2009-09-10T21:22:00.000-07:00

I believe in the spirit world. Not the one that Hollywood creates where demons, monsters and other worldly creatures feed off humanity, and Keanu Reeves fights them off in the film Constantine. Terrible movie by the way. No, what I believe is the supernatural occurrences our five senses are unable to explain. The uninterpreted sightings, sounds, smells, touches, and tastes we dare want science and logic to elucidate but cannot.

Ten years ago I was partying at some friends house. We were drinking and doing other illicit activities, but nothing like smoking crack cocaine or having massive orgy's. There was about twenty of us and soon enough night came. We were buzzed and getting bored, and wanted something to liven up our moods. Someone suggested we play Bloody Mary. I asked, "What is this game?" And the response was astonishment with a little bit of snickering. This game is not played sociably, but rather by yourself. It involves going into a darkened bathroom with the door locked, and staring at the mirror. You then say Bloody Mary three times and supposedly a face appears drenched in blood with eyes that are as black as the night. My arm hairs are standing up as I'm typing this, and I'm getting the shivers. I said, "I'll try it." Everyone hooted and hollered Pablo, Pablo, Pablo. I walk into the bathroom close the door and shut the light. I wasn't scared or so I thought. I chanted the saying three times and something appeared in front of me that looked like the outline of a head. I then heard a noise that was similar to fingers being lightly tapped on a counter. I sat their motionless while being scared witless. My heartbeat was racing with a pulse that would make an obese person panic; thinking am I having a heart attack? In my mind I thought I was going to die. I immediately turned on the lights and exited the bathroom. The crowd booed me, but I didn't care. That was the first and last time I would ever play that game.

A couple years later I was invited to a social gathering to play the board game Ouija. At first I was skeptical and resistant to partake, but was convinced I would have a good time. I arrive drink a beer and look around. Seems normal to me, but it wasn't. We gather in the living room, and the host brings out the game and light four candles placing them at the corners of the room. She then turns off the lights, and says, "Right now where going to see if we can contact some spirits?" It was eerie and not in the ha ha kind of eerie, but the I'm gulping my saliva right now, and wish I hadn't come in the first place eerie. To late now. I'm thinking are we having a seance or an exorcism, or worse both? She then asks us to place our hands on the plancheete and then move it according to what we felt. We move it and the the first letter we get is G. The second letter we get is O. We then didn't feel anything moving in our hands for about ten minutes. But suddenly we sensed something and move to the letter N and then back to O, and finally W. Putting this acronym together we spelled GO NOW. I was frightened and left without delay. I took that message as a sign that this game is not something you play for fun. It has serious consequences.

I know that people will still engage in these activities; their curiosity getting the better of them. Disavowing any thoughts that the spirit world is true and discerning at what the living side is doing is harmless. I just won't do it anymore. I have seen and felt the aftermath and I never want to go back.

Lawyers: Saints & Sinners

2009-09-09T12:16:00.000-07:00

Recently a judge threw out a case involving me as the defendant. I'm only blogging about this now because the case is closed. This ordeal caused great commotion in my family and sometimes lead to infighting. Having everything my family saved and worked hard to achieve, suddenly be in jeopardy is disheartening to say the least. Your life is in chaos and theirs a black shadow lingering over you that doesn't go away.

The origin of this calamity took place a couple of years ago. I was working as a waiter at the Olive Garden. I had just gotten off and was driving home. As I was pulling into my driveway;I was rear ended by a woman. She was speeding and apparently didn't see me. I was livid at getting hit because, I knew that I had to contact the insurance company. This is dreadful because not only was I feeling that I was beleaguering the company, but my premiums would rise. There goes all my tips. I got out of my car, calmed myself down and walked to the woman's car. I signaled for her to roll down her window. But no suck luck. She looked at me once with a stare that came with repugnance. At that moment, I knew she could not be reasoned with and contacted the police. The police came and investigated the scene. They came to the conclusion that she was at fault. I was relieved to hear this news, but alas this was the beginning of my nightmare.

Two years later as I was reading Peter Traver's (film critic from Rolling Stone) movie review of Iron Man online; I heard a knock on the door. I was wondering who it could be and answered it. It was a man wearing a backwards baseball cap, blue jeans and an American Eagle shirt. He said, "Hi, Are you Pablo David Kutter?" I said, "Yes, I am." He then hands me some papers, says bye and takes off. I take a look at them and immediately want to chase that man and hit him with a two-by -four upside his head. It was a summons saying that I was being sued for in excess of 250,000 dollars by the same woman who had hit me two years earlier. My first reaction was disbelief, then anger. How could this woman sue me when she was at fault? Worse, who could be the ambulance chasing scumbag attorney taking on this frivolous occurrence? The idiosyncrasy of this woman made me realize that our legal system allows innocent people to be victims of unfair lawsuits.

I contacted my insurance company again, but this time not about an accident. Well, technically not about one recently I had. Fingers crossed I don't have one again. I told them about the dilemma I was having by being sued from this lunatic woman. They understood and put me in communication with a law firm based out of Sacramento, CA. It was called Owensby & Lemon. My lawyer was a male named Tracy Owensby. I was happy to be represented by the partner who's name is first in the business. He reviewed the case and told me interesting facts about the situation. For one this woman professed that I was part of a group that was hell bent on kidnapping her. She "claimed" that I purposely parked my car nearby, and when I saw her coming up, I swerved around trying to kidnap her for ransom. What? Mr. Owensby kept me in contact if any new details happened.

A year later after I had received that summons, Mr. Owensby called me and said that a trial date had been set. It was to take place in Monterrey, CA at 9:00 a.m. He advised me to wear a nice, but not flashy suit. Think conservative, but no so conservative as to looking like your on Fox News. I loathe that network. I told my parents and they came along for moral support. Thanks Mom and Dad. We arrive at the courtroom and I'm nervous because this is judgment day. I could be bankrupt for the rest of my life and destitute. Mr. Owensby eases my apprehension by suggesting I remain aplomb during this event. At 8:50 a.m. we walk into the courtroom and sit down. Mr. Owensby reassures me that we will win this case, and goes over play by play what will happen. At 9:00 a.m. the magistrate arrives and the bailiff says, "All rise." My breathing has suddenly gone from normal to rapid pace. This is really occurring. Meanwhile, the plaintiff has yet to arrive to her own court date. The judge grows impatient and looks at her watch. Mr. Owensby then says to the arbitrator, "Motion to dismiss the case, please. Based on the evidence that the plaintiff did not have courage enough to attend her own trial, we ask you to adjourn this proceeding." The next words I heard were a sonnet to my ears. "Case dismissed." Then the judge pounds her gavel. I want to hug her, but realize this would be improper. Instead I hug my parents and Mr. Owensby. We walk out of the courtroom feeling like we had just won the lottery, and want to celebrate. Mr. Owensby says, "It was nice meeting you Pablo and your family. Take care and please do not hesitate to call me if something should come up. Bye." I say, "No, problem. Thank you, Mr. Owensby for everything you have done." He leaves and my parents suggest we eat some breakfast at IHOP.

I have a new appreciation and empathy at what people go through while being sued. The agony, torture, and constant not knowing of what could happen is hell. I'm just glad that it's over for me and pray to God it never happens again.

The Library: The Best Things In Life Are Free

2009-09-08T14:39:00.000-07:00

Earlier in the day I had finished the book I had been reading. It was called, A Cooks Tour: Searching for the perfect meal. The author's name was celebrity renowned Chef Anthony Bourdain. I enjoyed it a lot, and wanted to see if they had any more books by him. The problem was that I didn't have a library card to check out anything. I attained this book by having my brother check it out under his name. Regardless, I needed to return the book back and wanted to see what other selections the library had to offer.

I drive over to the library, park my car and walk in. For a Tuesday afternoon, this place is pretty packed. I guess the dismal economy is making people want to read more, considering that job offers are few and far between. From my perspective it's a good sign; we will have less illiterate people tempted to join gangs, and more of the population will be well read and educated. As I'm scanning the non fiction aisles trying to remember where the cooking section was, I bump into a woman accidentally. I say, "I'm sorry. " She smiles and says, "It's okay." She walks away and low and behold, I'm in the cooking section. Maybe it was a sign. Who knows? I begin scanning around for Bourdain. The last names are how everything is alphabetized and categorized. No suck luck. They don't have any books by him at the moment.

I then try to think of other possible authors I would want to read. No ones comes to mind at the moment. As I'm walking along the fiction aisles, inspecting the titles I notice the author Hubert Selby Jr. This novelist wrote the book Requiem for a Dream, and it brings back memories from my youth. It was turned into a movie starring Jared Leto, Jennifer Connley, Ellen Burstyn, and Marlon Wayans. It was directed by Darren Arronosky, and is one of my favorite films of all time. Despise that the characters forge ahead into a downward spiral with the illusion, that drug dealing will be their salvation. I recommend reading it.

As I'm leaving the fiction section, I suddenly remember the television show on DVD I recently watched. Dexter, was the program and I recalled that it's based on the novels by Jeff Lindsay. I walked back to the fiction installment and peruse over the titles, hoping I would find his name. Jackpot baby. I found a title called, Dexter in the Dark and grab it before anybody else could. I walk over to the front counter and proceed to check out this book. But I'm nervous because I don't have a library card. I tell the librarian about how I am not a member, but would like to check out this book. No problem was his response and soon enough I'm a card carrying member, and check out the book. My due date is September 29th, 2009. That's enough time for me to finish this book. I walk out to my car and drive off. I'm really excited to read this novel.

If you want to hang out in a place for free and stimulate your mind then the library is for you. Who knows, you might meet someone with the same dysfunctional tastes you like. Try it out.

Jeopardy: I've always wanted to beat Alex Trebek

2009-09-07T21:52:00.000-07:00

I love trivia games. I think this stems from my youth and playing Trivial Pursuit on a constant basis. Useless questions that consisted of who was the famous person accompanying Jennifer Lopez at the 2000 Grammy's are fascinating to me. By the way it was David Duchovny. Agent Fox Mulder on the hit Fox series X-Files, if you didn't know. Or, now known as Hank Moody in the hit Showtime series, Californication.

I played against other people and would not receive the blue triangle, due to my ignorance in the science category. I didn't know that the brilliant paraplegic physics professor Stephan Hawking was credited with analyzing how black holes are made and destroyed. I do now. But, I did beat other people with a pulp in the television and film category's. I guess sitting in front of a television or movie screen has finally paid off for me. Score one for Pablo.

I then decided to test my new found knowledge against, the real competition: Jeopardy. I figured that if Rosie Perez's fictional character in the film White Men Can't Jump, could get on there by studying the competition so could I. I watched every night at 7:30, pacific standard time, for three months. I wanted to gauge the other opponents, and see how I would fair. I got most of the answers correct, but that could be attributed to the category's. When it came to anything concerning math and science, I might have as well been target practice for Dick Cheney. Despite this I wanted to sign up as a contestant.

I signed up using the website, but have yet to hear anything back. But, this does not detract me from hopefully one day going on stage and buzzing in on, saying "What is..." Alex Trebek saying, "Correct, pick another category please." Ken Jennings watch out, because maybe you have met your match.

Vampire Overload

2009-09-07T16:18:00.000-07:00

I love vampires and the stories that come with them. But right now I feel like were being bombarded by them like a tsunami. Every medium of communication from: literature, television, movies, Internet, and hell even radio is enamored with these fictional creatures.

In the early 1990's, the famous vampire novelist was Anne Rice. Anyone remember her? Well her book, Interview with the Vampire was a bestseller and went on to become a huge movie. The stars were Tom Cruise, (who was already a bona-fide celebrity) Brad Pitt (This movie made him a HUGE SEX SYMBOL with females everywhere, and probably with gay guys too.), Kristen Dunst, Antonio Banderas, and Christian Slater. Quentin Tarantino if your your reading this please resurrect Christian Slater's career from the grave just like you did with John Travolta and David Carradine. After the success of this film, Hollywood wanted more vampire themed movies. Some sucked, no pun in tented like Eddie Murphy's god-awful Vampire in Brooklyn. Some were mediocre like Dennis Miller's Bordello of Blood. And some were good with a self indulgent attitude that wanted nothing more than to entertain audiences. Like George Clooney's From Dusk till Dawn, and James Woods Vampires. Then all of a sudden the vampire genre died and went in the coffin. Again, no pun in tented.

The movie 30 Days of Night starring Josh Hartnett started the climb back for vampires, but it was an author who catapulted the genre back into the stratosphere. Stephanie Meyer's Twilight books brought back the vampire fascination fast and huge, like Jesus awakening Lazarus from the dead. Sorry for the puns I don't mean to. Only this time the twist on the vampire mythology was using Shakespearean metaphors. Two star crossed lovers who want each other and come from different families. One is a vampire named Edward Cullen with the Cullen clan, and the other is a radiant virgin named Bella, who is a human. I forgot her last name, but who cares. Can we say cliche? To be fair, I have not read these books, but only saw the movie. I might read them to judge it on the writing and not seem so bias.

With the success of Twilight, Hollywood again wanted to milk the vampire folklore for everything it's worth only on the television. HBO and awesome screen writer Alan Ball developed True Blood. I have to divulge, that I'm a huge fan of this show. Excellent acting, writing, editing, and cinematography. The twist on this show is that vampires are out of the closet. They are letting humans be known of their presence, and do not need to feed on their blood anymore with the advent of synthetic blood. Brilliant twist. But other networks caught on to this wild fire and are now trying the same thing. The CW is going to start airing the Vampire Diaries, which I'm skeptical is going to be terrible. I saw the trailer and it reminds me of Twilight meets Beverly Hills 90210. Good luck.

Even when I check my Facebook page, I'm always reminded of my status in the game Vampire Wars. Yes, I started playing and it's pretty cool, but I don't like having constant notifications of what other people are doing, or what rewards I was given. Sometimes I just want to post something funny and log out. I can't even go for a drive and turning on the radio without some DJ saying something about the Twilight series, and how the sequel New Moon is going to be better.

I hope that this infatuation with vampires starts to cool down. After all, to much of a good thing starts to wear thin and loses it's appeal.

The Lottery: Everybody's Dream

2009-09-06T17:35:00.000-07:00

I want to win the lottery just like everybody else. In my mind, I already have planned out what I would do with the winnings. First thing I would do is pay off all my debts. I'm tired of answering the phone and hearing, "Were from the collection agency of Jackson and Johnson, and would like to talk to you about the delinquent balance you have." Every time I hear those words I cringe. By the way that collection agency is fiction. I think.

After paying off all debts, including student loans. Ironically, I haven't graduated college yet. I would help pay off my parent's mortgage, along with their car bills, utility bills, and anything else. Next, I would help pay my brother's medical school expenses, and give some out to my extended family in Mexico. I would also give out money to my friends here, who have been nothing but supportive. They deserve it. Lastly, I would save the rest and maybe try to open up a restaurant. I know that this would be a risky endeavour, but having your own business is something I've always wanted. No reporting to anyone, but yourself is the ultimate form of freedom.

My restaurant would be called K. Simple and mysterious. The cuisine would be a mixture of Mexican and Italian, with a hint of Asian influence. I'm not a trained chef, but would certainly hire someone with great caliber. I think a great dish would be lasagna Mexican style. This would consist of substituting the layers of pasta with tortillas. The casserole pan would be covered with tortillas, then mole sauce would be used instead of meat sauce, and the ground beef covered with cheese would top it off. Repeat the steps for five layers, and viola your done.

I realize that this is a pipe-dream, and the likelihood of it becoming a reality is far fetched. But having a dream in your mind is better than not having one at all.

Attending Church: I'm Spiritually Flawed

2009-09-06T14:03:00.000-07:00

Today I felt like attending mass. I'm catholic so the "felt" part was irrelevant; we are obligated to go to mass every Sunday, but I bend the rules to my own liking. After taking a shower and getting dressed I arrive.

When I walk into the church the procession has already began. Strike one against me for arriving late. I walk past a couple pews and find one scattered with four people. I take my seat and look around smiling at people. This did not help at all because I did not receive a smile back, but instead a mean stare that came with contempt. As the first reading is about to begin, I think to myself that being in God's good graces will help me be a better person and hopefully write better blogs. The reading ends and everyone claps. The band then starts playing. Actually, it's not a band at all but a senior citizen on an acoustic guitar accompanied by a paraplegic on an accordion. As the music is playing; I can't help, but think of being on a gondola in Venice, Italy or being a dog and eating linguine in the famous Disney movie "Lady and the Tramp." And their singing is terrible. Good thing American Idol doesn't allow geriatrics to participate. They finish playing and again everyone claps. My eyes begin to wander and I notice that there are a lot of beautiful women here. I should be focused on the teachings of Jesus which are: humility, compassion, and love, but instead I'm wondering what they look like in bikinis? I'm going to hell.

The second reading starts and ends. And then the priest starts with his sermon. I think he was talking about loving your neighbors over the Labor day weekend and how doughnuts bring people together. Honestly, I don't know because my mind was debating who was the better Pink Panther? Peter Sellers or Steve Martin. I came to the conclusion that it was Peter Sellers. I then started thinking why Smurfette was the only female in Smurf village. Was she a smurf slut? Or worse, an incest smurf slut getting it on with Papa smurf. I will never know. The sermon ends and the priest says thank you.

It was time for the collection baskets to be passed around. As the basket reaches me I started to reach for my wallet, but remembered I left it in my car. Strike two against me. I was handed the basket but passed it on, and could feel the people's eyes behind me thinking what a Jew.(No offense to the Jewish community. I was trying to be funny.) Oh well. I then notice a gentleman toss a ten dollar bill into the basket, and think man you must really love Jesus a lot or have done something really bad. After the money was collected, the moment came for the blessing of the body and blood of Christ. The priest finishes and we proceed to say the Our Father creed. I couldn't remember it at all and ended up mumbling along. Then the priest asks us to shake each other's hand as a sign of peace. I oblige and shake ten people's hands, but think to myself that I now understand why Howie Mandel bumps fists instead. I also wanted some Purell to clean my hands before eating and drinking Jesus.

The priest and his helpers started passing out the body and blood of Christ. In reality it's just thin wafers with red wine, but the metaphor is what counts. I walk to the front and the priest says, "The body of Christ." I say, "Amen" and eat my savior and drink his tasty blood and take my seat. I knelt down prayed, and asked for his forgiveness. Five minutes later as everyone is done repenting, the priest begins his final prayer. He finishes it and says, "Mass has ended. Go in peace." I leave, get into my car and drive home.

The next time I attend church, I will try my best to pay attention of what is actually being said. But I cannot make any promises, because I might be to busy contemplating which peanut butter is better: chunky or smooth.

Interacial Dating

2009-09-05T21:09:00.000-07:00

Let me start off with saying that this blog is probably one, if not the most personal I have written. I always try to incorporate some type of jocularity, but I don't know if I can. As I write this, I will try my best.

I'm of mixed descent and I'm really proud of it. My mom who I love and adore with every fiber in my body is full Mexican, and my dad is white. I love my dad with the same equality I love my mom. Both my parents have been nothing but supportive of every endeavor I have always wanted to partake in. Thank you mom and dad. Your the best and I'm so lucky to have your support.God bless you.

When I moved to Sacramento, CA to attend Sac State, I started working at Marshall's. My apartment was across the street. This was a plus because I saved on gas money. The days were monotonous with hanging clothes on rack after rack, and hearing people complain about the weather, and why the Kings should be the NBA champs. I was bored, and passed the time away thinking about which spaghetti sauce was better: Ragu or Prego. Prego won out because it had real tomatoes and actually tasted like something you could pour over freshly prepared pasta. My other dilemma was dealing with what kind of broom I should use to clean the store when it closed.My manager chose for me the push broom. Very inconvenient to get into the little crevices. I was designated the "clean up guy." It was a considerate way of saying custodian. I did this for months, upon months and then she came.

Her eyes were as big as pearls glistening in the sun. Her mocha skin was something that model scouts only dream of. The way she talked, with her sexy accent always apologizing for every mistake only made her more attractive in my opinion. Her name was Farzenah, and every time I looked at her I felt like Frosty the Snowman in spring. I melted. She was Persian, and I made it my goal to make her mine. If your thinking like a caveman clubbing her, well then your surely mistaken. I'm better than that. I wrote her a letter on how she made me feel seeing her. Despite the fact that I had only known her a couple months, I figured that it be better to let everything out then keep it all in.

She got my letter and smiled and we went out. Our first date was seeing a movie. I remember it was Wedding Crasher's. The only thing, I remember from that screening was her hand being placed on top of my mine. It was magical in my opinion. I never felt this before and didn't want it to stop. The movie ended and she took me home. I didn't have a car at the time due to an accident. Anyways, as we park, I tell Farzenah that I had a good time with her. Upon hearing this she tells me,"I like you a lot Pablo. You make me feel special." When I heard this my brain, soul, and body went into shock. Not like being dunked in frozen tundra water, but like where your dumb-founded and can't have the words to express what your thinking or feeling. The only thing I can say is,"Thanks." Farzenah laughs, and says in her sexy accent. "That's enough for me."

We become boyfriend and girlfriend. And I'm overjoyed, but the good times can only last so long. Soon enough I run out of money, and have to move back home, and tell Farzenah. She understands and takes it with a grain of salt. I visit her as often as I can, and she likes it, but tells me she has to move back to Iran. Her grandfather died and the culture requires her stay with her family forever. At first, I'm devastated to hear this, but I soon understand that all good things must come to an end. I give her a goodbye kiss that would make any romantic movie jealous, and we head off on our separate ways.

I will always miss her, but I know that I will find a lady who gave the same goosebumps,excitement, and satisfaction Farzenah gave me. I can only hope that when, I meet the future Mrs. Kutter she is internally and externally beautiful, as my previous lady.

K-mart or Wal-mart: Which one is worse?

2009-09-05T15:28:00.000-07:00

As I was driving around my mouth felt really parched, and I wanted to buy a vitamin water. The closest store around was K-mart. I parked my car and walked in. I cannot remember the last time I bought anything from here, and assumed that they went bankrupt. I guess they came out fine just like GM. As I'm walking up and down the aisles looking for the beverages; I overhear the loudspeaker announcing the blue light specials. It was about gold jewelery, linens, and the Kathy Ireland inspired clothing line.

I reach the beverage aisle, but I'm side-tracked. There was a herd of twenty five people all crowded around a podium, where a female K-mart associate yelling at the top of her lungs, was hunched over. She points to me and says, "You sir, Have you signed up for the free give away for a 10k gold necklace?" I'm startled like a frightened turtle and I say, "No, I have not. I didn't even know there was contest." She says, "Well then we need to get you signed up now, because I assume that your girlfriend would appreciate such a nice gift, should you be the lucky recipient." I say, "I don't have a girlfriend right now." The female then says,"Um, well sorry to hear that, but when you sign up you will receive the K-mart newsletter which includes coupons, rebates, and e-mail links to other goodies, only available to K-mart members." Gee just what I always wanted. I say," No thanks, but I appreciate the offer." The crowd then boos and encourages me to join the contest. I reluctantly agreed and put my name in the drawing, but if I receive any e-mails from K-mart I'm deleting that immediately. Ten minutes later the winner is announced, and it wasn't me. Some Hispanic woman won and honestly I'm glad for her. She deserved it more than me. As the crowd begins to scatter, I'm finally able to pay for my vitamin water. I reach the counter and a woman named Helga is my associate. I don't want to be mean, but her name suited her like a glove. I pay for my vitamin water walk out and take a deep breath. I'm so glad to be out of this place.

As I'm driving to my next destination which is Wal-mart for some chips. I'm cheap and they only charge seventy-nine cents where as other places charge the usual ninety-nine cents. Hey it's twenty cents I could use later. Wal-mart does hold true to their motto of lowest prices in town. As I'm pulling into the parking lot which is entirely full like the DMV on a Monday morning, I sigh. I had to park all the way near a Wendy's. Walking is good for you anyways I think to myself. I reach the sliding glass doors and enter. The Wal-mart greeter says, "Hi, How are you? Welcome, were glad your shopping with us." I say, "Thanks." I then scoot away trying to maneuver myself through the thousands of patrons buying anything and everything they can get their hands on. I reach the snack aisle, and I'm scanning around for some Doritos's spicy flavor chips. Damn, no such luck. With a disappointed outcome, I start walking to the exit but I'm stopped by a male Wal-mart associate. He says to me, "If I would like to participate in a survey? By doing so, I would receive 10% off my next Wal-mart purchase provided it be more than twenty five dollars." I say, "No thanks." But, this associate doesn't comprehend no and keeps pestering me, until I cave in. I take the survey, and ironically it's about how well is the customer service. I finish it and throw away my coupon for 10% off my next purchase. I don't want to buy anything here anymore. I walk to my car and drive home.

The next time I want a beverage or chips, I'll just stop bye 7-Eleven where they don't pester you with giveaways or surveys, and treat you with the same respect you get at the Social Security Office: a rude monotone sounding "Next."

Dog's vs Cat's: My choice is made

2009-09-04T22:05:00.000-07:00

Dog's are very needy and always want constant attention. I love that about canines. When I look for a relationship in a girl, I want to have the feeling that I'm wanted and needed just like a dog gives it's master. Cat's on the other hand are very independent. You would think that this would be an admirable trait, and it is. But the trade-off is that cat's do not show off the same love and affection that dogs show. And although having to pick up fecal matter after the dog does it's business is an inconvenience, where as a cat goes to a liter is very resourceful; I wouldn't trade it for the world. When was the last time you saw a cat roll over asking to have it's belly rubbed? Probably never. On the other hand dog's do this religiously with their paws looking like little hooks just panting and waiting to have their master show them the love they deserve.

I have nothing against people who own cat's. Good for them for bringing in an animal into their house, and keeping it out of the streets or an animal shelter. I just wouldn't do it. My loyalty lies with a dog. Despite the fact that a dog's bark can be obnoxious sometimes, I still love them. And when was the last time you saw a painting of cat's playing poker? Never because it doesn't exist, but dogs playing poker is a time revered classic.

Stand-up Comedy: That's Brazen

2009-09-04T19:11:00.000-07:00

I love comedians. I admire how a person can have the strength, audacity, and balls of steel (if it's a woman then uterus of steel) to walk up on stage and belt out joke after joke. Just hoping and praying they don't get heckled or worse. Like having condoms filled with milk and tied up to masquerade as water balloons. Then having them thrown at you; thinking it's love nectar. Not that this has happened to me. Seriously it hasn't. The preferred outcome would instead be the comedian hearing the audience laughing hysterically out loud like coked up hyena's. Better yet if the comedian sees tear drops coming out of patrons eyes, and falling out of chairs. Although the falling down might also be attributed to the drinking. Who knows?

I sometimes ponder if I could do this. And I think I could after all. People have told me, I'm very humorous and can lighten up the mood in a room with the way I talk and analyze the world around me, and I would have to agree. If I were to do this I would need a couple of rounds of the liquid courage to lubricate my terrified state. Not the drunk, stupor, swaying back and forth stage of inebriation but comparatively; the buzzed, talkative, happy-go-lucky phase. I imagine myself walking up on the platform saying my name, and then blabbing on about the topics I write in this blog. If your a comedian reading this and steal my thunder, then shame on you. I will find you. Beware.

If I'm out at a club hanging out, and drinking with friends of mine, and coincidentally they have open-mic night for stand up comedians maybe just maybe I will try it. After all I have tried Karaoke once, and let me tell you my "singing voice" sounds like a cat gargling then spitting out Scope. Terrible, but oh so minty fresh.

Facial Hair: Every guy has tried it

2009-09-04T13:57:00.000-07:00

I haven't had facial hair for a while now. It's not that I can't grow out a porn star looking mustache, or a hipster looking goatee, or even a burly una-bomber looking beard. Not scary like Joaquin Phoenix. It's just I've already done that. And having a clear face without any facial hair is now my choice. Why? Because it takes to much time, effort, and grooming to keep your mustache, goatee, or beard in tip top shape. Trust me, you don't want to go out and try to meet ladies if your facial hair is as rough as sand paper and could substitute for a bird's nest.

My senior year in high school was the first time I grew out my five-o-clock shadow into a goatee. I felt like a man. I looked in the mirror and rubbed my chin just like the guys in the Gillette commercials. I thought I looked tough and walked down the halls with a newly acquired confidence. No longer was I Pablo the- weak- peach- fuzzed- dork, but instead I was a renegade take-no-shit-from-no-one Pablo. Girls actually complimented me on my goatee, and I was starting to feel respected instead of humiliated. After about a week of having the ultimate power trip, the moment came where I needed to start trimming my goatee. I was scared because I didn't want to ruin it. It was my baby. I wanted to be precise in how I trimmed my desirable facial hair. In my mind, I was like a surgeon and should have been rewarded for a gallantry effort. I started off on a good foot, but neglected some hairs underneath my chin and ended up shaving the whole thing off. The next day I went to school with a clear face and felt really bummed out.

My next facial hair look that I wanted to emulate was Tom Selleck. The guy who played Magnum P.I. I also wanted a Higgins's who could be my sidekick. That beautiful looking mustache was something to be treasured and I wanted the same thing. I grew out a mustache, but it did not come to the fruition I had hoped. Instead of getting positive compliments on it, like "Great mustache. You look tough." In lieu of that, the remarks I heard were, "How's the gay clubs in San Francisco? or What time is your porn shoot at?" No pun in tented. After hearing this I shaved that thing off, and will leave mustaches for Dr. Phil and Burt Reynolds to keep the dream alive.

To all future young men with stubble, go ahead and grow out a mustache, goatee, or beard once in your life. You will be surprised at the reactions you family members, peers, associates and other people will give you. Be it good or bad. Just don't think that back hair will become the newest trend. It never has and never will.

The 1990's: Best Decade Ever

2009-09-03T17:53:00.000-07:00

As the first decade of the new millennium is approaching it's closure; I'm starting to reminisce about the previous decade known as the 90's. I'm a product of this era, and everything that has made me who I am, I attribute to this period. My love of films, music, humor, and writing is all wound up in the epoch that Bill Clinton ruled as president.

I was fourteen the first time I saw Pulp Fiction, and something inside me changed forever. I didn't know exactly what it was, but my heart and soul felt free for the first time. I loved the way this film was done. Different stories told in retro-grade time lines, all connecting at the end. I had never seen anything like it before. Not that I was a film critic, and had the criteria to judge other films besides it. But, I had never heard dialogue spoken in such a way that used pop culture references at the time (1994). I didn't feel like the characters were type cast as either good or bad individuals, but rather ambiguous people. Isn't life that way? I knew once the movie ended that I wanted to tell stories in some sort of medium. Because of this movie many future films wound up using the Pulp Fiction template to try and recreate the same atmosphere. But none have done what this film did for me and the huge masses who loved it. Thank you Quentin Tarantino for opening my creative doorway.

My buddy Damon, who I ran cross country with in high school first introduced me to music as a way to soothe the soul and rock out at the same time. There are two bands and their songs that had a profound effect on me as to how music tugs at your inner being asking to be released. The first was Better Than Ezra and the song was called "Good." The first time I heard it, I felt alive with the melody and lyrics. It was as if the singer was directly speaking to me. The second was Pearl Jam and their song titled, "Elderly women behind a counter in a small town." This song is very personal to me because of the way Eddie Veder delivers his poetic lyrics, and somehow is able to tap into the internal and benevolent part of us. I try really hard not to shed a tear every time I listen to that song. I wanted more and asked my buddy to expose me to more bands. He suggested I take a listen to these bands: Weezer, Oasis, Bush, Sound Garden, Nirvana, The Foo Fighters, Green Day, Korn, Rancid, The Offspring, Bad Religion, Blink 182, Less than Jake, The Cranberries, and Collective Soul. I obliged and was hooked. With each, "new" song I took in by these bands I felt a connection to everyone around me. I sensed an understanding in me that I was not alone in this world, and people regardless of who they are all wanted to comprehend that you are loved.

Saturday Night Live spawned my interest in using humor to quell arguments, or bring people together. I know that SNL was created in the 1970's, but for argument's sake, I will be talking about the alumni in the 1990's who infected me with the humor bug. Chris Farley and David Spade were a comedic gem. The two movies they made, (Tommy Boy and Black Sheep) brought out in me, the inner adolescent who wanted to try cow tipping, and sing "Maniac" at a gas station while being hosed down, for going cow tipping. Adam Sandler's cohorts at yelling at anything he deemed to be stupid was brilliant in my opinion. Billy Madison was, and still is a funny movie that I think left an imprint on Judd Apatow and his crew. Lastly Mike Myer's impressions left me with the appreciation that it's okay to mock other cultures. After I saw Austin Powers the first time, I thought that all British people acted in that manner. And I wanted to have a Ms. Kensington as a sexy partner in fighting crime. Elizabeth Hurley if your reading this, please e-mail me.

I read the book Trainspotting in the late 90's, and after I finished it; I wanted to become a writer. Not a novelist, but rather someone who could articulate the same messages, themes, hopes, dreams, and disappointment's that Irving Welsh did for me. But without using heroin as a muse. I liked how the characters felt the same dread; I did knowing that sooner than later we all had to grow up. Find your significant other and get married; then start a family. Next step is to chose what kind of microwave you should get, and tell your doctor about the ulcers you have late at night.

I hope that the future generations pay tribute to this decade, and realize that without it's contribution we would not have the mammoth inception that reality television is now. (Real World remember that) Or, how the OJ case changed the way we view race relations in the courtroom and in the public. On a closing note, the only thing that I'm glad died with the 90's was rollerblading.

Football Season: Ugh, here we go again

2009-09-02T16:30:00.000-07:00

I love watching sports on television. I like watching baseball, basketball ( really like March Madness), tennis, soccer, hockey, and lastly football. Actually I don't really like watching football. It's not that I don't appreciate it, it's just asinine to me. A bunch of dudes dressed in heavy padding waiting to pummel each other, while grunting like caveman. Maybe, I don't like it because I've never actually played the sport, but that was because getting the crap kicked out of me was unappealing. Call me crazy, but having a two-hundred-fifty pound neanderthal juggernaut drive my thin frame to the ground, day after day does not sound like fun. If I wanted to injure myself repeatedly I would pound my head against a brick wall for about an hour a day.

Despite this morbid fascination with having colossus like lineman tackle each other, and pat each other's ass when done, it is America's favorite sport. I don't get it? This sport boost's our national economy more than the other three major sports combined. We spend a fortune on tickets(average ticket price is over $75) to the game, and yet it's only played once a week. Talk about being ripped off if your team loses. At least with with the other sports you get more games to attend, and are not so heart-broken if your team loses.

Suppose your team makes the playoffs and you want to root for them like a freshman cheerleader in the stands, you better make plans to sell your kidneys on the black market or start being a pawn in the world's oldest profession. Those ticket prices are astronomically high. And yet people pay these prices to watch overgrown men head butt each other. All the while the owners of each NFL team are rubbing their hands together like Mr. Burns from the Simpson's. I wonder if they say, "Excellent" the same way.

The climactic game to this feeble minded sport is the Super Bowl. It's the holy grail for advertisers, where they can show-case the latest and newest beer commercials. In defense of the beer slots; I do enjoy watching them, they are funny. Some other products advertisers mass market are Doritos's, H&R Block (tax season coming up),and movie trailers for the up-coming summer season. Oh yeah and then theirs the big game. The winning team hoists up the Vince Lombardi trophy triumphantly. Probably chanting, "I totally kicked your ass, literally." This being the culmination of a years hard work, pile driving other players to the ground, and then slapping your teammates ass like the locker rooms backstage at Disney's on Ice.

Fast Food Mascots: Harmless Advertsing or Harbinger's of Obesity?

2009-09-01T15:27:00.000-07:00

I don't eat fast food very often, but I do watch a lot of television. And when I surf the channels while my program is on commercial hiatus I've noticed many commercials vying for the top spot in fast food eatery. The main three that want you to enter their building and devour the entire menu like a malnourished Somalia refugee are: McDonald's, Jack-In-The-Box, and lastly Burger King. These three sneaky fast food behemoths use a clever form of marketing which to a blind eye is non evasive, but holds the key to keep a vice grip on the younger generation. What is it you ask? To use mascots like Ronald McDonald, Mr. Jack-in-the Box, and The King to market the menu as fun and where all the "cool" people eat at.

These so called fun-loving messenger's of good eating are nothing more than charlatan's that want little kids to obtain bad nutritional habit's. I also think that there mere knock offs from the Muppet's, and I dislike clowns very much. If you have previously read in my other blogs, I have a hatred bias toward clowns, so that rules out why I dislike McDonald's. When it comes to Jack-in-the Box, the guy playing the mascot "Jack", creeps me out because he always has that mask over his head. And to top it off; they want the world to believe he was born that way. And all of his employees are supposed to be scared of a guy wearing an ornament you put on top of your antenna. Come on. Lastly Burger King's the King. That mascot is just plain weird and does not talk at all ,but rather hands you food the minute you wake up. Can we say stalker? The King reminds me of Michael Myers only he uses his greasy, heart attack waiting sustenance to kill you.

I know that when it comes to marketing yourself in a digital world, where your constantly bombarded with slogans that scream, it's a kill or be killed environment;you need snappy themes to hook, line and sinker the younger generation. For example some motto's that advertiser's use are, "Buy now, not later, Eat here or your a loser, and my personal favorite, What would all the popular kids Do?" I'm being sarcastic if you didn't notice. The problem with this form of peddling is that the generation who buys into this non-sense will be paying dearly for it years later. How you ask? Well let's start off with constant teasing from their peers for gaining weight faster than Kristie Alley or Oprah. Second, the early stages of diabetes, asthma, and changes in their heart palpitations. And lastly the fact that their life expectancy will be significantly be lower than their parents.

I can only hope that parents will teach their offspring better eating habits, and if they do eat fast-food well then make healthier choices. I would also like parents to petition to make it mandatory for Mr. Jack-in-the-Box to release his true identity.

This day sucked

2009-08-31T19:46:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had one of those days, that from the moment you wake up you know it's going to be bad? Today was that day for me. It started at 7:30 a.m. I was waking up for work, when in fact, I should have already drank my morning coffee, brushed my teeth, read the morning paper and taken off. Instead, I hopped into a cold shower, my contact lenses burning my retinas, wearing mismatched socks, and finding out there was no coffee left. Oh I almost forgot to mention that my dad did not leave keys for my mom's car, and because of it my mom had to drop me off at work.

If having my mom drop me off at work was not humiliating enough; I started having an itch on the back of my neck and realized I had put on my under-shirt backwards. Man this sucks. I asked my mom to pick me up at 11:15 a.m. My work day is only three hours a day. I work with Pre-school kids. At school one of the little girls hurt herself, and the teacher thought I was at fault for not watching her play. I didn't see or hear anything and I was watching the other children. Also one of the little boys would not stop pestering a little girl, despite the fact I kept telling him to stop. When my work day stopped all I wanted to do was go home and take out my aggression on my brother's drum kit.

My mom was late picking me up due to her demanding job, and I took it out on her. Very bad move by my part. My mom was pissed at me for the rest of her day. When I finally got home, instead of trying to remain calm I started yelling at my brother for not cleaning the kitchen. My brother was pissed at me, and pretty much gave me the finger. I also could not play the drums because he wouldn't let me.

A couple of hours later, I call the repair shop where my computer was being fixed and I'm told it's ready. Finally some good news or so I thought. When I paid the repair man and took my lap-top home, I was hoping, praying it would connect to the Internet. No such luck and it still has the viruses not letting me surf the web. After this ordeal all I wanted to do was hit somebody really fucking hard and scream at the top of my lungs, "Serenity Now!" Just like George Costanza's dad from Seinfeld. I also wanted a strong, stiff drink to numb the day/night I had.

As this day is winding down, thank god. I bought a pint of cheap beer with some loose change I had, and I know that tomorrow will be a fresh start.

Mexico

2009-08-30T15:24:00.000-07:00

I love going down to Mexico to visit my extended family. When I see my grandmother, my aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, nephews, and their families it makes me smile. I'm usually greeted with a great big hug, and an "Ho la, Como est as?" I can't really write in Spanish, so this limits my ability to transcribe messages. I always reply with, "Muy bi en, y Tu?" My uncles always laugh at this, and heckle me about my heavy accent. When you listen to me speak in Spanish, you can tell that English is my my native tongue. But I still try and somehow communicate my thoughts to my family.

The bulk of my family lives in Guadalajara, Mexico. This city is awesome. It's a metropolis full of excitement, wonderment, adventure, and the best fucking food anywhere. Taco stands are a dime a dozen, but they all taste exquisite. On some occasions my cousins take my brother, sister, and I to different bars to get drunk. In Spanish they call it "pedo." Don't ask me. We order beers, some tequilas and live it up singing and dancing the night away. To make sure we don't wake up with a massive hangover the last stop before heading home is definitely a taco stand. My mouth is starting to water right now just thinking about it. I usually order about five tacos made up of sliced pork meat sprinkled with diced onions, cilantro, and salsa. If you think five is a lot then you should see how many my brother can put down. In his defense he's taller then me.

When we wake up after a good night my grandmother will make us breakfast. God bless her. The breakfast consists of eggs, chorizo, re fried beans, and of course orange juice to wash it down. We then take showers and get ready to see the town in the daylight and sober. Sometimes, we visit the University where my uncles teach track & field. My uncles were track stars when they were younger and like to impart this knowledge to the younger generations.

When were not living it up in Guadalajara my family likes to take a vacation in Puerto Vallarta. It's a beach city that is relaxing; has the best weather and many activities to do. During the day I'm usually lounging around the pool with my sunglasses on trying to get a tan. I haven't succeeded. Sometimes I will walk along the beach and look out at the ocean wondering if maybe I could live here for the rest of my life. At night I get ready and go out with my relatives and we hit bars and clubs just partying it up. This is the life; no responsibilities, worries, or cares. But alas all good things must come to an end, and when my nucleus family says bye to our extended family it's always bittersweet.

If you have not gone to Mexico, I highly recommend you visit. It's amazing, spectacular, friendly, but most of all wonderful. I'm not just saying that because I'm half Mexican, but honestly it is. If you have gone to Mexico then good for you, and Tijuana doesn't count as real Mexico for me.

Kick Ass Social Function

2009-08-29T19:55:00.000-07:00

Yesterday my brother and I were invited to a surprise birthday party for a buddy of ours. His name is David and he's like a brother to us. We have known his family for what seems like an eternity, and I want to keep it that way. We obliged and got ready. When my brother and I looked at each other on how we cleaned up; I was impressed. No high school guy in a tuxedo could touch us. Even though we were dressing very casually.

As my brother and I were waiting to be picked up, we were discussing the song that we had written. It's called Jupiter and sounds a little spacey. If we had the lead singer of the band Muse, then it would be a gold record all the way baby!! I'm not egotistical; I just think the melody, beat, and lyrics, would be Grammy material. Or at least a People's choice Award. The unfortunate thing is that my brother and I cannot practice right,now due to his amp blowing out. I think my brother wanted to yell, or at least cry due to this set-back, but he gets over a quandary real quick. I admire that about him. As were exchanging ideas on what could be new songs, a car pulls up and picks us up.

It was Sarah and her sister Maria. These two lovely ladies are the sister's of the birthday boy ( I want to say gentleman) , but hey what are you going to do. Any way's we get in the car and head off. As Sarah is driving we start discussing topics, that range from: what are cool band names, to what movies we all like. I personally think that Pythagorean Theorem or Half&Half would be amazing. But what do I know. We also agree that Old School was a bad-ass movie, and that Will Ferrell killed it as the character Frank-the-Tank. Very funny. Sarah then says, "We need to pick up Terry." Terry is a cool, hip, rocking chick who is a mutual friend of ours. We pick her up, and then head off to Monterrey, CA.

As we pull up to the parking lot, I ask "Where are we going?" Maria says, "I made reservations at some sushi restaurant called Benihanna for eight o'clock." I think that's how it's spelled. We get out of the car and proceed to walk to the establishment. As were walking, I ask, "How many people are going to be here? And do they only serve sushi?" Maria comment's, "That yes, they serve cooked food, and there will be seven people their." Man I'm relieved, despite the fact that I won't order anything off the menu, ironically. I'm broke right now.

We walk up to the restaurant, and I open the door and were greeted by the host. I would assume that being a host you would be very joy full, but he seemed stressed out, and had a hint of neurosis. He kept checking the schedule every minute just to make sure it hadn't changed. Unless someone invented a time machine in the time it takes me to write this sentence, then I assume your in the clear. Despite this we are whisked away to the main dining room.

As I'm walking into the dining room; I'm astonished. This place looks like a prop out of a movie/TV set. It could be, where every heavyweight in Tinseltown comes to make the big score. Seriously, I think that Clint Eastwood, George Lopez, and hell even Ray Romano comes to have a big power lunch when, their in the central coast neighborhood. The fact that I'm eating in this place (But I'm not. )is enough for me. I just want my friend to have a satisfying time on his birthday. I notice that all the tables have a griddle built into all of them. At first I'm perplexed, but as I'm scanning around more keenly; I notice that it's because they have the meals prepared in front of the patrons in directly. I also notice that all the waiters/waitresses are dressed like Geisha's. No not pay for sex personally, but rather kabuki style.
Our waitress greets us and asks us,"If we would like anything to drink?" We say, that all we would like is water right now." The waitress smiles and leaves. Two minutes later, the man-of-the-hour arrives with his girlfriend named Bernadette. She's a cool,guitar-playing, Biddie-smoking,kick ass chick. We say Happy Birthday!! And David is surprised. Bernadette smiles and gives him a big wet kiss on the lips. He deserves it. David says, "Thank you to all." Bernadette and him sit down and the waitress returns.

I forget what everyone ordered, but I do recall someone ordering a bottle of Sake. To the person who ordered it, you kick ass. Getting back to my point; we poured a little shot glass for everyone and toasted to David's birthday. By the way sake is strong if you have not tried it. It tastes like a really strong wine. By that I mean, like a Riesling or Chardonnay which has been left uncorked for about two weeks.

Our chef arrives and greets us. I assumed that it would be a Japanese chef, but as it turned it out it was a Mexican. I want to say I was surprised, but I wasn't. I'm not trying to sound jaded but in fact, very prideful. I'm proud that my culture can be able blend in into other other people's cuisine, and masquerade as it's own or even better. ( No disrespect to the Japanese.) Suffice to say this chef could have used, a little bit more practice in the bemused part of cooking in front of a crowd. But, hey at least he tried and was entertaining.

We left feeling happy and jubilant. We then walked Monterrey, trying to find a bar to sit at and drink, but no such luck. After this uneventful endeavor did not come to fruition, we decided to party it up at my place. David and I picked up some beers and a bottle of Vodka, and we ended up playing Rock Band with everyone. By the way, I don't think I suck that much singing to the Strokes song "Reptilea. "Of course I was a little bit buzzed. Overall it was a kick-ass-night, and I hope to do it again. But this time, I want to "sing" the song "Move Along," by the All-American-Rejects.

Axe Products: I believe the hype

2009-08-27T15:52:00.000-07:00

I'm a sucker for good advertising. If a product is marketed well enough for me to want to buy it, then chances are I will. This is the case with Axe products. These items are men's toiletries designated for the younger crowd. By that I mean ages 16-32. Oh man I'm cutting it close. Anyways the commercials they show are men being ravaged by hot, young, sexy,and sometimes loose women. (No disrespect to the females) The women are tempted by the scent and aroma of Axe products, and pounce on the unsuspecting man like a cougar taking it's prey. It's awesome. Because I'm easily influenced; I decided to buy these items and test their accuracy.

I went to Target and was looking for these items and found them. This Axe company has everything you need for the bathroom. From: deodorant, to face-wash, shower-gel, shampoo, conditioner, and hair products. I was astonished. I decided to buy the shower-gel and the hair product, since these were the items I remember from the commercials. Plus I already had shampoo and conditioner, and I'm happy with my face-wash. Thank you Nivea for keeping my face zit free. Suck it Proactiv. So as I'm putting the items in my little basket I notice two hot girls smiling at me, and giggling. Damn this company is good, and I haven't even tried the substance yet. I smile back, and proceed to the register. I also bought some contacts lens solution and the fifth season of Entourage. Magnificent show if you have not seen it.

The female cashier associate takes the items out of the basket and begins to scan them. As soon as she scans the Axe shower gel, she starts to smile a bit, and asks "So, how do you like it?" I say, "I don't know, this is the first time I'm trying it." She then says, "Oh you will like it, a lot." I take this as a good sign, pay for the items and drive home.

I take a shower using this supposedly, "intoxicating, women-magnetizing shower-gel" and then get dressed. I put on my clothes and then start to style my hair, (if you call rubbing the Axe pomade between my hands and then putting it in my hair without using a comb or brush stylish; then yes it is.) I feel confident; just like the dudes in the commercials. With my exquisite looks ready to hopefully knock down ladies like domino's I drive off to a bar.

I arrive at some tavern and order a beer. The ladies there start eyeing me like a gazelle in the Serengeti, with them being the lion or in this case lioness. I introduce myself to two ladies, and we chat a little bit hanging out and drinking, but I didn't have the crazy night the guys had in the commercials. It's okay because after the day/night I had; I will always buy Axe products to help build my self -esteem with the ladies.

Going to a Health Clinic: I hope Ritalin will become my new best friend

2009-08-26T13:42:00.000-07:00

I have the attention span of a five year old. My mind wanders from idea to idea, faster than Quentin Tarantino talking about movies. I can't sit still and complete a task, without getting restless and moving onto the next idea. This has hindered me to the point of neurosis I think. One example I have is in my writing. I want to write a TV episode of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, and have some of it written down, but can't seem to finish it. I then start writing another idea, but that fails to launch successfully either.
Whenever I play the drums; I don't finish playing a song all the way through because I want to see what's on television. Are you getting my point? My parents noticed my in ate ability to complete a task and suggested I see a specialist. I agreed. I'm going to tell the doctor about my condition, and hopefully he or she will prescribe me some sort of medication that will allow me to focus on one thing at a time. I don't want to live my life anymore doing everything half-way done. If Ritalin is what I get prescribed, then I will pop those pills everyday like it came from a pez dispenser.
P.S. I went to this clinic and it was a waste of time. The receptionist treated me like I was junkie just looking for a fix. Tomorrow I'm going to see a psychologist who will hopefully treat me with dignity and respect.

Not having my laptop: This sucks

2009-08-25T10:17:00.000-07:00

I'm writing this blog on my parent's desktop, and it blows. I'm not used to the keyboard, the screen looks weird, and plainly put it's not mine. Yesterday my laptop went ape-shit and would not connect to the Internet. I was devastated. I tried connecting it many times, but with no such luck. I was wondering if the network that allows wireless hook-ups throughout the house was the problem, but that wasn't it either. I finally realized that I had a virus streaming throughout my lap-top and, asked my brother if he could fix it. He obliged and started an anti-virus scan, and found many cookies that were infecting the connection to the Internet. I asked, "what the problem could be?" He then asked me "if I had visited any porn sites?" Damn I had to tell the truth. Yes I had, having an embarrassed look on my face. Busted and getting my lap-top infected with a virus, all because I wanted to look at girls with big breasts and pretty faces.
I took it in to a repair shop,and I'm hoping that it will come back faster, stronger, and healthier then before. Like the six-million-dollar man. From this moment on I will not visit any more porn sites, but instead rent DVDs.

The Gym

2009-08-23T16:18:00.000-07:00

I'm in relatively good shape. I exercise on a daily basis, whether that consists of doing some-push-ups, crunches, or using my free weights. I work out at home now because I cancelled my membership at a local gym. This gym was notoriously known for it's in adequate equipment, rude employees, and filthy hygiene. Every time I stepped into that rat-infested-cesspool; I felt like I was going to catch the e-bola virus. That wasn't the worst of it. The employees who worked there always had a chip on their shoulder, and were condescending, sarcastic, and insolent toward the patrons.
They were especially obnoxious to the portly people, who were there to lose weight. Isn't the whole point to go to the gym is to lose weight? The fact that the people, who's sole purpose is to help you attain a leaner figure, are the ones ridiculing your effort is insulting and mean-spirited.
I vividly remember one time when a couple of employees were harassing a large woman, because she could only be on the treadmill for at most two minutes. They said,"Hey Shamu move those thunder thighs. Wait, on second thought don't cause we don't need another major earthquake." I'm all for mocking people, but not with the intent to have malice in my heart. I really felt bad for the woman and wanted to confront those fucking ass-holes, but didn't.
In the end I and the other patrons got our revenge on them. The place went out of business and those former employees are looking for new jobs. I'd like to think that one of those employees who was extremely abrasive towards the large woman applied at her work, only to be rejected worse than an American Idol contestant.

Playing Board Games: Scrabble is the best

2009-08-22T20:33:00.000-07:00

I'm a big fan of playing board games. I love Monopoly, Yahtzee, Jenga, Life, and my personal favorite Scrabble. This last one takes real skill, and is not for the faint of heart. Ironically spelling is not my speciality.

In grade school I always wanted to be the spelling champ. I wanted to beat my fellow classmates with my, what I thought was my adequate super ability to know how to spell infrastructure in the sixth grade. I made that up I could barely spell education. By the way I can't actually spell the word infrastructure correctly without looking at a dictionary. Or using spell check. Another dream thrown out the window. Because of this I made a vow to learn to spell better, and what better way than to use Scrabble.

I played daily for a while hoping that this game would enhance my vocabulary along with bettering my less-than-par spelling. Many times I lost games against worthy opponents who would have triple-word-score using the letter Q or X. That takes talent, those two letters in the American alphabet are like bastard children. You don't know what to do with them, but when you do man it's a miracle. I did not mind losing to such well educated personal, and thought okay time to test my proficiency against other people.

First up was geriatrics. I thought that maybe I could have a leg up against these people considering they probably couldn't remember anything due to the Alzheimer's disease. Boy was I wrong. These denture wearing, apple sauce eating, cane slapping brethren out-spelled me by a mile. I guess growing up without the advent of using the Internet to cheat really helped.

No matter, I was onto my next target. The blind people. I figured that if a person could not see the letters to make up the word then I was in the clear. Boy was I wrong again. For some reason other players are sympathetic towards the blind and help them form words. I personally view it as cheating, but hey what are you going to do. Suffice to say my ego took a big hit losing to someone who can't even see the game their playing.

This did not deter my goal of beating someone at Scrabble. I came to the conclusion that maybe I could have a chance against the illiterate. This proved to be fruitful and made me feel like a champ. I know what your thinking, that beating people who can't even read in the first place is like winning the 100 meter dash in the Special Olympics when your not the handy-capped person, but I will take what I can get.

Home Depot & the Olympics

2009-08-22T13:56:00.000-07:00

I love watching the Olympics. I admire the stamina, endurance, athleticism, and the sportsmanship that bring these "heroes" together. I just have one question to America's champions. Why do they all work at Home Depot? I could not believe how many commercials there were promoting all the Olympians that work for the Home Depot. Seriously, it seems like the guy giving you advice on copper wire installation was moonlighting as the next world class archer. Or the woman helping you find the perfect color match for your big paint job was a renowned equestrian. If these people were world class athletes then shouldn't your full time job be practicing your craft. I guess Lowe's doesn't appreciate the blood, sweat and tears that the Home Depot has for it's employees/Olympians.
I'm trying to picture Michael Phelps greeting you with the trusty orange apron on saying, "Welcome How can I help you?" When you ask where something is Mr. Phelps says, "I'll show you." Only when your walking along side him; he is doing a swim stroke at the same time. Preferably the butterfly one.

The next time I visit the Home Depot to buy a new toilet; the handyman helping me put it on the cart; I'll be sure to say good luck at the London games in the shot put competition.

MTV: The network that does not play music, but rather celebrates stupidty.

2009-08-21T12:36:00.000-07:00

I'm angry as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore. As I flip the channels trying to find something suitable to watch, I stumble onto MTV's programming. The shows that they air are a combination of narcissism, arrogance, drama, (if you call True Life:I'm a transvestite; that), stupidity, and any other adjective that describes self-importance. What ever happened to the music? Isn't that what the acronym for MTV stands for. Music television. In fact why do they have video music awards? That makes as much sense as Fox news saying their journalism is "fair and balanced." Sure it is buddy, keep telling yourself that.

Instead we are bombarded with terrible, horrendous shows that insult our intelligence and celebrate our inner yokel. No offense to Cletus the slack-jawed yokel from the Simpson's. He was just born that way. I cannot believe how this network which I used to adore treats their audience.

Take for example these shows: Room Raiders, Sweet Sixteen, Date my Mom, and The Hills. They are all reprehensible shows. I'm going to skew these shows one-by-one worse than John Stewart calling the Republican party out on anything important.

Let me first start off with Room Raiders. The premise for this train wreck of a show is this: three girls or guys are hauled away like trash in a van that is secretly monitoring their rooms. Inside the van a television screen appears with a girl or guy saying, "Surprise your on Room Raiders, I'm so and so, and I will be rummaging in your personal belongings to see if we are compatible to date." Sounds creepy doesn't it. After this meeting the commercials start and we are greeted with an Anti-Drug commercial that invokes the message that smoking pot even one time will ruin your life. So let me get this straight trying pot just once will make you a degenerate for life, but it's okay to break into a strangers house and careen around looking for items that might make you think you two are destined to be together forever. I don't know about you, but in the real world doing this is called BREAKING AND ENTERING!! That's a felony and will get you in prison. But in Room Raiders it's just cheeky fun.

I will now move onto Sweet Sixteen. The premise for this show is like a documentary in which we watch rich, spoiled, snot-nosed brats detail their extravagant sweet sixteen. They complain to their parents about everything from; who should attend, (nerds and geeks need not apply), to why they should have a tiger there. Oh and they also need the newest car cause last years models are so out of touch. Give me a fucking break. I want to slap these little bitches and, tell them to donate there precious time at a soup kitchen to see how people who are less fortunate them live daily.

Moving on to Date my Mom. This shows premise is about a potential guy or girl suitor who has to date the candidates moms in order to see which one is most compatible. That is just wrong, and has an Oedipus complex element which I find disturbing.

Lastly the Hills. This shows premise is about following four young women trying to make it big in Hollywood, CA while struggling with the daily rituals of life. They complain about boys being shallow only caring for pretty women with big breasts. If you just came to that conclusion that boys only look at pretty girls you are either stupid or been living under a rock. They also fight with each other sometimes being petty and manipulative. That's shocking; women being caddy towards each other to get ahead. Who ever heard of such a thing?

I would like to end this blog with the hope that when people read this they will boy-cot to terminate this network and turn to a much better music network called Vh1. But I know that won't happen. I have a better chance at bitch slapping the parents of the sweet sixteen year old.

Fat People: They have really high self-esteem

2009-08-20T13:18:00.000-07:00

Let me be clear about this blog. As your reading this it may come off as sarcastic, condescending, and maybe even mean-spirited, but that is not the case. I have nothing but love, compassion, and respect for people whatever their size. I judge a person on content of character, not outside appearance. With that being written, let me give a shout-out to the chunky,husky, portly, and big-boned people of America. I loved the Disney movie "Heavyweights."

Whenever I'm walking anywhere I always see fat people wearing little clothing or next to nothing. At first glance I'm kind of repulsed by this. The way their skin fat rolls over resembling a wave crashing on the shore. But in a way I'm really astonished by this because they really don't care what other people think of them. I admire when an obese man looking like a beached whale proudly wears his tang top; his arms jiggling with each stride. This guy should be the spokesperson for JELL-O. Not Bill Cosby.

I have great respect for women who let their Muffin-top blubber shine away like a lighthouse beckoning all those to witness. It's as if their mantra screams: "I am fat and hear me roar, or rather waddle while trying to compose my heavy breathing." Skinny people like myself on the other hand dress very conservatively shielding away every part of the body. It's as if thin people want to dress like Eskimos all the time.I think that Jabba-the Hut was the catalyst that let big people feel it's okay to let your fat fly freely in the wind literally. America we should take note and learn to have high-self esteem like our obese breather en.

Hanging out in Davis, CA

2009-08-19T16:20:00.000-07:00

My brother woke me up and asked if I wanted to accompany him to Davis, CA. He said that he needed to pick up some essentials which were: his laptop, electric guitar, clothes, and a bottle of red wine. I said sure man. It's not like I have anything important to do like work or go to school. Man I feel like a bum writing that. Anyways I exercised a little bit, ate breakfast, took a shower, packed my things and we were off.

We first stopped off at a recycling place; where I handed in my collectibles of many beer bottles, wine bottles, plastic water bottles, and aluminum soda cans. I received three dollars back from it, and we were back on the road to Davis, CA. My brother took the 680 route which is more scenic than the 5 which I usually take. As were driving we were talking about favorite TV shows. I commented that It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Entourage, and True Blood were my favorite at the moment, and he said that he also liked those shows except for True Blood. He doesn't dig vampire shows. We were also discussing bands that we like and comparing singing abilities in them. My brother commented that most punk bands have singers that cannot really sing Capella. Very few of them have the singing chops of Christina Ague lira, Whitney Houston (before she became a drug addicted junkie thanks to Bobby Brown), and Susan Boyle. Most of the punk singers sing just barely in key, but that's okay because of the music they play. Take for instance Dexter Holland of the Offspring. That guy sings terribly but their music sounds bad ass so it makes up for the lackluster singing.

I then told a story that involves the Offspring and their song called "Why don't you get a job?" A couple of years ago I was hanging out with some friends at the wharf in Monterrey, CA. We were walking along the pier laughing at some stupid shit, when we noticed a homeless man playing his acoustic guitar; his case open hoping that people passing by would drop change or bills. He was pretty good. He was accepting requests and I walked up to him and asked him if he knew a song called "Why don't you get a job?" The look he gave me was priceless. It was a combination of smirk/smile that screamed "BITCH." I then told him it was real song by a real band. Needlessly to say he didn't know how to play it. After hearing this story my brother was laughing.
We then stop in Sacramento, CA because I wanted to order some transcripts from my old college. I'm going to go back to school and need them to see how long I have to finish. I order them and we get back in the car and head on towards to Davis. We arrive in Davis about half an hour later and are exhausted both from the heat and the drive. I'm sure my brother was more tired than me considering he was the one driving. We walk to my brother's apartment walk in and are greeted by his roommate Amy. She's a tall Japanese/American girl with a pretty smile. We both smile back and say hi. After unloading our belongings my brother asks if I'm hungry? I say no because I cannot eat in this terrible heat. Something about devouring food in 100 degree heat is not appealing to me. My brother rolls his eyes back and says fine, but I'm hungry.
We head off to Subway and my brother orders a foot long cold cut sandwich. As my brother is chomping down on his meal; a man who acts like he is really, really drunk stumbles into the place, and immediately starts harassing the employees. This guy is a real douche bag and demands a tuna sandwich with extra toppings of everything. I'm sure the employees were
ecstatic once the fuck-nugget left.

We leave Subway and then stop off at a music store where my brother starts salivating at the mouth. I'm kidding but, I think he was getting wood. Just messing with you bro. We walk in and my brother asks an employee if he can play the electric drum kit. The employee obliges and my brother jams out for a couple minutes smiling all the way. He tells me that he wishes he had one of these kits; that way he could practice at midnight without disturbing the neighbors. I nod my head and agree. We leave the store and head back to his apartment.
After resting for about two hours, my brother asks what should we do next? I say I don't know. My brother then suggests we go to a bar where they have quiz night. He comments that this bar and quiz theme is really fun, but that the questions they ask are hard. For example some of the questions they ask consist of: "What time was is it exactly when Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin stepped on the moon?" Who knows that shit? I for one don't. I agree to go and suggest we take my friend Damon who lives here also.

I call Damon and ask him if he wants to accompany us to this bar, and without hesitation he agrees. The three of us walk into the bar, sit down at an empty table, and order some beers. Bud Light to be exact. I'm so excited to be here hanging out with my brother and best friend drinking, socializing and ready to take down this quiz like a fat kid at dodge ball. Or so I thought.
The quiz starts and the first few questions were easy, but then got extremely harder as they went along. Suffice to say we only got half of them right, but that's okay because I blame the drinking on it. It was still fun. We stumble out of the bar feeling good and my brother and I say bye to Damon and head off back to his apartment. My brother says I'm hungry and I totally agree and we stop off at Jack-In-The-Box. This greasy food tastes really good when your buzzed. We finally arrive back at the apartment and reminisce about the day laughing at certain events whether it be the: aggressive Subway guy, the hard-ass quiz, or the drive up here. We finish eating and then fall asleep.

When we wake up; I help my brother pack up his belongings. We say bye to Amy, and head off back home. I was a little bit bummed to leave this place knowing I had to go back home where reality was going to set in, but I know that I'll be back here hopefully sooner than later. And who knows maybe next time I could get laid. Fingers crossed.

I Hate Clowns !!

2009-08-17T12:42:00.000-07:00

When I was ten years old I watched Stephen Kings movie "IT" on television, and to this day it haunts me still. That movie left me terrified of so-called "funny people" caked in white make-up, having a big bright red Afro, bright red nose, and shoes that would make Santa's elves jealous. I remember after seeing this movie I thought I had seen the devil incarnate with fangs protruding from it's mouth; saliva dripping oh so slowly. I went to bed that night after viewing this cinema filled terror film; just staring at the ceiling thinking one thought: please do not kill me Penny wise. I wanted nothing more than to get this vision out of my head, but could not escape it. For a couple of months afterwards every time I heard a suspicious sound I thought it was Penny wise. Every time I thought I saw something weird I thought it was Penny wise. Because of this I vowed never, ever to trust at or gaze at a goddamn clown. I thought to myself that clowns were part of Satan's army disguised as mere childlike humorous people, but in reality were blood lusting child killers.
I never went to a circus, rodeo, or even a show-tent filled with used cars for fear that clowns would be there and not to mention probably look like my arch nemesis Penny wise. I also refused to see the Robin Williams movie "Patch Adams." I read reviews about it and long story short they were not that good. One point Pablo; zero clowns. I told my friends about my fear and they all laughed at my absurdity. They said that clowns are nice people in fact funny people. How could a clown who brings so much laughter be so scary? Easy watch IT and you will see how scary those fucking things are.
As I got older I eased up a little on my fear of "payasos" but will never come full circle to embracing them like a hug. I still shudder a little bit every time I see one on television or film, and if I have a kid in the future I will NEVER allow them to dress up as a clown for Halloween. I can only hope that I'm not the only person who harbors malice towards these insipid creatures. Thank you very much Stephen King for ruining my childhood.

My first Jam Session: I Now know why everybody wants to be a musician

2009-08-16T17:42:00.000-07:00

As I'm writing this blog my brother and his friends are still jamming together and it's awesome. I was really, really excited to see what all the hoopla was about and, man was I surprised. It's everything you expect it to be and more. My friend David showed up with his girlfriend Bernadette and they unloaded their equipment in my garage. I wanted to help set up and feel like a roadie, because then it would have given me the excuse to say, "I'm with the band." That would be so cool. They finish setting up and test the sound of the their musical instruments and look at each other with smiles that mean: Hell Yeah Let's Fucking Rock. I was watching with awe and jealousy; truth be told at not being able to participate. But alas I'm not that good enough to join a band, although in my defense I practice the drums everyday. Kudos to my brother for teaching me the basic drum beats.
Anyways they start covering Michael Jackson's "Billie Jean" and it sounds pretty good. Maybe I'm bias because they are my friends, but so what it's my blog, and they rock. Every twenty seconds they stop playing to input each other on what would sound better, and the improvements that could be made. I'm thinking this is the reason that sometimes bands blow up, break up, or disband like an earthquake or volcano. Take your pick. Fingers crossed that this group does not have "internal difficulties." Although judging from the camaraderie between the band it seems unlikely.
They then start playing melodies together and find one they all like. They all look at each other and smile; like when a person mining for gold comes across the big nugget. Jackpot baby. It sounds like a ska/rock/Rb'/melody that would make any big time producer salivate at the glands. Hopefully if they want to actually become a band any A&R representative producer would be lucky enough to sign them. Maybe I could be the blogger that informs the public about them.

Three dudes and a classroom

2009-08-15T20:58:00.000-07:00

I woke up today and the first thing that my dad says to me besides good morning is; "Hey would you like to help me decorate my classroom?" I wanted to say no but,reluctantly agreed. My dad also asked my brother and needlessly he agreed right on spot. After I have my morning coffee, rub the eye burgers from my retna, scratch my balls and take a shower we head off to Soledad, CA. If you don't know where that city is it's okay. It's a shit hole town. They have a sign at the city's entrance that reads: "It's happening in Soledad !!" If things are happening in Soledad, CA then the Mayan calendar must be right; we are going to die in December 2012.
We arrive at my dad's classroom and open the door and it looks like an ancient discovery. Dust everywhere, desks in every which way position you could imagine, boxes piled upon other boxes, and educational posters scattered everywhere. I take a deep breather and sigh considering this is the only way I know how to cope being sober at the moment. My brother on the other hand starts rubbing his hands together and smiling like the Joker, saying " What do we do first?"
My dad first tells us to rearrange the desks in an angular position. My brother and I do the deed and look at the finish product, and then look at each other and nod our heads in disgust. This way of organizing desks looks like a roomful of chimps went to work on it. No fucking way. My brother convinces my dad to make it columns. My dad agrees looking at how crappy this setup was.
The next thing that was on our agenda was to staple posters on his walls that read: "Remeber bullies no Friends yes and Reading is Awesome it will open new doors." I really wanted to be make sarcastic remarks to those posters, but rememeberd that my dad is a sixth grade teacher and of course you have to have posters that encourage a child's education no matter how cheesy it is. We take a break and during it my brother starts questioning me who the original Street Fighter characters. I got most of them right, but failed at getting at E-Honda. You know the fat sumo wrestler with fists of fury. (Seriously a sumo wrestler as fighting champ those guys move slower than a damn sloth.) After the break we finish up tyding the place making it look like a decent educational classroom and head off. After we finish an unexpted visitor drops bye who I thought was an oompa loopma from Willy Wonka's Chocatle Factory comment's how this classroom looks good. We smile and say thanks. After that I ask my dad if thier is anything else that needs to be done and he says no. We take off back to Salinas, CA and I can't help but think that most of those textbooks will have some sort of grafitti written on them.

Julia Phiefer State Park: An awesome time with my friends

2009-08-14T21:47:00.000-07:00

I woke up today feeling a little bit sad. I was bummed because last night my brother was telling he how he was going to a gorge with our friends and I assumed I would be going to, but to my surprise my name didn't even come up. This kind of irritated me a little, but I didn't want to show it. Unfortunately my brother can tell when I'm upset like a gay man being turned away from a Madonna concert. By the way I'm not gay; not that there's anything wrong with that.
My brother asks,"Pablo do you want to go?" And my reply is a firm no because I wasn't invited. My brother rolls his eyes, and says "Jeez man you don't have to be invited to go; you know your presence is always welcome." I stand my ground and say, "that unless someone other than you invites me then I'll go." My brother leaves the room, and says "fine." As I'm checking e-mail, surfing the web, looking at porn (yes I do that I'm a man and have needs) a knock rings on the door. My brother answers it and it's the crew that is going to the gorge. I'm surprised to see my friend David there. He asks me if, "I want to to go along also?" I say, "yeah that would be cool let me take a shower first." I take a shower quickly and we head off. I think my brother planned the whole thing, to get me to go but that's cool anyways.
There was five us in the car, myself my brother, David, his sister Sarah and her friend Terry. As were driving there we start discussing topics that range from why the band Fall Out Boy has such hideous members that should only come out night like goblins, or trolls. To why Fox News Network twists their story's to accommodate their agenda. We also discussed what shoes were more annoying to see people wear: Crocs or Uggs and the overwhelming majority was Crocs. Please people of America do not wear shoes that a Ken doll wears. Plastic shoes are never and will never be in style.
We finally arrive at our destination and pull up to the little toll booth that is the barrier between entering and leaving. It costs ten dollars to enter and David who is driving pays. When David finishes paying he asks the parkranger, "How do we get to the gorge?" The park ranger says to park in area three and then hike up to the gorge. David then asks, "What is the name of the trail we are supposed to hike?" The park ranger says, "Um it's called the gorge trail." Upon hearing this we snickered and laughed. If I were David I would have thought yeah I deserved that, but he played it cool as if nothing happened.
We park the car and hike up to the gorge and man it's beautiful. I know that I have been here before, but I can't remember the last time it was. I was surprised to see waterfalls there and we decide to start walking through them and cool ourselves down. I was the one who broke the seal by going under-neath it first and man was it fucking cold. But oh so refreshing. The others followed and we all shared a laugh. We decide to hike some more and explore the surroundings, but I wanted to stop once one of my sandals broke. Hiking with a broken sandal sucks; it feels like your walking like a drunken gimp stride and everything. As we head back to the car we notice a woman carrying her child upon her neck like Mogli from the Jungle Book. The woman was traversing the rocks trying to get to solid ground. I could only assume that the child was thinking dear god don't drop me; or I will never forgive you for this. They made it across successfuly and so did we.
We get back in the car and drive back home thinking this was a fun experience, but a couple of beers would have made it better.

Youtube: A place to be famous or infamous

2009-08-13T19:26:00.001-07:00

I don't have a video of me of me on youtube . I'm like the reclusive author Thomas Pynchon. There are a pictures of me if you scour the web, but for the most part I keep to myself and I like to keep it that way. I know that's ironic considering that on my profile I say I want to be famous, but it's true. I like having the privilege that so many celebrities would want and civilians have: to have a private life and not it be documented for the whole world to have. I'm sure that John and Kate Gosselin would want that now, but oh sorry to late. Please don't watch that schlock shit if anything for the kids sake. Those eight kids are headed to a E! True Hollywood Story and that is not good. I pray for them.
I'm not saying that marketing yourself for the whole world to see is a bad thing; in fact I kinda of encourage it to brand yourself, but the problem is when you want to be known for your crazy, moronic, fucked-up antics. Just look at Lindsay Lohan, Steve-O, and that crazy guy who sang chocolate rain. In his defense I don't think he's on the same par as Tom Sizemore. That guy has some serious problems to deal with. My problem with youtube is how America has taken it upon itself to think that viewing how somebody who can light their fart like a fourth of July fireworks spectacular will come to the conclusion that they deserve a lucrative career in Hollywood. While other people work hard, pay their dues, and struggle just to get their foot in the door. This is not fair at all, and I know what your thinking maybe I'm just jealous, but the truth of the matter is that I'm not. I enjoy watching other people post thier videos of doing something obscene or stupid. I just don't think that we should encourage them to pursue it in Hollywood where is already a bunch of shit waiting in line.